goodbye(or not)

salam.


 im saying goodbye to this old place.waiting for you here

alhamdulillah

salam.

here is just a quick update on what the latest happenings in my life.well,as what stated in facebook,my status has changed from single to married.alhamdulillah.Allah has granted my dua.

so how's life as a wife,as asked by many since i got married.to them...i just smiled.honestly i have no answer yet.the best part being a wife is i have the right to love the husband as much and as best as i could.in fact it's my responsibility to do so.there's no boundary as to how,when and where the love could be expressed.its a freedom for both man and woman that Allah has granted once a man recited the akad.after 8 years of relationship,surely the new bond that ties us together will be greatly appreciated.

and honestly,marriage is a good learning ground for me.from the husband i have learnt a lot since day one.certainly marriage is no walk in a park,but no matter how many humps and bumps along the road,we hold our hands tight and brave through everything together.

i think that's all for tonight.

i'll write again iAllah :)

comparison kills.

salam.

how cruel work can be that it deters me from writing here.haih.thousand apologize.i think this is the longest i've ever been hibernated from this page or do i have an even worse record before?gosh,i hope not.

it's already july.2011.thinking about how time flies so fast enough to tickle my spines.hope i dont miss out any important things before the event.i think i am now going through a painful period of waiting.so far this is the hardest time.i tried to gather all my strength and faced it alone but i just couldn't do it alone any longer.i need a break.let's just wait till he comes home.

yes till he's home......


eeeee....benci la rasa sedih2 ni.layan cite korea pon bagus.jom :))

of getting married(ntah edisi ke berapa)

salam.
forgive me if u peeped thru here and no new entry was written.i was caught up in between the craziness of my work and the feeling of laziness that would never go away,duh!so im officially 26 years old a few days ago and yet i still feel like i'm 16!haha.age is just a number right?what's more important is the way we feel about ourselves and how we enjoy our life.This year,i celebrated my birthday at work and on the road cause we had another road-tripping to the south.boy,it was different from the last 6 six years where i spent with my friends back in dublin.no more fancy holiday in european countries on my buffday like previous years.but blowing candles in front of my sister and mak was the best thing that happened in years.mak recited some prayers beforehand and that's the best gift a person could have given me ;)

my cousins whom i dearly miss.seronok dpt kumpul like this once in a while.

and now lets talk about something erm...different.haha.when i was reviewing patients..i was daydreaming  about my wedding.when i'm filling in blood forms,i was day dreaming about my wedding and when i'm about to sleep,again....the same thing would happen.i think i'm having this wedding blues.haha.is it normal?dah la tgh posting ward yg dhsyat gile teruk,boleh pulak berangan-angan camni.ishk..ishk..owh ya,my consultant now perangai dahsyat gile lae truk dari boss anne hathaway dlm the devil wears prada tu :(((

the unwanted nauseous feeling

salam.

before 5
all of us(read:me and my 6other colleagues) were bored to death for not having much work to do since 10am this morning.everyone including the boss couldn't hardly wait for 5pm so that we could punch out and dissappeared from the hosp compound.what an atypical day but i love it.hehe.

after 5.

i started to miss him so terribly.
i hate not seeing him over the weekend when i'm off from work.
i despised the fact i couldn't text him goodnight
i missed his laugh,his jokes,his smell around me.
and what i missed the most is his presence.
*paling rindu adalah bila dia buat lawak-lawak kecil yang i try not to laugh berpura-pura macho but it tickles my tummy deep inside that i silently had to laugh when i turned the other way around or when he's not looking*<---i dunno why i feel not right no laugh in front of him.haha.

missing loads.

salam.

waaahh..mcm dah lama tadak masa nk berleisure tulis blog bagai macam malam ni.hari-hari balik rumah fikir nk settlekan baju yg nk beriron,beg yg nak berkemas dan lunch box for tomorrow.mmg tadak life.but hey,that perception mmg kena ubah.so as a first step towards happier future.....let's write something here.

before 5.
while settling ward works before heading home,me,my colleague and mr boss were having this casual chat on why people still choose medicine despite the lifeless nature of it.our conclusion is:most of these people were not properly informed of the consequences of choosing doctor as a career.who would want to take care of like 45-50 patients in the middle of the night while other people are so soundly asleep?that is only a small gist of being a doctor.i need not tell u more.cukuplah bila pesakit sendiri hairan bila u tak balik dr pagi semalam ke petang harini sampai pesakit pun tnya"doctor tak balik rumah ke?marathon jaga ward ek"demn.

after 5.
waaaarggghhh....baru 4 bulan.lambatnya nk TUJUH bulan.ye,kenapa saya pilih pelaut?kenapa?*bang my head on the wall 100x*

when things are not falling into place.

salam.

its been a long time i came here to write.time decided to go against me nowadays.i barely breathe,whatmore to write.so lets start before i lose grip again on the mighty time.

before 5.
work is truly crazy.i never imagined not having any sleep in 24hours but since i started working in a new department,i was awake for 37hours  working non-stop during on-calls.so there goes the human rights to sleep all out the window.and talking about the mean things about working life,i think all of the living creatures in the hospital have no mercy towards each other at all.the nurses will bug u non-stop,from signing investigation forms to checking transfusion bloods series number from dusk till dawn.to top it up,the specialists will simply order  weird blood investigations(that u have never heard of) and blood cultures from morning to odd hours eventhough they are well aware TB labs are close non-working hours and viral loads and CD4 count can only be run on tue and thurs only.dan patient pula,stop ingesting clorox,racun serangga dan ubat gegat for these things are not even food or edible,MORONS!even writing about all these things give me shortness of breath.now i feel like running away.run away from the chaos in hospital.run away from never-ending ward works.in short,just quit being a doctor.

selepas pukul 5.
i'm souless.no mood to be human anymore.i practically dragged myself home.i even dozed off while driving at times.God loves me he saved my journey back home despite the recklessness and lethargy while driving.Sometimes i wished i hit the divider and broke my femur and not having to go to work for months.haha.silly me!the worst thing about this  crazy work is not having enough time for family and my loved one.stupid work.i lost count on how many times i cursed my job.but i'm grateful to God for sending my angelic mother who prays everyday so that i'm strong enough to face these trials and tribulations of so-called glamourous job of mine and a sister who iron my clothes on days i slept earlier than 9 and packed my lunch the night before as she noticed i'm not as chubby as before.God bless them.and God,please send syir all the happiness in the world for his patience and understandings towards me is far greater than i thought.

tomorrow i'm going somewhere not so near,yet not so far away,IAllah.it's somewhere i used to go with bapak.the short and sweet trips we used to had together.ah,the good old days and the memories that pierce my heart so softly yet so painfully felt.