berbunga-bunga.

hyde park.london.spring 2010.

salam.

i was nearly going to name this post as childbirth.what a name!haha.

well,these few days have been euphoric.with mr fiance just a few hundreds km away(landed.trust me,it does make a difference compared to when he's sailing) and fasting month environs that is sooo different from previous years,i think i never felt much better to i am now.now dh boleh remove ticker berapa bulan dia onboard tu.sakit mate je tgok.haha.

rasa seronok sgt fiance dh dekat dgn i.our relationship i would say is like a pregnancy-childbirth cyle.ask a pregnant woman what does it feel to become pregnant.mst dia ckp mcm-mcm ada.sakit,pening,loya,nk muntah,hyperemesis(muntah terlalu kerap),letih,malas..u name it.semua ada.put the terible things aside,apart from those,mst rasa super happy+nervous when she found out there's a baby growing in the womb.pasti rasa superrrr excited when the baby starts kicking.then rasa terharu bila pergi scan dgr heartbeat and nampak how the lil one looks like in it's crib(at that time is the womb,still(hehe)then comes the dramatic part....childbirth.for 9months,all the pain and hardship were bearable but when the final battle starts,God knows how excruciating the pain is.the screaming,gassing or if intolerable sesangat...epidural.tapikan bila baby kuar,dpt tgok muka dia....hilang suma sakit.hilang semua letih bertarung nyawa seketika.even ingatan how the pain was pun poooff!just dissappeared!(the experience told by beloved mother and sisters) ngeeee!

samalah macam tgu mr fiance saya.6 bulan dahulu,when he got the call to sign on...i mcm kucing nk beranak.nervous,SAD...mixed feelings.at the same time i'm thankful that he still got a job to do and this means no delaying of his paychecks.ye lah,with all the living neccessities yang kena bayar,siapa tak risau kan.so off he went.haaa....masa tu i was struggling with my final year....the tension and stress yang sky high made things worse between us.bila dia anchor or masuk port,i pulak ada ward rounds,clinics,lecture,etc....bila i cuti,dia di tgh lautan la pulak.bila i smgt nk call,dia letih baru abes duty.bila dia plak nk chit chat,i pulak merajuk.haha.but he's always the cool one.try to be patient all the time.i macam api.thank god dpt partner camni.tp bila sesekali dpt call,chatting,skyping..mmg hati melompat2 tak cukup tanah.seronok sgt.pernah sekali i rasa nk nangis terharu sbb i dpt tgok muka dia thru skype sbb selalu we ol sembang je.tak pernah webcam.ada je masalah. :)) see these little things do matter for us yg peluang utk communicate sgt susah.dan during his last month onboard was the hardest.i barely lived my life counting the days lamanya lgi dia nk balik.susah nk convince myself i ada 4 to 3 to 2 weeks more before his time is up.the worst thing is when they delayed him from signing off.it's equivalent to a full-term mother with full dilatation still having full+frequent contractions(bukan brixton hicks dah ni) and yet the baby still refuse to come out.haaaa.mcm tu lah.tapi kan...bila dh tgok muka dia balik....rambut dia yg berubah sedikit...senyum dia...bau dia...suara dia...automatically i felt connected! i lupa semua.i lupa berapa kali i nangis sepanjang 6 bulan nie.i lupa berapa kali i promised myself tanak cakap dgn dia lagi.i juga lupa yang dah 6 bulan i tak jumpa dia.it's all worth it.well worth it!

waahhhh panjang gile i bebel kali nie.saje je.dah lama blog nie cam bosaaaan je content dia.hehe.and owh,how's ramadhan treating u guys?i rasa seronok sgt kali nie.i boleh berpuasa dan bertarawikh tanpa perlu mengira berapa hari lagi i kena balik dublin.definately the best feeling ever!dan setiap hari boleh text syir nak ucap selamat berbuka!hehe.alhamdulillah! :)))