Wednesday, March 31, 2010



just now while studying with aiza,for a split second i thought i was having dejavu.'hey,i was in this situation before,facing her and telling her risk factors of a disease and complications of another'.when thinking back,i've been doing this for years.everytime exam is approaching i would find myself talking to her like this.this is not a dejavu.this is a routine.yearly routine.and because i only do it yearly or half-yearly,it seems so far back in time that i perceived it as a dejavu.3weeks ++still counting.

currently the temp outside is 1 degree celcius.can u believe it?it's already 1st of april and yet the season still refuses to move was even snowing yesterday!i need a warmer!who not only warms my winter,but colors my spring,chills my summer and brighten my autumn... :D

 owh dearie syirspring,where art thou?

Sunday, March 28, 2010



it feels unfamiliar somehow to attend 'formal' lectures back.lecture days were long gone(it was 2 and a half year ago during my pre-clinical years).bukan nya tiada lansung kuliah dlm clinical years nie cuma byk lae buat practical dr pergi kuliah.but from tomorrow onwards,i'm going to lectures again.time to put on jeans and snickers again as love!tp 4 lectures in a day?pengsan!tetiba berkobar pulak.haha.hopefully tak hangat2 tahi ayam la this will be my final 4 weeks of lectures as a medical student insyaAllah(kalau i takyah repeat.ya Allah....mntalah i pass my final,ameen).how time flies yeah?i'm nearly done.heheh.UCDians 2010,skeeet jeeee laeeeee :))))

owh ya,smlm tunang i dh boleh msg2 thru fb dr nagasaki,nippon.bila tgok nama dia dok komen2 kat fb i mmg terubat lah rindu sket! kepada buah hati org kapal sekalian,selain msg2 thru celcom,maxis,digi etc yg akn charge rm2 setiap sms dr luar negara,diorang bleh activate facebook mobile and msg to your facebook inbox with just rm1 per week!(i agk xpercaya but i dh clarify dgn dia.nti i confirm balik) tp still,rate itu jauh lebih boleh la save duit sket nk bina masjid kan?keskes.what u need is a facebook account yow!(which i'm sure most of u guys ada)hehe.ada org dh pesan suruh i rajin update facebook ni.i will dear=)

3hb april nie dh 2 bulan la dia sign off.another 4 months to go.yeah,i boleh,i boleh!
tetiba rasa nk plan percutian extravaganza bila dia balik.incik syir,kemana kita?hehe.

bukit bendera.a week after i landed from dublin.well-planned!i suka(padahal kat penang je pun.ahaks!)

rightO!i nk titun.nite2!

Saturday, March 27, 2010



for the first time sumone gave me an award.
thanx a million nanie.u'r such a sweet mother-to-be :D
mesti tak sabar nak jumpa sechomel kan?

so,what do i do now?

Thank the person that gave you the award:
i just did

Pass this award onto 15 blogger you're recently discovered and think are fantastic:
i wanna give it to:
  • cik azie zainal
  • cik ain(tak lama lagi dh puan nie)
  • cik kerry
  • puan ena mazly
  • cik myra
  • cik farah galway
  • puan izan
  • puan yatt
  • cik a'a(hopefully she blogs again after this)
  • puan nurul mommy alya

yeah,that's about it.sikit sungguh list blog kat sebelah tu yer.nt msa blog hopping i nk ketuk2 rumah org.selalu jd silent reader je.actually segan dan agk malu tak bertempat.huhu

state 7things about you:
well,this is the hard avoid bias,i put it this way:
  1. my sister said i'm clumsy.100% agreed!
  2. my mum said i'm full of confidence when talking.erm..55%agreed.not all the time for sure.
  3. syir kata i chummel.haha.nie i tipu.he said i malas argument is sini sejuk ya demam klau mandi lebih dr sekali or 2x.
  4. i love cooking.bila i stress study i masak.bila masak i mkn.bila makan i put on weight.sbb tu tak kurus2.
  5. my bestfriend kai said i'm so girlish that he banned me from buying another pair of converse.syir totally agreed on this!i dunno why they both hate converse.huuu
  6. the whole bunch of my best friends kata i love pink.undeniable.more specific pink pokedots.
  7. kawan smp syurga kata i mcm iman dlm cerita sepi tu.i suka bercakap.i will keep on talking to my bf even if he wasn't listening,i will snap at people like she did in the train but the most important thing that i realized myself is i am a bit like her in lovey-dovey matter.loyal.but be warned,i might be flirty at times.keskeskes.
my one and only pair.dulu buruk,skrg dh cuci nmpak baru.heheh.pic snapped by jay baharin and taken from my previous blog~myILHAM~
hoh,there goes.a lenghty one.igtkan nk tulis pendek2 je.anyway,thanx again nanie.

on another side of the world,syir dh smp nagasaki.heeee....he dropped me a text at 3.45a.m and i was still sleeping.takpe,i bg chance dia jln2 dgn tenang.klau tak mst i kaco dia all the way.hehe.
have a good weekend folks=)

Friday, March 26, 2010

short but swit.

i'm hype.
~today is my last day with the surgical team,ENT(telinga,hidung dan tekak).i was with them for a week.besides the very kind intern,i have this super handsome kacak dan baik senior specialist juga.hish buat dosa je duduk dlm team nie sbb asek nak tgoook je dia cakap masa buat ward round =P kacak sungguh!(sori na mr fiance).lepas ni no more early mornings.hurrey!

~bilik intern on-call macam in wardrobe,katil dan ensuite with toilet and shower.i heard kat malaysia,pengudaraan pun tiada.tiada tingkap and double decker bed.takpe,houseman klau sakit baru bleh cuti.bagus2.onkol sehari,cuti 2-3 hari.owh haven.

~one of my team's patients is dying.she just had massive bleeding from the base of her tongue,due to oral/tongue cancer.i saw her husband walked in and sat down beside her and gave a few pats on her head.emotional btul tgok.huhu.she could be gone forever any time.

~and today is daffodil's day.
Daffodil Day on Friday 26th March is the Irish Cancer Society’s major fundraising day supporting cancer patient care and information services across the country. It’s a day for all of us to come together and pin a daffodil to the nation, giving hope and support to people affected by cancer in Ireland. 

~i hope syir smp jepun esok.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010



it's silly when we take silent treatment seriously for quite a while and by the end of the day u go nowhere but back into each other's words of comfort.silly.

offnote,it feels good when u have an eye-candy to look forward to every's worth the early mornings.



Tuesday, March 23, 2010

when u're scared.

just keep breathing.

medicine is cruel,at times.

medicine is cruel when a doctor is left facing the son telling him his father is dying and could be gone at any time.

medicine is cruel when the result of a biopsy is so devastating it hurts u for ordering it in the first place.

medicine is cruel when it sucked out the residual emphaties left in me

medicine is cruel for taking away my time and emotions needed to love and to be loved.

i think it's just cruel.

Monday, March 22, 2010



 i j'dore the style and whatever waves of fashion that currently hit the racks in those shops along o'connell and grafton st.the plated skirts,the lacy tops and straw hats and begs that are being displayed at the moment never failed to slow down my pace of fact i adore the color of this season to the max!i felt happy just by strolling along the shops.chronic nye penyakit nih.huhu. ahhhh..if only i got more money or being the third wife of the royal highness of brunei.(joking!).but life isn't solely about money and new clothes right?

cuma satu je benda i kena dpt dlm masa terdekat.with mei and june coming soon,i would be soooooooo grateful if i can get it a.s.a.p.nak click~click~click and sNap!sNap!sNap! masa jln2 nti and iAllah masa konvo.huuuuuuu............ishk bagaimana ye?(dlm hati kata maybe boleh beli time bila dh kerja nnti je.mmg takde lubang dah nk gali nk beli tu)sobs.

ok lah.stress je pk pasal bukan kebendaan semata-mata.

nite dearies =)

p/s:cik azie,may the force be with you and so do my prayers ;)

Friday, March 19, 2010



today is just too much.i was braved.i was positive.i was happy.

but today,i'm scared.i'm a pessimist.i'm un happy.

hug me and tell me,"it's ok.we'll go through it together".together.

that's all i want to hear.

Monday, March 15, 2010



i couldn't sleep.this sleepless state never fails to visit me every year,a few times.i guess he came knocking again.

the first day,i said go away please.

go to hell!i told him to leave again the next day.

i gave my come in but promise me dont stay for too long.because your stay here will invite another dreadful guest,depression.

i nak syir.
balik cepat.
i nak u.

Saturday, March 13, 2010



last night out of blue i felt like making pancakes from scratch.i googled the recipe and picked the easiest one.and to tell u the truth,i slept early so that i could get up early and well,make some pancakes for breakfast.i know it's ambitious and so,i had pancakes for brunch and early dinner instead of bfast.and i still have some batter left for tomorrow.what a pancake's day!whoorey!

 one looks like joker's face and apparently all of them appear to be more like roti canai than pancakes.

this is how u enjoy them.nuttella or honey.maple syrup is an alternative too!

i'm having sorethroat with mild temperature.forget the lemsip.i wont take them yet.they taste horrible!

i hope this will reach where it supposed to be just in time when syir arrives.8 years ago i wouldn't imagine myself to love someone this much.not even is not only blind,but it makes me broke too!haha.


Thursday, March 11, 2010

.south shields.


If you want more laugh,
why don't you say so.
heartbreak warfare
~john mayer

saya tengah cari satu gambar nie.tetiba jumpa gambar lain pulak..dh terlanjur jumpa sya pun nk buatlah cerita ttg gambar-gambar nie.mst ada antara korang yg pernah dgr tajuk di atas tu kan?ye tak lain tak bukan tempat kekanda-kekanda anda(wow,it ryhmes!) pernah belajar suatu msa dulu.xsilap i ada few batches yg dihantar ke enggine mostly.and i heard ada gak di sent ke tempat lain but that was earlier punya batch.south shields nie terletak dlm jajahan newcastle which is a part of united kingdom(UK).dekat dh dgn scotland.kira kat UK nie belah atas2 la.definately jauh dr london.area nie klau winter,pergh..kalah dublin kesejukan dia.smp demam2 i.hehe.

meh i bwk korg tour south shileds ni nak?

i pergi masa spring.cuti masa dalam metro(ala2 LRT yg connect airport dgn south shields nie)i tak igt dh how far this place from airport tp tak lama sgt la.less than an hour kot(org kapal yg tahu plis correct me if i'm wrong)abaikan caption tu ye.i lupa bila i buat tu.haha.tgok i cakar muka dia.=P.nope,i'm just joking here.jgn pk bukan2!

ni plak dh smp south shields.ferry-ferry itu adalah utk membawa penumpang ke north shields.haa...north shields ni kan mst buah-buah hati org kapal ni suka(termasuk la i) sebab di situ byaaaakk factory outlets.hehe.korang akn tanak balik bila smp sana.nak pi the other side cost us aorund 1-2pounds each.i ckp ngan syir murah gila.tgok-tgok dekaat je pun.tak sempat nk abes satu cerita dh smp.haha.

ini pulak dh smp north shileds.tak ambil pun gambar kedai-kedai kat sana.sibuk jln-jln window shopping.i beli sket saja sbb xmuat beg.kecik.nti i cerita kenapa beg kecik.the body shop punya brg mmg murah!by the time nk balik bru tringat nk amek gambar.

time ni nak tgu ferry ke south shields balik dah.=)

time nie angin masih sepoi-sepoi bahasa org cakap.hehe.mmg kawasan nie dekat laut.sesuai la dgn kerja diorang kan.hehe.

gambar nie di south shileds'town rasanya.i tak jln byk kat sini sbb kitorang kejar masa.ambil gambar je.i igt i beli a pair of gloves je kat furry gloves to match my outfit.

then bila dh ptg sket kitorang bergerak ke newcastle main city.malam dh time gambar kureng sket.huhu

 then we amek last metro off to the saya bawa beg kecil sbb saya tak bermalam proper pun.dia busy nk exam time ni.saya tak nak la kaco lama-lama.gerak dr dublin pg-pg buta.flite kul 6 pg rasanya.masa saya smp,syir xsmp lae.train plg awai belum start rasanya.haha.and jln-jln sehari suntuk then we actually stay kat airport smp the next morning for my flite back to dublin.borak-borak kat airport smlmn.=)msa nie 2-2 org pun muda je(skrg pun muda lae.hehe)duit tak byk dan selalu pokai(dia sbb saya selalu pujuk dtg dublin.saya kot.ahaks),student pulak tu=studi+exam.semua benda kena catu sbb nk jmpa each other punya pasal.mkn menda-menda kecik je pun.but we were so happy=)

saya tak jejak kaki pun kat college kesayangan diorang sbb time limited and college tu lelaki semua rasanya.susah nak sludup saya masuk haha.

masa kat newcastle nie kami mkn di chicken cottage.ala-ala marrybrown malaysia la.byak cawangan dia around UK.murah dan sedap.seswai la standard pelajar.bygkan betapa sedapnya chicken cottage nie masa di manchester,w'pun tempat nie penuh dgn mknan halal,kami tetap pengunjung setia chicken cottage.hehe.manchester lain hari cerita key.nt klau korang tringin nk dtg sini,ajk suami honeymoon.harap-harap misc bg bonus end of this yr.boleh la shopping kat sini.hehe.

okies.berjela pulak.harap-harap korang enjoy la baca.ayat cm skema sbb susah nk translate tanak bg rojak sgt.see,dh jd abc dh nie.=)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

pain revisited.


i have a joke to tell.but b4 that do understand this first.there are 2 heart sounds in normal healthy people.the first heart sound and the second heart sound.the first heart sound is due to the closure of mitral and tricuspid valves.the second one is due to closure of aortic and pulmonary valves but well they are not this simple.but for now,itu je yg penting.

Dr T******: "Ali,can you tell me what the two heart sounds are?"
Ali:"Lub Dub?!"

extracted from 2009 ucd yearbook

luckily Dr T****** is a neurologist not a cardiologist.i wonder what will happen if he's a cardio.dah kena sekeh kot.hahahah.

neurologist:doktor pakar saraf
cardiologist:doktor pakar jantung

for quite a while i've been looking for this song.i love one republic.i love their songs.i love the front man(ini harus).hehe.

click here for a better quality embed that here gives sore to my eyes.

and i love the masquerade ball.but it reminds me of venice.i never liked venice since the first visit except for the masquerade masks that were on sale everywhere jgn ajak i pi venice tok honeymoon.i tak suka

tomorrow i have a plan to date with available patient(s) in the hospital.

anyone interested?

offnote;i received both sms and email from the land of the rising but still not enough.i'm one hell of a greedy person.blame is never enough.

p/s:i just realized i dislike places that people go for!venice?!i guess the outer space would suit me best;p

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

perang testimonial.


actually i nak tulis perang testi kat atas i rasa cam geli-geli.haha.abaikan.

yearbook's comittee dah screaming suruh hantar testi nak letak dlm yrbook nti.kira every student ada slot dlm 250words utk describe diri sendri.takkan nk puji/kutuk ownself pulak we r free to ask anybody to write about us.dah la sebuah 50euro=rm230++.mahal kan?tp itulah kenangan nk bg ank cucu baca nak tak nak kena la beli.pastu kena amek gambar semula.ala-ala gambr passport.dulu dh amek.tgh senow lae masa tu.semua org try nk keep the snow flakes on their head msa amek gambar sbb wah gila la kan w'pun amek gambar indoor.haha.sekali kena re-take daa.xpa,ada chance nk pkai tudung best nie.hehe.i swap testi wif few of my best friends.sng cerita.hehe.takut juga tulis testi nie sbb menda nie org akn baca smp ank cucu kan.huhu.feel free to edit ye kwn2.i tak kecik hati lah.promise=)

i rasa isomnia i dah dtg balik.susah nk tido plak lately.tak pukul 2,pukul 3 pagi.boleh main pukul brapa datuk harimau? dulu lah kiranya baru boleh lelap.

dan harini tiada email dr laut juga.hurm...apa boley buat.this is not compulsory but depends on's like a coin toss.i might get lucky,i might not.


Monday, March 8, 2010

off-white or pink?


tarik nafaaaaassss.....dan hembusss...fuuuuhhhh...da tatahan nk kena stadi menda yg byk ni.mcm mkn panadol.sekali telan,kena hirup air untuk nk buang kepahitan rasa dan nk makesure ia terhadam.maslahnya studi nie bukan sebijik panadol.bygkan berbotol-botol panadol yg nk ditelan.tak boleh telan semua sekaligus.kena one by one or two at most.nti tercekik.rasa lepas grad nie i igt nk kawen n nk jadi surirumah je.sbb geram belajar teruk sgt.bgi cik abg je time abg belayar cheq nak buat apa?melangut sorang2 kat rumah???(syir kata dia rasa tua klau i pgil dia abg, no~no~no.nk bg ayt dramatik je tu.i rasa lepas kawen i nk pgil dia nama je.i rasa sweet that way=)rasa forever young.dh le sebaya).esok or lusa syir maybe smp jepun.i nk ngadu i tringin nk mkn pau kacang merah dan kaya.huhu.i xkira hri dh bila dia nk smp port sbb tup-tup-tup dia sms kta dia dh smp jepun/bintulu.6 hari je slalunya in btween ports.sbb tu i suka kapal ni.dh 3consecutive trips he's on the same ship.bila i tnya dia xbosan ke?dia kata as long as senang nk keep in touch dgn i dia xkesah =) hohoho.

korang jgn lemas plak bila i asek cerita pasal syir je.skrg nie studi agk stress tok divert i dr terlalu stress i kena find topics that wat i happi sket by the end of the i akn update blog nie just sblum tido.lgpun i rsa i'm not being fair to him all this while.xbyk i cerita pasal dia.i tahu dia bca blog i dlu.but skrg i tak tahu.i rasa dh jrg sbb i xslalu include dia dlm ni =( that doesn't mean u r not important dear.cuma i malu-malu kucing nk disclose cerita bout us.lgpun dulu masih kawan-kawan lagi.i takut apa-apa jd.not that i don't trust you.skrg i rasa kukuh.the relationship and us =) dan bila i tgok2 balik entry lama,they remind me of good and bad things in the past.yg bad tu i tanak amek port sgt.yg good tu mmg kbyakkan i lupa dan bila baca balik i akn senyum my hope is when i gado-gado dgn dia in future,what i wrote now about him akn dpt menyejukkan hati i balik time tu(hopefully gado manja le ye:P)

tdi terbuka websites ttg baju i takut nk bukak lama2 sbb lambaat lae i nk kawen.bila igtkan duit dlm bank tu laeeee buatkan i rasa tak layak pun nk berangan.sobs='(

p/s:colors kat atas tu bukan bju kawen la.bju lain.hihik.

Sunday, March 7, 2010



hari ini dublin bright and sunny.unfortunately,suhu masih rendah  sama seperti hari-hari sebelum,cuma sedikit warm dek cahaya matahari.since bukan senang nk cerah dan klau nk tgu panas mmg berjanggut,,saya pun keluar berjln2 sbb dr hari isnin terperuk kat rumah je.otak pun lembab je.byk sale time skrg..biasalah nk masuk spring dh kan.tersangkut juga la saya tops sehelai dua.less than 15euro for 2.bley la kan.ihiks yg plg menarik adlh satu adegan dramatic ketika sya mnunggu bas pulang.ketika sdg leka memerhati sorg budak lelaki nie bergurau dgn ayhnya smbl berdiri dlm kesejukan tetiba seorang mamat A nie trus menerpa ke arah seorang passer by B dan hampir dipukul nye passer by B nie.msa dia tolak si mamat B nie,both of them langgar si budak 4 tahun nie(agak2 la umurnya)naseb baik girlfren si A td menarik tgn boyfriendnya dn meredakn kemarahan mamat A nie.klau tak,kecoh sbb nk berlawan hampir kena saya.kecut perut sekejap.

teori saya:
1-man B cuba mengorat gf si A di hadapannya.B-O-D-O-H
2-si A dan gf nya adalah dr eastern europe.sama ada pekerja atau tourist tak dpt eastern europe kat dublin nie macam indon kat malaysia theory ke 2 adalah si B yang mmg irish pure nie telah mengeluarkan kata2 hinaan kepada couple nie mcm saya kena kdg2...sesetgh irish nie ketinggalan zaman sket.suka hina org asing.klu tak sbbkan foreigner,naik basikal lae kot kebanyakkan mereka nie.huhu.tak sedar diri.

spnjg dlm bus sya berfikir,klu saya si gf A,apa yg saya buat ye?hehe.nk masuk campur si gf A nie mmg berani,dia pi cool down kan bf dia yg mmg sah2 nk bg penumbuk dah kat mamat B tu.jenuh juga si gf nie tarik-tarik tgn bfnya untuk stop.and then plg murni,si gf ni actually pi apologize kepada si bapa budak nie and pujuk2 budak itu sbb terkena dia td.

tetiba tringat kejadian di newcastle dulu.msa tu syir tgh nk ambil gambar saya depan st james park stadium.masa tu bru lepas match newcastle vs MU.tetiba ada a gp of 2 or 3 locals dtg and trus mntak nk ambil gambar ngan saya.but they asked my permission dulu la.saya pun dgn senang hati kata"sure,of course u can!".dengan tak disangka-sangka,mereka terus peluk saya kiri-kanan utk bergmbr.speechless sekejap.lepas tu photographer saya pun fired lah"adake patut awak cakap'sure of course u can!'sedap le kena peluk".haha.pada masa tu saya lansung tak terpk yg tukang amek gambar tu boyfriend sendri.keskeskes.satu hal plak nk explain+pujuk incik syir.hehe.but he's very diplomatic.hehe.sekejap je selesai.

sebelum kejadian.hehe.pic by ah wong.

Saturday, March 6, 2010



hari ini adalah hari dunia kelihatan sgt indah.belom.belom lagi nk cerita pasal email dr laut.dengar nie dulu.malam ni saya berjaya menyiapkan first draft untuk ke 4-4 essay berkenaan elective atau practikal di malaysia winter yg lepas.these essays were long overdue,pardon me.tarikh last submission ialah next friday cuma mereka boleh di siapkan 3 weeks ago this is not something to be proud of but enough to make me happy.tomorrow i  just need to finalise the word count and print them out.

so mari nyanyi lagu fireflies nie ramai-ramai sbb lagu nie buat i happy.selain penyanyi nya yg sgt lah kawaaaaaaaaaaeeeeeeeeeiiiiiii,me myself would like to believe this planet earth turns slowly.kehkehkeh.

okeh selepas menyanyi,tibalah masa untuk senyum smp telinga.saya dah trima email dr laut.ptg td =) owh angau betul la pun nk kecoh kan?tapi itu buat saya happi.betul-betul happi.whatever makes me happi is important!geddit?tak,bukan nk cari gaduh,saja je clarify things.hehe.

i wished i could spread the happi aura to all people around me and readers too.make my wish come true,will ya?simple je,be happi too!:)

and today,for the first time we organized a babyshower for our dear classmate.nie celebration untuk ibu mengandung dengan men'shower'baby wif prezzies.colourful event and very fun 25,she's a wife,30weeks preggie and going to become a doctor soon.happy kan?for pictures click here courtesy of ms aizagreendaisy

dah 3 pg.i tido dulu key.takut bgun 3 ptg plak ntii.toodle!

p/s:i nak baby boy.sbb i akn sejuk perut kalau dia dpt chromosome Y yg sama dgn syir dan jd lelaki yg penyabar seperti dia.tgi sgt ke angan2 i?wawawa!

Friday, March 5, 2010



dah lama tak tak rasa begini.rasa indah waktu nk tido.berbaloi dan layak untuk pejam mata.the last time i felt this way masa kat matrik dulu.blajar,blajar dan blajar je kerjanya.distractions xbyk.internet takde,walkman guna battery besar tu lae yg mmg takleh replace selalu bla habes.duit plak dlm blik tv yg jauh ya amat.boyfriend pula...erm,kami masih dlm mengenal hati budi.cheewah.msa tu still keep professional la kunun kan.kan incik syir?ahaks.poyo.kelas dr 7.40pg smp 5ptg.balik,smbg lae smp 12 mlm.wktu tu tutup buku, solat dan bila baring tu...nikmat btul.takde golek2 dah.trus zaaappp ke alam mimpi.

skrg dah mlas.asek berpoya-poya je kerjanya.bila mlm-mlm sblm tido mst rsa bersalah sbb hari xproductive.xbest btul.takde kepuasan bila nk tido.huhu.nk maintain the same pace blajar mcm dulu mgkin kna pakai pacemaker kot.haha.apa-apa pun alhamdulillah,tuhan bg rsa balik nikmat cam dulu w'pun skali-skala.

harini anxious betul la.tak dak email dr laut.slalunya tak pernah miss everyday dpt.satu-dua ayt pun baca ulang2 yg tu dr start dpt smp ke mlm.dh kantoi kan.ahaks.takpe,tak kisah dah.mmg yg itu je kena sayang kan? :)

ok lah.nk titun.supaya cepat pagi menjelma dan hopefully bekalan ubat saya untuk senyum juga sampai.

nite semua.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010



i have good news!syir has been onboard for a month already!hohoho!good to know right? :) 5months left and still counting.i just noticed this while fixing the daisypath tickers before midnight just today,he's a month and a day working hard on the ship.syian the moment he must be floating away on south china sea i would say as his tanker just departed from bintulu yesterday.tetiba rasa nak nyanyi "row,row,row ur boat!"hehe.he reminded me last weekend in one of his emails on how fast time flies that he's nearly a month being away from me.i, on the other hand is totally disagree when he used the word'fast' as an adjective sbb saya rasa lamaaaaanyerrrr sebulan baru!huhuh!plus lately our communications has to be limited due to my circumstances as a final year medical student.that's how our relationship is from the beginning.he would leave me alone to study in peace when exam's around the corner.tapikan,saya nie main-main.klau ada curfew on phone calls or chatting mst tak ikut sgt.but when he's sitting his final exam in the UK dulu,mmg he refused to waste his time like calls dr everyday trus cut down once a week saja(best gila dulu call UK-Ireland free!hari-hari bley gayut!).separuh gila jugak la org kat sini.haha.but i know he always concerns and being extra cautious about my studies because as evryone knows,medicine is difficult all around.mungkin juga klau saya sgkut(God forbid laa),lg lambat la ehem-ehem.haha.joking!erm.......................................................i miss him.i guess i have to be patient.another 2 months and i'll b free and he's definately looking forward to that moment too!

and talking about my studies,cuba tgok kat ticker sebelah....hehe.lagi 3 jd 2 bulan++ nk graduate!tp sebelum graduate kena exam dulu.ya Allah,ngeri tau pk nk exam dlm sibuk2 study sempat saya mem'booking'tickets tok berjalan2 masa cuti nti.this time my family will join yours truly.really can't wait.i think all of us will be backpackers soon.mana taknya,i will start jumping airports soon.haha.and jika ada rezeki,i'll be celebrating my silver jubilee buffday this year somewhere else pulak.this is gonna be fun!=D

cheapo ticket-hunting activity nie mmg mengeluarkan byk adrenaline dan menyebabkan saya masih alert w'pun dh 2.30 pg.okies,i need to force myself to sleep.esok nk bgun suboh.hehe.


p/s:korang ada idea tak nk bg apa klau nk anta parcel kat bf/tunang/suami di atas kapal tu?dh kering idea pk.

last year i celebrated my buffday with aiza and Eiffel.this year?we'll see.heee

Monday, March 1, 2010



i couldn't stand this anymore.looking at the illustrated man's private anatomy and reading about what can go wrong with it makes me wanna puke!(no offence guys,it's just my automatic neurological reaction towards thousands of words need to be read that give me the nauseous feeling!).

yes,this is my second for today.look at what day-offs can do to my blog.more frequent entry,it's not the matter of lack of input then,it's the matter of lack of time!no? =)

anyway,i cried hard enough today that i think not even a drop left in my tear ducts(exeggerated!).i've been having this labile mood for the past few days where i got easily irritated and even small matters make me wanna cry a not tough!(bak kata my friend back home,ahaks)could it be delayed PMS?depression(nauzubillah!) or maybe march is approaching?yes,why march?i dislike march.if only i could eliminate march from the gregorian calendar,then i would.why again?it's still crystal clear in my mind on st patrick's day 2008 we were happily marching to see the parade,wearing almost green from head to toe,taking pictures with whatever passed us by that day.what i didn't know is that was the last day i still have someone to call a father because i lost him the very next day. there goes the solid reson why i detest march.come march,my mind will automatically start counting to the 18th subconciously eventhough i tried very hard to surpress.i always pray i'll forget the's not that i purposely want to forget someone once so dear to me and someone who sacrificed his everything to raise me's just the thought of it is so painful that its severity is greater than any pain i've ever felt physically.last february i braved myself again visiting his final resting place.this is most probably the hardest action that i have to take  because even the sight of his batu nisan froze me and immediately,saya rasa sebak dan pedih dalam dada.i couldn't even talk,i barely stood on my feet and my true feeling was i want to cry my lungs out like a child at that's so deep in me that regretted i wasn't there with my mum and my sister to share the tears,the sorrow that heavily burdened them or at least see his face for the last time.i still remember i was confuse,emotionless and still in denial when they showed me where his final resting place was for the first time.for a few mins i didn't know what to heart was saying this couldn't be true!he's somewhere on the road working.but i didn't shed a tear.....i guess it's all bottled up till now that i slowly feel his abscence especially when i needed  a dad's advice.

maybe i have yet to come to term that he's not coming back anymore.......

p/s;i'm going to be ok.thanx to someone who's concerned bout me regarding the last post.luv u.

like the rain


sometimes what we need to do is just cry....

and we'll be fine.