a lot like love.

salam.

the final month always the hardest.i knew it.for the last 5 months i was fine on my own.
but when my concious mind finished doing the maths,automatically heart says it couldn't wait any longer.and this is when suffering begins.

why there is a thing called love in the first place?

la tahzan.

salam.

semenjak-dua menjak nie,rasanya tiada masalah lain dlm hidup ni kecuali masalah kewangan.adat hidup menganggur,beginilah.akibat tidak pandai mnguruskan kewangan di masa lampau pun iya juga.cuma saya tidak terkilan berhabis membawa ibunda dan kakak dan abg berjalan-jalan sewaku menghadiri graduation tempoh hari.itu adalah sebagai membalas jasa mereka.doa-doa yang tidak putus sepanjang 6 tahun pengajian...itu belum lagi muka gembira dan sedih(yg selalu cuba disembunyikan) menunggu di airport setiap tahun menyambut dan menghantar saya kembali ke ireland.walau berjuta saya belanjakan nilainya tidak sama.letak itu ketepi.

mungkin kerana selalu berwang(w'pun scholarship dan matawang lain-lain),bila tidak ada,susah hati betul.dan saya tidak layak mengadu kepada keluarga kerana dari dulu keperluan asas memang tak pernah kurang.cuma apa yang hati minta ini mengada-ngada.Tuhan..kalau ini lah denda atau kafarah atas rezeki orang lain yg aku terbelanja atau diguna tanpa sedar,risau di hati mmg milik aku.kena redha dari ditanggung kemudian hari.kadang-kadang terfikir,duit tu harta dunia semata-mata.tak boleh masuk kubur pun.apalah yang nk dirisaukan sangat kan?tapi fitrah manusia,bukan sekadar kewangan,tapi tenaga,masa dan kadang-kadang kasih sayang memang tidak pernah cukup...jauh sekali nak bersyukur.

Tuhan dah jelaskan,ingatlah 5 perkara sebelum 5 perkara:
1)muda sebelum tua
2)sehat sebelum sakit

3)kaya sebelum miskin

4)lapang sebelum sempit

5)hidup sebelum mati.

tu dia,Tuhan awai2 dah bagi warning,tapi tetap tak beringat.dah-dah..jgn dok bersedih dah,dari dipikir duit yang mmg tak akn cukup smp bila2,lebih baik berazam jgn ulangi kesilapan yg sama dan pikir mcm mana nk tambah pahala kurangkan dosa.ecece....bunyi alimnyerrrr hai.(monolog dalaman mcm nilah yg selalu melengahkan kita nk buat menda baik kan?)

                                                                                   cliff of moher,ireland.summer2010

                                                        dalam byk2 tempat lagi grand yg depa pi,ireland jugak pujaan hati.

okies kawan2....jumpa lagi.

nota hari jumaat.

salam,

"barang yang lepas jangan dikenang............"

ingat tak intro lagu p.ramlee nie?
tadi masa tgh melipat kain yang klau sidai tak cukup ampaian tu...smbil mata ke layar tv.al-kulliyyah.mulanya nk tukar channel lain seperti selalu,tetapi bila tgk tajuk. taubat.
hati macam berbisik2 pulak....."at least dengar la sikit apa ustaz tu nk cakap..".

dalam banyak benda yang diperbincangkan tadi,ada satu isinya yang menarik hati.

kata professor jemputan tadi,ada 2 benda yang perlu dikenang selalu dan kalau boleh sampai ke akhir hayat.

1)dosa-dosa lama.ini supaya kita terusan2 insaf dan timbul rasa rendah diri kepada Allah  s.w.t dan selalu meminta ampun dan bertaubat tanpa jemu.

2)mati.ini sendiri mau igt la kenapa kan?hehe

selamat hujung minggu dan selamat beramal.

p/s:skrg musim durian dan buah-buahan tempatan kat penang nie.ada org kata buah durian balik pulau yang terbaik seantero dunia.ada berani rasa ?:P

worn out.

salam,

harini hari leth saya.

tak larat nk berpuisi,apatah lagi nk bermadah helah(tp tulis blog ok yerk?)

cuma nak cakap,"lambatnya nk tunggu bulan august!"

huhu.sobsob.huwaa!

p/s:first time ada harapan nk ambil syir kat airport nti :D hopefully dia tak turun dalam bulan puasa lah.

i hate me.

salam.

to hurt or be hurt?

no.

to hurt AND be hurt.this is more likely.

dahlia

salam,

malam yang hujannya renyai-renyai,bersama-sama secawan besar milo panas adalah gabungan terbaik senaskah novel milik kakak.

*senyum*

"Dahlia,sesungguhnya Allah telah menyembunyikan enam perkara...."

1)Allah telah menyembunyikan reda-Nya dalam taat

2)Allah telah menyembunyikan murka-Nya dalam maksiat

3)Allah telah menyembunyikan namaNya yang maha agung dalam al-Quran

4)Allah telah menyembunyikan lailatul Qadar dalam bulan Ramadhan

5)Allah telah menyembunyikan solat yang paling utama dalam solat(yang 5 waktu)

6)Allah telah menyembunyikan (tarikh terjadinya) hari kiamat dalam semua hari.


                                                                                    ~panggil aku Dahlia

harini dah 1 rejab.bermulalah bulan mngejar pahala.sebetulnya mungkin hati belum cukup ikhlas untuk berpuasa sehari penuh ia lebur sebelum masuknya asar. :(

revert.

salam.

i'm home.

 12 hours flight with family members onboard was somehow sweet experience that makes time went by quicker.sedar-sedar dan smp klia.truly like the feeling of seeing familiar faces around. :)

plus,i just had a catching-up session with my buddies who i missed their presence so dearly when i was in dublin.we talked about so many things from work,politic to relationship matters.there were happy and not-so-happy stories and from them i realized as we grow old,the problems are more difficult and harder to deal with.tetapi tuhan maha bijaksana,the older the wiser we are :)

however,there's something i miss about dublin,the summer weather.i know i'm complaining now but who wouldn't when u could feel sweats dripping from all over your body most of time especially after 6 years living with natural air-conditioner and sweat-free?(eleh jeem,macam u lahir kat kutub utara kan?hehehe).come on,cut me some slack and give me time.iAllah,i'll adapt back.

owh lupa,being able to talk to syir for hours via mobile phone add another extra point to the positive side of being home.the fiance of mine just anchored at bintulu upon my arrival  indirectly making my homecoming extra special. ;)

but i know,life is not a bed of roses.while i'm happily eating mom's cookings,happily chatting away with childhood friends,happily wasting call-credits with my loved one,there are friends back in dublin or wherever  they are who's struggling with their modular exams,final med exams and the likes.itu belom lagi org kat palestine nu yang ditembak hidup2,children separated from their parents and worst, limited foods and medications for survival.in fact,in my own life,i dont know what God has in store for me in future,but i do pray he gives me strength and bless me,my family dan seluruh umat manusia with nur ,hidayah and peace of mind.

owh apa yg i merepek malam-malam ni.oklah kamu-kamu,i'm officially penanam anggur.so iAllah jeem ada plenty time to write later.take care and drink plenty of water to replace the insensible loss from the sweating ye(khas untuk ex-dubliners just in case u read this :P)
p/s:to my dear blogger friend who's recuperating from a great loss recently,my heart goes out to you.Allah knows best.remember that tau :)

it's not goodbye.

salam.

dear dublin,

for so long i've been waiting for this moment to come,to go home and never come back to meet you again.i guess my wish has been granted come tomorrow.but why i feel very sad?my heart is aching departing from you.you start to feel like home to me.the place where i've learnt so many things,cried  so many times and laugh out loud!the place which thought me a true meaning of friendship and most importantly the place which made me realize i have more in me than i previously thought.eventhough i have opportunity to prolong my stay,to let myself falling deeper with your beautiful summer,i have to admit i have far more reasons to go home where i truly belong.i have undeniably a wonderful family who will wait for me at the front door when i'm exhausted from work,i have friends who never fail to show up and drag me for teh tarik and support my back when things go haywire and not to be forgotten,i have a fiance that i want to build a life together and spend the rest of my life with Godwilling and he's waiting for me to come home.

semoga kita berjumpa lagi dublin.

thank you for making me,me.thank you for giving me such memorable moments that i would definately cherish forever and thank you for making my biggest dream came true.

yours truly,

Dr AMH



predictable yet meaningful song.