i hate me.

salam.

to hurt or be hurt?

no.

to hurt AND be hurt.this is more likely.

stuck.

salam.

today is the day when i typed so many entries and published them but at the end the day,they are either being deleted or saved as a draft.so many things happened in between that eventually resulted in me having headache and lost interest to write at all.luckily i have some courtesy left to explain this.

i think i might retire early tonight.

p/s:how to bring back the lost excitement in a relationship just in case anyone knows?

kembali.

salam.

aku seperti kelkatu,
menunggu malam untuk bertemu,
menghadap siang yang penuh liku,
dengan harapan setinggi gunung,
menyapa bulan cantik sinarnya.

mahu saja aku beradu sepanjang hari,
agar bila celik sahaja mata ini,
walaupun gelap gelita makna malam itu,
bulan,kau cerah kan ia,
kau taburkan cahaya,
kau bawa pergi duka.

tatkala bila kamu kembali,
malam aku menjadi siang,
penuh warna selain cahaya,
mimpi aku tiada lagi yg ngeri
bersama sayap aku terbang,
menari-nari di langit malam.


mimpi.
mimpi sahaja itu semua.
aku masih membuka mata,
bersama suram mentari senja,
bersama dingin angin menyapa muka,
bersama penantian yang tak kunjung tiba.

benarkah kamu telah kembali?
kerana aku masih mencari,
masih aku gagal jejaki,
kalau ada pun cahaya mu bulan,
samarnya ia dilindung awan,
suramnya ia dikekang malam.

jangan biar kelkatu itu terbang,
pulang ke sarang dengan tangisan
kerana belum tentu bulan yang menjdi pujaan,
akan tegar menjadi sebutan,
agar terus kekal dalam ingatan,
jikalau air mata menjadi teman,
hati dan perasaan menjadi taruhan.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
just feeling a lil bit melancholy tonight.


good nite dublin.

delayed-reaction.

salam.

my L arm is more sore than the R.i got 2 japz today.the beauty of being medical students is we got the priority of being vaccinated earlier than ..well,non-patients and non-hospital staffs.hehe.the two are H1N1 and seasonal influenza vaccines.it's normal during winter for the influenza virus to get active.so bersyukurlah penduduk di negara semusim.at least u saved yourself from reccurent bouts of flu=)and regarding H1N1 tu,ireland slow sket nak develop pandemic nie.so baru skrg depa nk kelam kabut amik precautions what not..tp bagus jugak.balik mesia takyah pk pasal H1N1 nie dah.
saya kebal.cheewah.hehe

selain tangan sakit.hati pun sakit juga.

the soreness will go away.so does the heartache.i hope.

okies.kena wat essay 1200 perkataan nie.i need psychiatrist here.bukan dh mereng tapi tolong wat essay sat.hehe.

nite.

raya,raya,raya.

salam.

nie dah lewat malam nie.saya sepatutnya tidoq dah.tp secawan mocha sgt powerful making me wide awake at this wee hours.

anyway,2-3 hari nie,pergi mana-mana pun dengaq lagu raya.rumah-rumah kawan dan dalam radio dlm laptop sendiri pun ada.kononnya tahun ini perasan diri i tabah la.i told myself tahun nie i mst tak rasa sedeh sangat memandangkan tahun depan i dah raya kat malaysia.kunun nak enjoy raya this year kat sini puas-puas la.kunun akan bertabah nie.tapi i rasa nak humban kunun-kunun semua tu dalam longkang.isk..isk..isk..dengaq lagu raya nie makin sedeh.dengaq anak-anak sedara berkumpul di rumah buat kueh raya laeee sedeh.best gila klau boleh join.siap korang maksu buli.sorang goreng tepung sorang ayak tepung(nie tasks paling dibenci semua org okay).muahaha.kenapa tak buat dulu masa maksu ada.haa?..haaa?huhu.nak raya kat malaysiaaaa!huwaaa!

:'(

missing bag,missing hearts.

salam.

should i say yeaaayyy for being here again?or should i cry?well,i don't think both are appropriate.let's see...erm....firstly i'm grateful to be back safely.

~lega~

honestly,after such long hours,i'm just glad i made it home.

the chronology of quadruple flights.

malaysia airlines:penang-klia
departure:3rd sept 2145hours

emirates:klia-dubai
departure:5th sept 0055hours(delayed to 0200)
arrival:5th sept 0445hrs

emirates:dubai-london(heathrow)
departure:5th sept 0745hrs
arrival:5th sept 1215hrs

aerlingus:london(heathrow)-dublin
departure:5th sept 1550hrs(delayed to 1650hrs)
arrival:5th sept 1730hrs

total journey:23hours and 32mins(not including penang-klia)

total energy consumed:in total exhaustion.

p/s:mst korang pening tgok departure and arrival time tu kan?especially bila tgok bertolak 5sept,sampai pun 5sept.this is due to difference in local time of different countries.london-kl=7hours.dubai-kl=lost count.i think around 4-5..apa-apaun malaysia lae cepat

well,that was 2 days ago.i've already recovered and alhamdulillah no jet lag so far.

tapi cerita ni tak best lah tadak drama kan?when checking-in at klia,i were told that i could check-in my luggage directly to dublin.u see,i booked my flights to heathrow and dublin separately using different airlines and so i don't think this is possible.when the staff confidently told me he can do that,without further thinking i quickly handed in my booking reference of the flight from london to dublin.this is handy as direct check-in means i dont have to collect my bag in heathrow and recheck-in again.time and energy saving.but all the way i had this uneasy feeling about my luggage.when i finally touched down in dublin i quickly go to baggage reclaim and waited anxiously for my bag.it's blue and red in color and weighed 23kg.after waiting for quite sometime,i noticed the no show of the bag.i waited until there's no more beg on the belt and finally accepted the fact that my bag was missing and slowly i walked to the airline baggage counter to make a report.hurm....i didn't feel anything.not panic nor sad.i knew this coming.i somehow knew.at the same time,i were tired and my head was dizzy like hell i've no time to excessively worry about my bag anymore.kat mata nampak katil je.the receptionist will contact me once they trace my beg and send it to me around 8-12am the next day.

the next day:i woke up at half nine.still no news about the missing bag.continued unpacking and tidying up the messy room.the room was not only full of mess but chilly at the same time.i missed malaysia already.at 2pm i called them asking about the whereabouts of my bag.still untraceable.half-an hour late,i sent an email to emirates asking them a favor of locating the bag.~bersungguh-sunggu wa cakap lu sebab terkenangkan kek cokelat sebijik dan segala ketupat segera,perencah knorr secukup rasa dan 12 perencah nasik goreng.now u know lah why my nasik goreng i sedap kan.ahem!at 3pm baru je angkat takbir nak solat,ada call.terus angkat and woOOhoooo,they have found my beg it has safely arrived at dublin airport!yeay!around 8 the delivery man arrived and handed me the bag.siap sms lae after the called me.

from:EI

*-DUBEI23021-
bag01/BLUE-your item has been prepared to be delivered to you.-

::the exact sms i've received::

efficient kan?=)

i rasa dlm drama nie kan..i learnt something tau.masa beg hilang,takde perasaan.sehari selepas tu,i rasa sedeh.pastu mula la macam-macam perasaan lain bercambah.rasa unlucky lah,rasa malang lah.kalau la i bercomunicate dengan org,mst i rasa nak marah je.i trus tak bersemangat nak bgun pagi.masa sahur pg tu,i minum air paip and mkn kueh raya 3-4 bijik sbb tu je yg ada dlm hand-carry i.kettle pulak rosak.last i mkn heavy was in the flight from dubai-heathrow.around berbelas hours before.perut i sensitive.i doaaaaa sgt kat tuhan jgn bg i lapar or sakit perut sbb i mkn tu je for sahur.waktu puasa kat sini longer than malaysia.15jam setengah.bila dah tau beg dah jumpa,i malu sendri.i rasa i overreacted. tgok...tuhan nk duga i.sehari je dia hilangkan beg dah gelabah.tu baru beg.klau menda penting lain..for an instance..passport ke...(nauuzubillah la).lagi haru kan.so especially dalam bulan mulia ni...i dah promise myself nak increase the level of patience in myself.dan tuhan nak tunjukkan dalam apa2 menda pun...kita kena ada sifat kebergantungan kepada Allah yang sgt jitu.i bagi nama Allah high-dependancy unit(AHDU).kalau kat hospital unit nie menakutkan sbb it full of post-operative patients(baru lepas bedah) or org tenat but but not critical enough to be admitted into ICU.tapi kalau AHDU ni selamanya dok dlm nie lae bagus.tapi manusia selalu lupa.senang sket igt diri sendri je.kan?eh mungkin bukan korang,i je nie.
okielah,i rasa mcm ustazah tak bertauliah pulak.hehe

i baru buat grocery shopping and i dah beli 2pieces of salmon fillet and king prawns.ada idea tak nak masak apa?hurm...nampaknya perut nie masih belum bersedia nak terima ayam setelah 2 bulan dimanjakan sangat dengan variety of fish and seafoods.takpa pelan-pelan i cuba.

enuff for now lah ye.i'll write more when i have time and ideas.

till then take care.
muaahhss!