rewards

salam.

the joy of working is u get to see your previously bedbound patients are back on their feet again beaming from ear to ear making their first steps all over again .isn't it a wonder?

and the joy of being loved is you know he/she will return into your arms again no matter how long or how far  the person may go..i think this is simply as sweet as a candy(yes,u may puke.haha)



he's going offshore again.we both are okay with it.we had more than enough time together.it won't get any nicer by going against the nature of his work right?hehe.it's time and with full-heartedly support,i wish him well and smooth-sailing journeys ahead.




dear fiance,

please find me asap once you sign-off.i'll make sure i have a beautiful wedding gown to wear by the time u're back  :)

kisah semangkuk laksa.

salam.

dear syir,

i'm home,safe and sound..and as usual,fully-loaded.sorri tak msg/call awal.semua org decided tinggal hp kat rumah mlm nie.sian saya kacau awak tido td.

masa saya nak cari  seat dlm bus td kan,saya langgar smua org yang dah duduk dengan bag2 saya yang agk byk dan besar tu.naseb baik awak tolong pack kan.kalu tak,lagi byk.ye la,mcm-mcm mak awak bg kan sblum sya balik.laksa,nasi,even bbur lambuk pun ada.nk makesure saya tak lapar atas bus lepas buka puasa.seronok tau dpt mak yang rajin masak mcm mak awak.tu belum masuk 4 biji limau bali yg boleh tahan saiz dia.mak saya gelak je saya bli byk tu.dia kata mak suruh beli sebiji je(tp sya tak dengar pun dia kata sebiji tu)mereka pasrah je.hehe.pastu kan compartment atas tempat letak beg tu takleh buka la pulak.nama je bus baru..tp xsma mcm bus dulu-dulu.end-up kat bawah tempat letak kaki penuh dgn bag.tp saya duduk la jugak.nk buat mcm mana kan.masa tu nk makan bekal tu mcm payah la pulak.dgn beg kiri-kanan,atas-bawah.saya dah gelisah asyik tringat laksa mak awak tu.ni awak punya pasal,dok promote2 dlm kereta td.lepas saya meksure bus masuk highway and tiada lagi pit stop nk ambil more penumpang,saya jalan ke driver tanya"bang,seat kosong kat belakang tu takde org duduk ke?boleh saya duduk tak?"(kebetulan saya survey2 ada la 3 baris kosong kat belakang).abg tu jawab"takde.duduk la mana kamu nk duduk".owh ini mmg peluang keemasan.saya pun apa lagi,jlnkan proses pemindahan bag..dan dptlah saya 2 seats for myself.lepas tu kan awak,saya trus bukak mangkuk laksa tu.bukak2 je,saya nampak telur rebus separuh utk mkn dgn laksa.perghhh...mmmg nikmat.saya rasa tak smp 10 mins kot,laksa tu pun dah selamat masuk perut.see...siapa kata saya segan.saya tak kira dah satu bus bau ke...saya tetap nk makan.mmg betul kata awak,laksa tu sedap gile.mcm mkn kat kedai.ini bukan nk amek hati,tp betul2.baik awak belajar mcm mana nk buat nie dr mak awak..sbb saya rasa 85%chance saya akn kempunan laksa nie bila saya mengandung nt(in future la,bukan skrg)hehe.buatnye saya nk mkn tgh2 mlm,takkan nk kol mak awak kots.kan? :D

owh selain makanan dan limau bali,beg saya juga mengandungi sepasang baju kurung biru.eccceyyyy mcm tajuk lagu raya pulak kan?terima kasih byk2 belikan untuk saya.honestly,walau pun saya ada baju kurung lain yang sepasang 200-300ringgit,baju kurung biru nie tentunya akan jadi baju kurung yang paling saya sayang.sebabnya awak yang bagi.baju kurung pertama dari awak.saya tak kisah pasal harga,cantik ke tak(kalau tak cantik mst kita tak beli kan)...apa yang penting,awak sanggup redah lebih dari sepuluh kedai dgn saya(tolong jgn serik okkk).u were there when i tried them on.U WERE THERE!tolong bagi pendapat,tolong kutuk jugak la kan.but i wouldn't mind(for now la,klau dah kawen nti,awak kutuk lagi saya gemok,siap!)itu yg paling saya hargai. :) trust me,i love it! the bju kurung and YOU.

and lastly,terima kasih berbuka puasa air apple dan jagung rebus je dgn saya dan tunggu saya tdi sehingga bus jalan eventhough saya di dalam,awak di luar.kalau saya tahu driver tu lambat dia buka puasa dulu,saya dh trun bawak laksa-laksa sekali kita makan dolu.mula-mula saya mmg nak awak tgu smp bus jalan.igtkan sekejap.tp after more than 15 mins,saya kesian sbb saya tau awak lapar.kita berbuka tak proper bus pun smp.awak tak mkn apapun lagi.kalau awak balik pun saya redhoo.hehe.tp smp bus jalan saya nampak muka awak tercongok tgu saya.sayu betul nak balik.sobsobsob.

sya syg awk byk-byk.

yang benar,
si comel awak(kikiki)

hope.

salam.

i baru call agent syir kat office mnta dia dpt balik ontime which is in the end of july.bukan seminggu,2mgu atau sebulan after the expected release date sebab nti dh bulan puasa.i hope she really means what she has said."kita akan buat kerja kita dengan sebaiknya".i have a good feeling that she will walk the talk as my syir has quite an impressive history on being released ontime(a few days or a week tu kira cincai la...since tak pernah rasanya he being held captive onboard for more than a month overdued).


owh masa cepatla...cepatla...i dah rindu nak pi fishing dengan dia.pastu lumba-lumba siapa dpt ikan byk dan gelakkan masing-masing siapa dpt buntal(pufferfish!this devil is not only poisonous,but it bites the hook and plummet/sinker smp putus!) and now tgh musim durian...i nk ajak dia makan durian kat balik pulau near the place we went fishing the last time.

:))


p/s:sekejap je hati dah berbunga-bunga.baru td igt nak buat entry pasal hati kosong.hati kosong?apakah?

a lot like love.

salam.

the final month always the hardest.i knew it.for the last 5 months i was fine on my own.
but when my concious mind finished doing the maths,automatically heart says it couldn't wait any longer.and this is when suffering begins.

why there is a thing called love in the first place?

worn out.

salam,

harini hari leth saya.

tak larat nk berpuisi,apatah lagi nk bermadah helah(tp tulis blog ok yerk?)

cuma nak cakap,"lambatnya nk tunggu bulan august!"

huhu.sobsob.huwaa!

p/s:first time ada harapan nk ambil syir kat airport nti :D hopefully dia tak turun dalam bulan puasa lah.

.ticking.

salam.

it's not even eleven yet,but my body being signaled by the great mastermind--->the brain is dragging 'ms jeem' to bed already.i hate this.i should be reading something instead of blogging.but if i don't blog,i sleep. which one is worse?God help!

on a different note,sunday is just a perfect day!talk to mak for hours and got buzzed by syir from philippine on his way to bintulu.sehari-dua lagi sampai la tu ke bintulu.yey-yey!

:D

.lectures.

salam.

it feels unfamiliar somehow to attend 'formal' lectures back.lecture days were long gone(it was 2 and a half year ago during my pre-clinical years).bukan nya tiada lansung kuliah dlm clinical years nie cuma byk lae buat practical dr pergi kuliah.but from tomorrow onwards,i'm going to lectures again.time to put on jeans and snickers again as well.me love!tp 4 lectures in a day?pengsan!tetiba berkobar pulak.haha.hopefully tak hangat2 tahi ayam la kan.so this will be my final 4 weeks of lectures as a medical student insyaAllah(kalau i takyah repeat.ya Allah....mntalah i pass my final,ameen).how time flies yeah?i'm nearly done.heheh.UCDians 2010,skeeet jeeee laeeeee :))))

owh ya,smlm tunang i dh boleh msg2 thru fb dr nagasaki,nippon.bila tgok nama dia dok komen2 kat fb i mmg terubat lah rindu sket!hehe.so kepada buah hati org kapal sekalian,selain msg2 thru celcom,maxis,digi etc yg akn charge rm2 setiap sms dr luar negara,diorang bleh activate facebook mobile and msg to your facebook inbox with just rm1 per week!(i agk xpercaya but i dh clarify dgn dia.nti i confirm balik) tp still,rate itu jauh lebih murah.so boleh la save duit sket nk bina masjid kan?keskes.what u need is a facebook account yow!(which i'm sure most of u guys ada)hehe.ada org dh pesan suruh i rajin update facebook ni.i will dear=)

3hb april nie dh 2 bulan la dia sign off.another 4 months to go.yeah,i boleh,i boleh!
tetiba rasa nk plan percutian extravaganza bila dia balik.incik syir,kemana kita?hehe.

bukit bendera.a week after i landed from dublin.well-planned!i suka(padahal kat penang je pun.ahaks!)

rightO!i nk titun.nite2!

.insomniac.

salam.

i couldn't sleep.this sleepless state never fails to visit me every year,a few times.i guess he came knocking again.

knock,knock,knock.
the first day,i said go away please.

knock,knock,knock.
go to hell!i told him to leave again the next day.

knock,knock,knock.
i gave in.be my guest.do come in but promise me dont stay for too long.because your stay here will invite another dreadful guest,depression.

i nak syir.
balik cepat.
i nak u.

.fluctuation.

salam.

i have good news!syir has been onboard for a month already!hohoho!good to know right? :) 5months left and still counting.i just noticed this while fixing the daisypath tickers before midnight just now.so today,he's a month and a day working hard on the ship.syian alahai.hurm...at the moment he must be floating away on south china sea i would say as his tanker just departed from bintulu yesterday.tetiba rasa nak nyanyi "row,row,row ur boat!"hehe.he reminded me last weekend in one of his emails on how fast time flies that he's nearly a month being away from me.i, on the other hand is totally disagree when he used the word'fast' as an adjective sbb saya rasa lamaaaaanyerrrr sebulan baru!huhuh!plus lately our communications has to be limited due to my circumstances as a final year medical student.that's how our relationship is from the beginning.he would leave me alone to study in peace when exam's around the corner.tapikan,saya nie main-main.klau ada curfew on phone calls or chatting mst tak ikut sgt.but when he's sitting his final exam in the UK dulu,mmg he refused to waste his time like me.phone calls dr everyday trus cut down once a week saja(best gila dulu call UK-Ireland free!hari-hari bley gayut!).separuh gila jugak la org kat sini.haha.but i know he always concerns and being extra cautious about my studies because as evryone knows,medicine is difficult all around.mungkin juga klau saya sgkut(God forbid laa),lg lambat la ehem-ehem.haha.joking!erm.......................................................i miss him.i guess i have to be patient.another 2 months and i'll b free and he's definately looking forward to that moment too!

and talking about my studies,cuba tgok kat ticker sebelah....hehe.lagi 3 bulan.eh..eh..dh jd 2 bulan++ nk graduate!tp sebelum graduate kena exam dulu.ya Allah,ngeri tau pk nk exam ni.huhu.tp dlm sibuk2 study sempat saya mem'booking'tickets tok berjalan2 masa cuti nti.this time my family will join yours truly.really can't wait.i think all of us will be backpackers soon.mana taknya,i will start jumping airports soon.haha.and jika ada rezeki,i'll be celebrating my silver jubilee buffday this year somewhere else pulak.this is gonna be fun!=D

cheapo ticket-hunting activity nie mmg mengeluarkan byk adrenaline dan menyebabkan saya masih alert w'pun dh 2.30 pg.okies,i need to force myself to sleep.esok nk bgun suboh.hehe.

nite!

p/s:korang ada idea tak nk bg apa klau nk anta parcel kat bf/tunang/suami di atas kapal tu?dh kering idea pk.

  

last year i celebrated my buffday with aiza and Eiffel.this year?we'll see.heee

as the distance grows apart..

salam.

harini cuaca terang benderang.panas terik diluar sana.selalunya hujung minggu begini,kalau tidak di penang,mungkin di ipoh ataupun di tempat lain.tapi minggu ni memerap di dalam bilik sahaja.teruk betul kesedihan kali ini.dulu-dulu tak pernah rasa begini..bila tgok gambar...laee sedih.smlm tanya syir,klau sedih nak buat apa?TIDO katanya.hahahah.

syir dah selamat smp atas kapal kat bintulu nun.harini i decided not to go anywhere sbb harini dan esok sahaja boleh sms and kol sblum kapal bergerak.lepas tu hanya email sahaja penghubung setia.sometimes i wonder how i survived those days without any means of communication for about 2 weeks for years.yg boleh email hari-hari ni pun baru sahaja,i think it started from the last ship.alhamdulillah.harap-harap kapten rajin la update the system.and he agreed to board the same ship as the previous one.reason behind it?one of it will be short gap in btween 2 ports.around 6-7 days dah bleh sms or calling-calling.i like..i like.tapi sian dia,lepas nie everyday is monday and chances nak bgun lmbt mmg close to 10% je kot.huhu.but being his other half,i have to support him.be his backbone where possible.and don't worry the next time he signs off,i'll be right here waiting for him; ) dan boleh raya bersama-sama jugaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak!


gambar sebelum i jd tunang dia.i paksa him pose jugak sbb i nak dok dlm ray ban baru dia.hihihi.tp cara dia mcm volunteer je.muaheheh.i'm definately going to miss this guy,the syir of my life..

thank you,love.

salam.

for more than a month i was living on cloud nine.
everything was bright and dandy.
everything was perfect,in our own way.
the laughter and tears i shed were all worth it.
if i were given a chance to choose again or to start anew,i would still go for what i have chosen before.
it's truly priceless.
the moments,the happiness and the real joy,owh boy i couldnt ask for more.

when the reality knocks me hard,i've learnt before not to stumble.
but to remain strong on the base of trust and loyalty.
i know i'll cry.
i know i'll break down.
i'm sure one of those days going to be very tough.
but dear self,keep ur feet tight to the ground as once the ship drop its anchor into the sea floor,you'll fly again to the bluest sky.



credit to azmil

sayu pula tgok gambar ni.just a week after our engagement ceremony.
a lot of things i still haven't done for him and yet he's off sailing again .

saya doa Tuhan lindungi anda.
be back safely.promise me.

sobsobsob.

brighter.

salam.

after long winding hours and bumpy rides,i'm safe and sound at home.when the warm gush of wind swept my face,i knew i'm back in penang,the place that i'm always in love with.and now my current favourite word is landing.i dunno how many times i heard this word for the last 3 days.and i think i'm in the worst jetlag ever.feeling like sleeping 24 hours and unfortunately my eyes show.but i'm still amazed how i survived the triple flights,the delays,the snow,the low temperature and whatnots.

the feeling of seeing my brother and my little nephew waiting at the departure gate is beyond words as always.the huge sense of relief is the best feeling ever.and what i got for myself the next day is faboulously beautiful=)



and another favourite moment, not another sandwich or nasik goreng perencah.


i'm supposed to meet mrs lune on wed but she has had a meeting to attend to which is totally understandable considering the last minute plan and such.but i do hope we can meet up someday and maybe with more bloggers as well(such as org tg malim*hint..hint*)hehe.

and i think i couldn't get enough hugs from mak and kakak.what a joy!:)))))

the joy of coming home is synergised by the news of my niece who has done extremely brilliant in her PMR.i think i just found someone who's going to inherite my medical kitabs that i'm glad to get rid of.(meaning tak sabar nk grad and habes belajar la ni.master pikir kemudian=P).i'm so proud of you!

okie dokie,
before i sign off,to my housemate,ms sarah marilyn amin and anyone who celebrate christmas,happy christmas!



dh lama takdak gambar camni.layan je lah eh?heeeee

.happy birthday.

salam.


happy birthday incik ichigo ku.

saya doakan anda sihat,gembira dan dirahmatiNya selalu.ameen.

insight.

salam

owh senangnya dalam hati.essay ku sudah siap.*let's sing together girls*hehe

hari ini so many things happened.as usual,there are good and bad things.for the good ones,i could never thank God enough for those.and for the bad ones,there's lotz to learn from them.sometimes we feel happy for no reason.and the same thing goes to sadness.(*owh apalah yang i merepek ni kan*hehe).

having learn psychiatry at the moment, even unstable emotion has its remedies.so if you're feeling low(in terms of mood),no energy,lost appetite,losing weight and slowly losing interest in what u've been enjoying before(such as hobbies;ps3,wii,watching tv,golf,fishing,sex?yes,sex!),cannot sleep(tetiba jd early riser or u spend hours golek-golek atas katil) please seek help.this is not about stress anymore.it's DEPRESSION!(owh don't be scared by the capital letters word which i shouldn't caps lock in the first place=P).this is just a phase of mental illness that shouldn't be creeping on you for the rest of your life.go seek help.pi clinic.forget the stigma ttg penyakit gila whatthe crap.this is about you,love yourself!go tell the doctor what u feel,since when this thing happen and the difficulties u'r facing in your daily life.iA,the doctor will tell you what to do.always remember that depression is just a phase of life that has its end.it's not a life-long condition(it will be if u ignore treatment).so friends and foes,i know there are lotz of people who are having depression out there.please..please..come forward.tell your friend.tell your spouse.tell your parents.it's not your fault to be depressed.


dun let depression eat you slowly inside.

and say NO to commit suicide(GOD forbid!)

done with kerja kebajikan.u know when u learn something and u don't spread it around,it becomes a burden.so now i can give a *b......i.....g* sigh=)

next paragraph is mushi-mushi if u nk termuntah baca sila angkat kaki(i mean it).

~haritu incik ichigo kata dia ermmm........rindu i.
~i balas i rindu nak gaduh-gaduh manja la kan ngan dia.(gosh i lupa la the last time we gaduh.lama gila lah and the funny thing is lepas berdamai mst rsa 100x lae syg.haha)
~yesterday we fought and today we made peace.
~owh sangat tidak cool and hati berdarah gaduh nie rupanya.(see,dh lama smp lupa rsa dia)
~and next time klau dia ckp the same thing,i nk jwb mee too sahaja.no more jwpn merepek luar sedar.
~moral of the story:be careful for what u'r wishing for.

cerita tamat.

owh i lupa cerita baru di penang.
kat penang dah ada hard rock cafe+hotel.
lambatnya i baru tau.
kat ipoh ada ke? *senyum jahat* (=

offnote:tak sabar nak tgu 16hb.i think i wanna buy myself a bunch or roses,to celebrate.heeee....

.kumbang.

salam.

kumbang saya dah balik.

heeeee

=))





welcome home!

vanishing sun

salam

there were lots of people at malaysia hall.

there were satay too but i didn't get any.poor us and boO the organizer.

there were 2 people wearing the same baju kurung but with different color.i wished i had my sister's.

there was drum hero besides guitar hero at jay's.but i think i better stick to guitar.

there were delicious yummy beehun soup and moist chocolate cake with our own nasi impit and kuah kacang.i think i couldn't get enough of them.

manchester city lost to united!owh i'm worried.

but hey,chelsea drowned spurs 3-0.a big yeay isn't it?

owh lord,more to say but where art thou?

it's been few frustrating days.

not a hello from the virtual world nor calls from the other side of the world.

its raya and all i want to do is to ask for forgiveness and to wish u a blessed and beautiful eid ul fitr.

i hope all is well.

i really do.

~worried soul

a quickie.

salam.

ok,i ada approximately 10 mins b4 10.50 malam.nothing important.it just that i have to prepare slides for my presentation on thursday.tapi hati nie kuat nak berblog.boleh ke macam tu?apa-apa je lah labu....

today is the second day i'm doing paediatrics.when i went up to the wards,hati kecil i cakap....chummelnya budak-budak nie.w'pun sakit dan merengek-rengek,they are still adorable.macam mana tk cair tgok.hurm...now i want one..or maybe 2 or 3 for myself.huahuahua.bila tgok si kecik tu senyum and waved me goodbye...sayu je nak tinggalkan ward.pernah sekali,i termenangis bila tgok dia senyum dan boleh ketawa tapi dari segi pergerakan,dia hanya mampu golek-golek kiri dan kanan tapi tak boleh meniarap pun walaupun dah 3 tahun.i tahan air mata jgn jatuh sebab i tanak jdi lemah sbb nanti macam mana i nak ubatkan mereka nie.okay-okay tutup cerita.i dah kena amek tisu~sobbing~

i miss mr seaman.sobs.rasa lama tak jumpa.the last time i heard from him,the ship tgh rolling.ni bahasa org kapal kot sbb i honestly have no idea rolling tu apa b4(dlm kepala igt lagu limb bizkit je,huahuahua..rolling rolling rolling).rolling ini adalah keadaan di mana kapal kena goncang dengan big waves.betulke?macam taufan la gitu.dia kata rasa macam naik lif tak stop-stop.or macam kena goncang dalam gelas.ngeri.tambah-tambah bulan posa nie...i rasa kesian la.tsk tsk tsk.dengan peningnya,dengan nak on duty lagi.kalaupun i jauh dr family,i still duduk kat darat yang tanahnya kejap.w'pun tadak bazar ramadhan,masih ada take-aways and fast foods yg halal.ini adalah alasan beliau untuk say NO bila i merengek mahu ikut ke laut nanti.kadang-kadang i rasa terharu how some people work so hard for a living.kalau duty time berbuka/sahur maka makannya pun merata-rata lah.kat enggine room ke...sedeh la dengar camni.hurm...so to entertain him onboard,i selalu update him with the latest EPL punya games.i'm happy when he's happy knowing his fave team has won the matches and after quite sometimes being an unpaid reporter,i'm quite familiar with the players and the club myself(smp berangan nak pi wembley tgok live match,haha)..cuma u jgn lah memadukan i dengan bola u tu ye.i tak sanggup jd the second one.sobs.*nie dah jd entry jiwang karat dan memuji bf sendri,maaf*=)

okielah.puasa baik2 semua.nanti dah nak smpai ke 10 mlm terakhir.jom tingkatkan ibadah,kuatkan iman ok~

when i came to my senses.

salam.

to love
is to be able to bear the pain and the sufferings.
to face doubts and uncertainties
to feel hurt
to taste tears
to stand still against the gravity of obstacles
and to go insane.


while to stop loving
is to live no life at all.

dont ask me to stop hoping cause that's the way i live my life with you.

truly touched.

salam.

hari ini adalah indah.=)

finally i met his mom.how was it?macam mana saya jatuh cinta dengan dia,begitu juga saya jatuh cinta dengan ibunya.she's lovely.enough said.terasa banyak kurangnya diri saya apabila dilayan sebegitu rupa.bukan dilayan tidak baik.tetapi dia membuatkan saya merasa dekat dengan keluarganya.dilayan seperti sudah kenal lama.sudah pernah berjumpa.padahal ini adalah pertama kali bagi segala-galanya.seeing my mum and his mum walking side by side joking around made me feel like i have two mums.i felt warm inside.

and his brothers and sisters?they made me feel secured.terasa segala permasalahan besar menjadi kecil.serasa cepat saja mahu menjadi sebahagian daripada mereka.they took great care of each other.betul cakap dia dahulu,dia tak perlu orang lain sebagai rakan sepermainan sewaktu kecil.dia ada mereka.sekarang saya betul-betul faham.he has the most wonderful siblings i've emer met.

selain tempoyak,asam jawa dan kuah durian homemade serta cempedak dan bahulu,terlalu banyak kasih dan sayang saya terima hari ini.saya juga telah berjumpa acuan yang membentuk dia selama ini.i'm glad i found him.

sekali lagi saya jatuh cinta....bukan sahaja dengan dia,tetapi dengan seluruh keluarganya.

kepada Tuhan saya bersyukur dan berdoa agar dipanjangkan jodoh kami dan berkatilah kedua-dua keluarga agar cinta kami semua menuju kepada cintaMu.

to mak and kakak for being so understanding...only GOD can repay everything.

i just wanna be me.

wif u by my side.

kapal nk gerak esok.

j:u work hard

i:u study hard

damn.kan dah kena studi hard.lenkali nk cakap u, kerja slow-slow or rilex-rilex.mst dia cakap u,studi slow-slow,rilex-rilexhaha.ntah apa-apa.

today,the brain just refused to work harder.come on brain,dun let me down.i need your full function to the max.now!

last friday,a friend of mine went travelling by herself.she came to my house asking for advice about stockholm and with a map of stockholm i gave her off she went.a.l.o.n.e!she took a flight to oslo and then hop on the bus to stockholm that evening.arrived the next day,spent half-a-day in the capital city of sweden and took another bus back to oslo that very night.the next day she took a flight back to dublin.now she's safe and sound here as i just got a call from her.from her voice i could tell she really had a great time in the scandinavian countries.hats off!it's not easy tau nk travel sorang2.sebut stockholm,rasa nk senyum sorang-sorang.ah,kenangan.


okey,i received a signal telling me the brain is ready to give its best shots.
c ya.