Friday, December 25, 2009



i think i'm just gonna let this jetlag win over funny to wake up at this odd hours and later sending a telepathy message to the other half saying "i'm awake now,plis call"and he did.aha.he's funny too for waking up at 3.30am to drop me a msg expecting me to be wide awake which i was!see,we both funny.

i hope my cortisol would find her rhythm back.give me my beauty sleep back please=(

punca jet lag.

Thursday, December 24, 2009



after long winding hours and bumpy rides,i'm safe and sound at home.when the warm gush of wind swept my face,i knew i'm back in penang,the place that i'm always in love with.and now my current favourite word is landing.i dunno how many times i heard this word for the last 3 days.and i think i'm in the worst jetlag ever.feeling like sleeping 24 hours and unfortunately my eyes show.but i'm still amazed how i survived the triple flights,the delays,the snow,the low temperature and whatnots.

the feeling of seeing my brother and my little nephew waiting at the departure gate is beyond words as always.the huge sense of relief is the best feeling ever.and what i got for myself the next day is faboulously beautiful=)

and another favourite moment, not another sandwich or nasik goreng perencah.

i'm supposed to meet mrs lune on wed but she has had a meeting to attend to which is totally understandable considering the last minute plan and such.but i do hope we can meet up someday and maybe with more bloggers as well(such as org tg malim*hint..hint*)hehe.

and i think i couldn't get enough hugs from mak and kakak.what a joy!:)))))

the joy of coming home is synergised by the news of my niece who has done extremely brilliant in her PMR.i think i just found someone who's going to inherite my medical kitabs that i'm glad to get rid of.(meaning tak sabar nk grad and habes belajar la ni.master pikir kemudian=P).i'm so proud of you!

okie dokie,
before i sign off,to my housemate,ms sarah marilyn amin and anyone who celebrate christmas,happy christmas!

dh lama takdak gambar camni.layan je lah eh?heeeee

Saturday, December 19, 2009

calling for passengers of malaysia airlines MH001.



i'm smiling from ear to ear now.what else is better than feeling free after exam and counting days to go home?hujan batu di negeri org,hujan emas di negeri sendri.mmg hujan batu indeed!2days ago.i dengaq bunyi hujan yg maha dahsyat dr dlm bilik i.mmg hujan batu pun.and it was snowing the whole day yesterday.isn't it awesome?!perhaps irish will get what they're wishing for,a white christmas.but when it's snowing,we know we need extra piece of clothes underneath the thick-already-warming jacket to fight the cold.but hey,i'm going home to enjoy the warm sunny climate.gorgeous!=)so get ur sunnies ready ms jeem and let's sunbathing!heheh.

anyway,lately mmg i ada author's block.hence the absence of any post for a while.and i was caught up with exams too.and i'm super lazyyyy.

okies.enough for today.i think i need to go's sunny outside and darkness is creeping in soon.i better hurry!


Saturday, December 12, 2009

yet like a child i yearn for you.


tonight has been wonderful.had delicious dinner.being with great people.watching great programme on telly(X factor UK)

and being in love


to you.yes you,the one having white superman tee that i love!

Tuesday, December 8, 2009



i want something.a change.i'm bored.i'm tired.and worst,i'm stuck!

please,please,please do something.before i give up.

Five for Fighting - Superman (It's Not Easy) (Official Music Video) - For more of the funniest videos, click here

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
I’m just out to find
The better part of me

I’m more than a bird…I’m more than a plane
I'm more than some pretty face beside a train
It’s not easy to be me.

I wish that I could cry
Fall upon my knees
Find a way to lie
About a home I’ll never see

It may sound absurd…but don’t be naive
Even heroes have the right to bleed
I may be disturbed…but won’t you concede
Even heroes have the right to dream
And it’s not easy to be me.

Up, up and away…away from me
Well it’s all right…You can all sleep sound tonight
I’m not crazy…or anything…

I can’t stand to fly
I’m not that naive
Men weren’t meant to ride
With clouds between their knees

I’m only a man in a silly red sheet
Digging for kryptonite on this one way street
Only a man in a funny red sheet
Looking for special things inside of me
inside of me ...... inside of me ...ya inside of me... inside..of me

I’m only a man in a funny red sheet
I’m only a man looking for a dream

I’m only a man in a funny red sheet

It’s not easy ... wu.. hoo.. hoo..
It’s not easy to be.. me...

Monday, December 7, 2009

delirious december.


december marked so many things unforgettable.

let's put the sad things behind.that's how we live life,at least in my opinion.

today,i submitted my i ngantuk super smlm tidoq 4 jam ja.

to mak and kakak.happy belated buffday and i love u loaddsss!these wishes was written a few times for the last few days.but due to my anxiousness of writing the 2000-2500 words public health essay,i had to put the entry on hold.lepas tu mcm biasa la.trus basi.may both of you have a wonderful years u both infinity.muaaahhhssss!we'll celebrate the triple buffdays when i'm home okay.mira,ur time will come nanti maksu wish lain k.hehe.

owh tak sabar mahu balik.i told my housemate i nak start packing from now.i tak sabar gila.tolong lah cepat.terbayang2 muka mak and kakak.eeeee.....!

tgok nie....mcm mana tak tergedik2 nak balik klau boleh manja tak hengat dunia ngan depa nie?

Friday, December 4, 2009



her beauty never fails to amaze me.simple bodily features yet attractive!and she's married to coldplay's frontman!some women just born with extra luck.



:i just missed my flite.and it feels like sh*t.

:my uncle just passed away and the body will be brought to my house for preparations for the funeral to take my beautiful auntie,be strong;at least for your children.they need u the most now.i still remember how all my strength had been swallowed up at the moment i found out that my dad was gone forever and it's from my mother that i gathered some strength (eventhough not much left in hers at that time) that still hold me from falling deeper and deeper with grief.i couldn't talk,i couldn't think and there's no tears's painful.but Allah knows best.for everything that happened,He knows best.

:on a brighter note,i got all weekend to myself.essay to finish up and a pile of laundry waiting to be done.but right now,i'm all cosy and warm underneath the long as i'm still breathing easily,nothing major to complain about and life goes on.

gud nite dublin.


Tuesday, December 1, 2009

time for toblerone.


dublin is in freezing state, started a couple days ago with temperature ranging from -2 in the morning to 2 in the evening.owh come on!it's not even mid december yet! far as i remember,the weather was still tolerable at this time for the past 6 years.however,it is not the same this year.too early even for us to prepare.luckily i'm going home in 3 weeks time,or less?owh didn't i tell you yet?yes,i'm going home for christmas,hohoho.not that i'm celebrating it or anything like that,it's just for the first time i have the opportunity to go back during winter and celebrate new year at home with my loved ones's definately a sweet escape from this cold unpredictable weather.heeeeee*big grin*.but on the other hand,i'll miss christmas here and worse,the boxing day!!!!!eventhough boxing day here is not as grand as in the UK,still the massive reductions on pretty much everything is worth the cold and the rainy days.hahah.on another note,the christmas preparations have already started with chrismas songs been playing in the malls and shops and the huge white christmas trees are standing tall near the spire.tapi masuk mall takleh lelama sebab barang2 suma all nicely wrapped as comes the sad part for a girl who broke(but still want to shop like crazy)because they are freaking tempting to my naked eyes!!!!huhuh!

anyway,i try my best to save some moolahs as i need them in malaysia for my hols.but a big triangle of toblerone wouldn't hurt aight?=)(toblerones are very cheap during christmas season!)nyum..nyum..

time for toblerone.

Saturday, November 28, 2009



aku seperti kelkatu,
menunggu malam untuk bertemu,
menghadap siang yang penuh liku,
dengan harapan setinggi gunung,
menyapa bulan cantik sinarnya.

mahu saja aku beradu sepanjang hari,
agar bila celik sahaja mata ini,
walaupun gelap gelita makna malam itu,
bulan,kau cerah kan ia,
kau taburkan cahaya,
kau bawa pergi duka.

tatkala bila kamu kembali,
malam aku menjadi siang,
penuh warna selain cahaya,
mimpi aku tiada lagi yg ngeri
bersama sayap aku terbang,
menari-nari di langit malam.

mimpi sahaja itu semua.
aku masih membuka mata,
bersama suram mentari senja,
bersama dingin angin menyapa muka,
bersama penantian yang tak kunjung tiba.

benarkah kamu telah kembali?
kerana aku masih mencari,
masih aku gagal jejaki,
kalau ada pun cahaya mu bulan,
samarnya ia dilindung awan,
suramnya ia dikekang malam.

jangan biar kelkatu itu terbang,
pulang ke sarang dengan tangisan
kerana belum tentu bulan yang menjdi pujaan,
akan tegar menjadi sebutan,
agar terus kekal dalam ingatan,
jikalau air mata menjadi teman,
hati dan perasaan menjadi taruhan.

just feeling a lil bit melancholy tonight.

good nite dublin.

Monday, November 23, 2009

pre-exam rambling.


first of all,this entry not gonna be a nice one.
so,bear with me.

i have to 2 cases to present to my was done this afternoon.another one tomorrow.for the 1st one,adaka patut suruh fill in the marks kawan2 di malaysia,studying abroad nie selalu buat we all "shok" klau buat tak berapa bagus pun,nak markah penuh bubuhla"i did excellent!".tp takkan la nak tick mcm tu depan tutor?haha.

another thing i just realized is my exam gonna be on raya double malang hokey.dah la exam,raya haji pulak tu.sikit pun tak raya,kami dok dupdapdupdap nak OSCe(kira oral exam la).so beware sesiapa yg nak studi oversea nie,things like this is inevitable.selalu raya tak penah lae time exam,kelas tu biasa la kan.huhu.terkejut bonda i kat kg bila cakap exam susah on 27th nov.sedih btul i akn makesure i pass this exam sbb nk berbaloi kan whatever shit ni.teringat tahun bila ntah pagi raya haji,org pakai smart2 baju melayu bagai,me and the geng sebok tarik beg nak tgu bus ke airport nak pi switzerland.dah la bus stop depan masjid.kantoi.haha.lupa trus raya haji bila time tu.

skrg down btul la.rasa kurang kasih syg jauh,boyfriend lagi la.sekarang sorang2,and time exam nie la nk demam,batuk, sakit tekak segala.mak knows better sebab anak dia selalu akn sakit b4 exam.klau kat malaysia dulu,bila nak exam mak and akak mst dtg lawat sbb is either i'm sick or just to boost my spirit up.bawak pi mkn sedap2 and bg kata peransang yang takda org lain boleh bg.semangat btul nk siapa kata study kat malaysia bosan or study oversea ni best.if di malaysia,semua within reach.seb baik kawan2 baik2 semua org pun sebok nak exam kan.very understandable!i hope things get better once the exam finish.

oklah,i tanak melalut kata complaining nie tak membantu unless we do something to improve things.wish me luck ye poeple.i just want to pass.

Friday, November 20, 2009

marry me?

the title has nothing to do with me.and nope,incik ichigo hasn't pop up the Q yet.u'll figure out soon why i put this thing up.

besides skipping lectures and tutorial,there's another inappropriate thing (considering psychiatry exam is 6 days away)i did today!owh i really hate to tell u this but i already watched new moon people!(berlagak gila.hihi)i wont say a word about the movie because if i'm not careful enough,even a word could be a mouth sealed i can sit the exam at ease.hihi.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

.happy birthday.


happy birthday incik ichigo ku.

saya doakan anda sihat,gembira dan dirahmatiNya selalu.ameen.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

beauty attracts beauty.


i picked the title above from the book i'm reading now,eat pray love by elizabeth gilbert.i don't know why but i just couldn't agree more with that's not about me perasan's not about the the girl next door who just got hitched to a tall,dark and handsome's about all of's about our inner self that influence the choice of our least that's what i believed in.if i want someone yang baik,i have to be one.if i nak yang slim dan steady maybe i kena work out from now at least sebelum i start kerja sbb nt bz ya amat and lepas tu maybe i dah nak kawen sesangat=D(i'm only joking here!)haha.

so to incik ichigo,please forever be the way you are because never in my dreams i could be your beauty like i am now,in reality.

a handful + one.and still counting.


Bon Anniversaire mon chéri~



offnote:rindu nak sambung balik french class.

Saturday, November 14, 2009

the balloons,i love.


hye people.mind the frequent entries for the last couple of days.i think i'm having manic attack of blogging.ha.ha.(now jeem is using all the psychiatric jargon that she could think of just to make u guys puzzle?!bad jeem.bad jeem)

manic attack ni klau dalam bahasa sakit mentalnya adalah apabila seseorang tu hyper/terlalu bersemangat yang keterlaluan.sbg contoh:dia akn buat segala kerja dlm satu hari tanpa perlu tidur,bercakap tanpa henti dan bercerita tentang keupayaan luarbiasa beliau seperti boleh membina kapal terbang atau pun ayat yang paling senang adalah seperti beliau berada di puncak dunia(i'm on top of the world!semuanya boleh!)selalunya keadaan ini akn berselang seli dengan episod kemurungan atau hypomania(bersemangat tinggi tetapi tidak seteruk manic)

ok back to today's topic.yesterday i got a chance to watch happy.i'd been wanting to watch this movie for ages.i still remember i was all excited in malaysia during summer for the movie premier.ended up the first day of its release was a day before puasa.i kept pestering my sister to go and watch with me but suddenly my mum wanted to tag along and of course that night tak boleh since she would be in the i have to cancel the plan to respect the holy month of ramdhan.well,no regret because i watched already and as expected,any movie from disney-pixar is brilliant as always!=)i think ellie and mr fredricksen is a shw-eeeet couple.and to grow old together with our loved ones is everyone's dream.when i was a kiddo,i always dreamt of my house attached to thousands of colorful balloons and just floating away exactly like in the seriously.usually cartoons are for kids(duh,mmgla kan)tp this one i think suits adults better as it contained moral values that is lacking in most movies nowadays.

another movie that i managed to watch in between weeks of psychiatry was AN EDUCATION.this movie is simple.based on novel by nick hornby(i've read one of his,but half way.maybe i was quite young at that time)it tells a story of this brilliant and talented secondary school girl who's dreaming of attending oxford to read english(language).her father is potrayed as a strict but caring father figure who wants the best for his daughter.she's doing well at school and well-liked by her peers.but the sun doesn't always shine.she was lured into another life by this one playboy who showered her with luxuries and love.this is when the importance of education and the power of love and keseronokan dan kekayaan sementara all mixed know what happen to this girl?kena la tgok.i love the setting of the movie,the accent they speak and 50-60's era=) but on top of that,this movie gave me insights on how VERY IMPORTANT education is and now i knew why my late father was veryyyyy strict when it comes to studies!this movie is indeed an eye-opener not only to teenagers but to all women generally.

offnote:aura membuat essay terbawak-bawak ke blog,hence the lengthy one this time.

Thursday, November 12, 2009



owh senangnya dalam hati.essay ku sudah siap.*let's sing together girls*hehe

hari ini so many things usual,there are good and bad things.for the good ones,i could never thank God enough for those.and for the bad ones,there's lotz to learn from them.sometimes we feel happy for no reason.and the same thing goes to sadness.(*owh apalah yang i merepek ni kan*hehe).

having learn psychiatry at the moment, even unstable emotion has its if you're feeling low(in terms of mood),no energy,lost appetite,losing weight and slowly losing interest in what u've been enjoying before(such as hobbies;ps3,wii,watching tv,golf,fishing,sex?yes,sex!),cannot sleep(tetiba jd early riser or u spend hours golek-golek atas katil) please seek help.this is not about stress's DEPRESSION!(owh don't be scared by the capital letters word which i shouldn't caps lock in the first place=P).this is just a phase of mental illness that shouldn't be creeping on you for the rest of your life.go seek help.pi clinic.forget the stigma ttg penyakit gila whatthe crap.this is about you,love yourself!go tell the doctor what u feel,since when this thing happen and the difficulties u'r facing in your daily life.iA,the doctor will tell you what to do.always remember that depression is just a phase of life that has its's not a life-long condition(it will be if u ignore treatment).so friends and foes,i know there are lotz of people who are having depression out there.please..please..come forward.tell your friend.tell your spouse.tell your's not your fault to be depressed.

dun let depression eat you slowly inside.

and say NO to commit suicide(GOD forbid!)

done with kerja kebajikan.u know when u learn something and u don't spread it around,it becomes a now i can give a *b......i.....g* sigh=)

next paragraph is mushi-mushi if u nk termuntah baca sila angkat kaki(i mean it).

~haritu incik ichigo kata dia ermmm........rindu i.
~i balas i rindu nak gaduh-gaduh manja la kan ngan dia.(gosh i lupa la the last time we gaduh.lama gila lah and the funny thing is lepas berdamai mst rsa 100x lae syg.haha)
~yesterday we fought and today we made peace.
~owh sangat tidak cool and hati berdarah gaduh nie rupanya.(see,dh lama smp lupa rsa dia)
~and next time klau dia ckp the same thing,i nk jwb mee too more jwpn merepek luar sedar.
~moral of the story:be careful for what u'r wishing for.

cerita tamat.

owh i lupa cerita baru di penang.
kat penang dah ada hard rock cafe+hotel.
lambatnya i baru tau.
kat ipoh ada ke? *senyum jahat* (=

offnote:tak sabar nak tgu 16hb.i think i wanna buy myself a bunch or roses,to celebrate.heeee....

Wednesday, November 11, 2009



my L arm is more sore than the R.i got 2 japz today.the beauty of being medical students is we got the priority of being vaccinated earlier than ..well,non-patients and non-hospital staffs.hehe.the two are H1N1 and seasonal influenza's normal during winter for the influenza virus to get bersyukurlah penduduk di negara least u saved yourself from reccurent bouts of flu=)and regarding H1N1 tu,ireland slow sket nak develop pandemic baru skrg depa nk kelam kabut amik precautions what bagus jugak.balik mesia takyah pk pasal H1N1 nie dah.
saya kebal.cheewah.hehe

selain tangan sakit.hati pun sakit juga.

the soreness will go does the heartache.i hope.

okies.kena wat essay 1200 perkataan nie.i need psychiatrist here.bukan dh mereng tapi tolong wat essay sat.hehe.


Tuesday, November 3, 2009



kumbang saya dah balik.



welcome home!



last week had been hectic.not only i went down the country again for another peripheral rotation,me and dearest friends also had a good time dressing up for halloweeeeen!quick bits of what happened last week:

navan,co meath.
i'm calling this place bandar koboi.seriously it's small and still developing although it takes only about an hour from dublin by 9am,the shops still closed and it was quiet and very traffic and less people walking around at first i thought i was walking on public BnB(bed and breakfast=some sort of accomodations that available in ireland besides hostel and hotel.price is in between hotel and hostel.inclusive of breakfast hence the name)is so nice.bilik dia mcm nak honeymoon.katil dia besar dan tinggi benaq kena lompat sket untuk reminds me of my late grandma's bed.ala syle dulu2 tu.minus the tiang.hehe.

the bed

carpeted WC

tempat layan blues.haha.

tp bilik sebegitu tidak menggembirakan hati sgt sbb the location alahai jauh gila.45mins jalan dr hospital.pastu cuaca buruk dan sejuk.pastu kena stopped dgn van yang ala2 nak kidnap dan rape masa otw balik BnB dr clinic.huwaaaa.mmg trauma igt2 balik.balik BnB trus masuk selimut sbb takut ya amat.unpleasant memories altogether.i hope this is my last peripheral getting sicker to always have to go down the country.honestly i tak suka.enough said.

first time ever i was involved in halloween.selalu tgok je irish pakai costumes pelik2.this yr,one of my housemates suggested we dress up as whatever we could think of and gather at smithfield(jay's and fido's).the costumes were all either borrowed or owned by we don't spend.well if yang spend pun less than 10euro.but what matter the most is everyone really put efforts in making halloween a blast and the best part is everyone was shocked seeing each other with their costumes on.and by looking at the end result.......mmg semua org buat all-out.impressive!unfortunately i don't have enough pictures to prove my words sbb most pics in my digi cam turned out blurred.sila check my facebook if anyone interested lah.ini gambar yang kureng blur.

on the way to smithfield.pit stop:temple bar to watch halloween parade.ended up we yang parade.we felt like celebrities due to non-stop camera flashes and never-ending sounds of shutter(shutter bunyi eh?erk?!) my beloved housemates(the sweet gyspy,the scary joker,the kawaii japanese student and an exotic geisha)with darth vader and owh-the-light-saber!:P

the black clan.

i love this picture the made me laugh=D

i think my hands are's chill to the bone even with the heater on and i'm not joking!finally the most awaiting winter is here.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

late nights and rainy days.


just imagine dublin with the two words in your head.that's how i endured my life here for the past few days.
weather does affect people.i asked one of my irish colleague yesterday why he looked so upset.knowing him,he rarely shows any signs or symptoms of sadness,more to madness most of the time i would say.anyway,he immediately pouted his lips towards the window.owh i hate bad do i.i could stand the cold but not the rain.i felt sick afterward with headache giving it signal on one side of my temporal lobe.great.

but that was yesterday.i feel much better today.alhamdulillah.eventhough the rain hasn't stop yet,i decided not to bother too much about it.i just opened my blue umbrella and off i went to class.

lately,reading habit has came back.thank goodness.

i've read the time traveller's wife(TTTW) last week.the struggle between reading this page-turning book and studying for paeds exam was hard.really hard.somehow i managed to finish it 3days before exam.hopefully i pass paeds,owh lord please.back to this book,if you're looking for an atypical love story,go get this first i dunno why claire is so stupid wanting to spend the rest of her life with henry knowing the troubles he has in store for her,knowing she's gonna be left alone occasionally if not often.but the author potrayed claire as someone who knew exactly what she wants and sticks to it no matter what other people say or whatever it takes.if i were to meet claire,i have a question for her:how come she was so sure of her choice?

"mariam would always admire laila for how much time passed before she screamed"

i don't cry when i read novels.i hardly cry in real life.but i cried after reading this line knowing how painful it means.i cried harder towards the end of the story.and before i knew it,i was sobbing when i's a story of unconditional love,friendship and faith with flavors of lies,hate,pain and suffering.i felt like i was in the city of kabul with the sound of gunfire being shot every now and then outside the door and armed talibans walking up and down the streets.and who knew a limping child would grow up to be a fine man that u just couldn't resist falling in love with?:p i wont say anything anymore.a friend of mine hasn't read the story yet.dun be a spoiler,my heart told.

okies,done with the reviews.esok,lusa,tulat and isnin cuti.yeehaaa!

Friday, October 16, 2009

when i blew all the dust out the window.


forgive me for keeping a bit of privacy to myself for the last couple of days.i just felt the translucency of life through blogging was bothering me in some ways.furthermore all the ideas just drained out once i got back from hospital after entertaining a bunch of sick children who deserved more attention than this humble blog.but after second thought,well i think i'm an open book after all.what u see is what u get and at the same time, im keeping my fingers crossed that whatever they say about having lotz of spare time in the next module is nothing but the here i am again,back in the blogosphere.writing away like no tomorrow.

first and foremost,paeds exam was over.i didn't feel good about how it went but i'm glad it's i got my comfy bed

secondly,i'm anticipating a more relax and calming new module which happen to be psychiatry next.talking about mental illness reminds me of kawan sampai syurga who's definately not crazy but loves org gila.if he's reading this...ask me again in 6 weeks time how org gila is like and i would love to share eveything with you.

after having lunch,i walked to a bookshop in the mall hoping to find something to fill my weekend.surprisingly nothing caught my eyes when i was browsing the shelves looking for a good book to read.anyone has any suggestion on what book should i read next?

owh dear,im in the fourth paragraph already,am i not?i think that's enough for opposed to writing an essay,i want to keep it short and simple today.

have a lovely weekend peep and i'll be back=)

Thursday, October 8, 2009

every pain.


clare:it's hard being left behind.i wait for henry,not knowing where he is,wondering if he's's hard to be the one who stays.
i keep myself busy.time goes faster that way.
i go to sleep alone and wake up alone.i talks walk.i work until i'm tired.i watched the wind play with the trash that's been under the snow all winter.everything seems simple until u think about it.why love intensified by absence?.

long ago men went to sea.and women waited for them,standing at the edge of the water,scanning for the horizon for the tiny i wait for henry.he vanishes unwillingly without warning.i wait for him.each moment that i wait feels like a year,an eternity.each moment is as slow and transparent as glass.through each moment i can see infinite moments lined up,waiting.why has he gone where i cannot follow?

taken from the time traveler's wife

me:i spent a little time pondering what he will say if i utter those words to him.i guess he must have a line or two,words that will melt my heart like those snow flakes kissed by sunlight in winter months.

for the first time in 6 years.....i cant wait for winter to arrive.

Friday, October 2, 2009

si budak kecil


haish,susah betol merindu org yang tiada di depan mata nie.

hey budak kecil,i miss u so very much.

hey budak kecil,don't grow up too fast,will ya?i might no be able to catch up.huhu.

bila dah besar nanti,kamu akn malu untuk dicium-cium,digomol-gomol

bila dah pergi sekolah nanti,kawan-kawan menjadi lebih utama.

these are raw pictures taken by my antique Z610i,hence the quality.tried to edit but my iphoto had taken ages to be opened.

rindu betul telatah budak kecil ini.
rindu nak mandikan dia.tengok dia sikat rambut,letak bedak kat muka.sgt chommel.
rindu bau dia bila dia baring kat sebelah.
rindu nak suap nasik,nak bancuh susu dia.
rindu nak gaduh-gaduh,geget-geget(jijit-jijit,kata dia)
rindu nak lawan siapa lebih tahan geli dengan dia(it's funny when she camouflaged by doing so many things to cover up when being tickled so that she can win the game)=)

ahh...rindu segalanya.

entry nie buat i emotional.lebeh emotional dari rindukan boyfriend sendiri.


Wednesday, September 30, 2009

snippets of eid


i guess its unfair to let good pictures go to waste(especially when they were taken by a bunch of talented photographer friends).so here i am copying them one by one here as they'll bring color to my blog=)

ahh..i love the freedom of acting weirdo in dublin.

the piano.the photographer.and the tilted heads.

long live malaysia hall,dublin!

the famili,always.

and since i'm in retro mood,lets dance with her.she's brilliant!

till then.take care peeps.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

greener on the other side.


just got back from wexford,a small town just two and a half hour from dublin.i'm all tired and worn out but i refused to end my day just yet since i still have lots to catch up doing when i'm back to dublin a while ago.did i miss wexford already?part of me say yes but another part longing for my own bed and super fast internet access in the comfort of my own bedroom.however,loads of new things i've learnt in wexford general hospital.from a very student friendly consultant paediatrician to super snappy registrar,i think i had gained more knowledge in wexford than i was in temple st children hosp in dublin..syukur.and i think i gained weight too.blame the free lunches and delicious indian cuisine as they were the culprits.maybe i need to cut down carb and start eating salads after this?hurmm...

life after all is starting to get better.alhamdullillah.

offnote:last tuesday,when i was tagging along the ward round,my mind flew back to malaysia.hari selasa hari raya ke-3.everyone must have great time celebrating eid.tapi saya rasa macam dah lama sambut hari raya padahal baru hari ahad pergi solat aidilfitri.then i realized,i just had a day of raya before i went down the country to resume my normal routine.what a life.

Sunday, September 20, 2009

vanishing sun


there were lots of people at malaysia hall.

there were satay too but i didn't get any.poor us and boO the organizer.

there were 2 people wearing the same baju kurung but with different color.i wished i had my sister's.

there was drum hero besides guitar hero at jay's.but i think i better stick to guitar.

there were delicious yummy beehun soup and moist chocolate cake with our own nasi impit and kuah kacang.i think i couldn't get enough of them.

manchester city lost to united!owh i'm worried.

but hey,chelsea drowned spurs 3-0.a big yeay isn't it?

owh lord,more to say but where art thou?

it's been few frustrating days.

not a hello from the virtual world nor calls from the other side of the world.

its raya and all i want to do is to ask for forgiveness and to wish u a blessed and beautiful eid ul fitr.

i hope all is well.

i really do.

~worried soul

Saturday, September 19, 2009

titipan syawal


first of all,ramadhan kareem is waving us goodbye and syawal pula akn menjelma esok.
the last 5 years were ok.there were times when i didn't feel like raya at all especially if raya fell on school days.alhamdulillah this year's eid falls on least i can go to eid ul fitr prayer with ease and peace=)definately malaysia hall will be the venue for the prayer as the takbir there sounds much like malaysia compared to dublin or clonskeugh mosques which are the main mosques in dublin.after that,like yesteryears,we are going to gather at one of final meds house to feast our tummy with variety of raya cuisines dan juga sesi mengomen kueh before i go to my lala land,here 2 rangkap pantun khas sempena syawal 1430.

kuah kacang dimasak sedia,
nasi impit dimakan berserta,
kita semua insan biasa,
segala khilaf maaf dipinta.

baju ungu labuci kilauan,
tudung ariani hitam diwarna,
tahun ini masih di perantauan,
tahun hadapan kita beraya bersama.


salam lebaran~

1430 hijrah.

Sunday, September 13, 2009



nie dah lewat malam nie.saya sepatutnya tidoq secawan mocha sgt powerful making me wide awake at this wee hours.

anyway,2-3 hari nie,pergi mana-mana pun dengaq lagu raya.rumah-rumah kawan dan dalam radio dlm laptop sendiri pun ada.kononnya tahun ini perasan diri i tabah la.i told myself tahun nie i mst tak rasa sedeh sangat memandangkan tahun depan i dah raya kat malaysia.kunun nak enjoy raya this year kat sini puas-puas la.kunun akan bertabah nie.tapi i rasa nak humban kunun-kunun semua tu dalam longkang.isk..isk..isk..dengaq lagu raya nie makin sedeh.dengaq anak-anak sedara berkumpul di rumah buat kueh raya laeee gila klau boleh join.siap korang maksu buli.sorang goreng tepung sorang ayak tepung(nie tasks paling dibenci semua org okay).muahaha.kenapa tak buat dulu masa maksu ada.haa?..haaa?huhu.nak raya kat malaysiaaaa!huwaaa!


Thursday, September 10, 2009

kisah baju raya


diam tak diam dah nak masuk 21 ramdhan kan?cepat betul masa meninggalkan kita.baju raya dah siap?kueh raya dah berapa bekas?=)

hari ini tetiba nak cerita pasal baju raya.bagi i,setiap tahun memang beli ready-made sahaja.ironic betul,ibunda saya kat rumah tu mmg tukang jahit kampung.oleh kerana beliau ada banyak sgt tempahan,maka yang dihadkan hanya tempahan baju kurung pesak or pahang.easy and quick to be made.baju kebaya,kurung moden atau yang fancy-fancy lain tu hanya dijahit untuk kami anak-anak aja.itupun dah lama tak merasa.dah terlupa bila kali terakhir i beli kain pasang untuk dijahit oleh nya kalah doktor.hehe.

kalau balik cuti saja mak akn tanya bila nak beli baju raya and gaya macam mana pulak tahun nie?jawapan standard i,baju kurung(akhirnya smp cuti habes baru kelam kabut nak cari).anak mak yang sorang nie tak kesaaah.asal cantik dan berkenan di hati,rembat aja.but knowing my taste yang tak seberapa nie,i selalu serahkan urusan pemilihan baju kurung/raya kepada bunda dan kekandaku sahaja.let them choose.i trust them 100%.tahun nie,me and my sister plan nak buat kurung dr kain cotton sahaja sbb kunun nak bersederhana la kan.klau pilih dr kain ni confirm mak yg akn kena jahit sbb so far tak penah jumpa baju kurung kain cotton yg ready made xcept fer kids,hari yang dinanti sudah tiba,elok je nak masuk kamdar nak beli kain,mak kata jom lah pi tgok baju-baju kurung kat kedai yang berderet-deret tu dulu.jln punya jalan until smp satu kedai where we are frequent to and which my sister holds it's member card.mak terus suruh i tgok-tgok yang mana i berkenan.ikut kan hati byk la i berkenan kan but as i mentioned earlier,i let them choose.almost every year they chose and paid.tugas saya pakai.hehe.agaknya mak rasa senang kerja klau i beli yang siap saja.senang kerja semua i senang hati with their choices.mak and kakak always choose the best for me.that's for sure=)sebab tu saya takut nak kawen.sebab saya takut suami saya tak boleh keep up dengan apa yang saya dapat dr keluarga saya.but i'm learning not to expect the same as every people has their own standard of what's the best kan?tak semestinya the best tu luxuries.

and talking bout baju raya nie...i remember i nearly give up on thinking what color should this year's baju raya to make life easier,i consulted second opinion from incik ichigo.

me:awak,tahun nie nak pakai baju raya kaler apa eh?
him:up to you la.kaler apa pun ok.saya stick to last year's *raya atas kapal lagi* need ur opinion.saya tadak idea nie.
him:serious saya tak kesah kaler apa pun.
me:this is not the matter of kisah or not.this is about me not having any idea on what color shoud it be this year*nada dah bosan nie*i just nak pendapat u je.
me:eh..cantik ke saya pakai hijau?
him:tu,dalam friendster yang pakai baju kurung hijau tu macam ok je.
me:ok.hijau eh.nanti i beli hijau k.

tapi akhirnya beli ungu.haha.perempuan agaknya memang begini.tanya bagai nak rak.ikutnya tidak.sebab tu la lelaki susah nak bg opinion.

i personally love baju kurung kosong.color if possible bright and sunny.if corak,preferably geometrical with mixed always the ideal color.i love flowers but i don't think i look good on baju kurung corak bunga.and beadings always look exclusive to me.cutting pulak,baju kurung pahang is unique but i go for kurung moden sbb my body is kind of shapeless so i need artificial cutting that can do the job.hehe.but baju kurung pesak always the gold standard=) sopan and suits every event..

tak sabar pulak tuggu hari raya.bila tengok orang sekeliling pakai baju kurung dan segak berbaju melayu,ada satu perasaan halus yang hadir.



Tuesday, September 8, 2009

a quickie.


ok,i ada approximately 10 mins b4 10.50 malam.nothing just that i have to prepare slides for my presentation on thursday.tapi hati nie kuat nak berblog.boleh ke macam tu?apa-apa je lah labu....

today is the second day i'm doing paediatrics.when i went up to the wards,hati kecil i cakap....chummelnya budak-budak nie.w'pun sakit dan merengek-rengek,they are still adorable.macam mana tk cair i want one..or maybe 2 or 3 for myself.huahuahua.bila tgok si kecik tu senyum and waved me goodbye...sayu je nak tinggalkan ward.pernah sekali,i termenangis bila tgok dia senyum dan boleh ketawa tapi dari segi pergerakan,dia hanya mampu golek-golek kiri dan kanan tapi tak boleh meniarap pun walaupun dah 3 tahun.i tahan air mata jgn jatuh sebab i tanak jdi lemah sbb nanti macam mana i nak ubatkan mereka nie.okay-okay tutup cerita.i dah kena amek tisu~sobbing~

i miss mr seaman.sobs.rasa lama tak jumpa.the last time i heard from him,the ship tgh bahasa org kapal kot sbb i honestly have no idea rolling tu apa b4(dlm kepala igt lagu limb bizkit je,huahuahua..rolling rolling rolling).rolling ini adalah keadaan di mana kapal kena goncang dengan big waves.betulke?macam taufan la gitu.dia kata rasa macam naik lif tak stop-stop.or macam kena goncang dalam gelas.ngeri.tambah-tambah bulan posa nie...i rasa kesian la.tsk tsk tsk.dengan peningnya,dengan nak on duty lagi.kalaupun i jauh dr family,i still duduk kat darat yang tanahnya kejap.w'pun tadak bazar ramadhan,masih ada take-aways and fast foods yg halal.ini adalah alasan beliau untuk say NO bila i merengek mahu ikut ke laut nanti.kadang-kadang i rasa terharu how some people work so hard for a living.kalau duty time berbuka/sahur maka makannya pun merata-rata lah.kat enggine room ke...sedeh la dengar to entertain him onboard,i selalu update him with the latest EPL punya games.i'm happy when he's happy knowing his fave team has won the matches and after quite sometimes being an unpaid reporter,i'm quite familiar with the players and the club myself(smp berangan nak pi wembley tgok live match,haha)..cuma u jgn lah memadukan i dengan bola u tu ye.i tak sanggup jd the second one.sobs.*nie dah jd entry jiwang karat dan memuji bf sendri,maaf*=)

okielah.puasa baik2 semua.nanti dah nak smpai ke 10 mlm terakhir.jom tingkatkan ibadah,kuatkan iman ok~

Monday, September 7, 2009

missing bag,missing hearts.


should i say yeaaayyy for being here again?or should i cry?well,i don't think both are appropriate.let's see...erm....firstly i'm grateful to be back safely.


honestly,after such long hours,i'm just glad i made it home.

the chronology of quadruple flights.

malaysia airlines:penang-klia
departure:3rd sept 2145hours

departure:5th sept 0055hours(delayed to 0200)
arrival:5th sept 0445hrs

departure:5th sept 0745hrs
arrival:5th sept 1215hrs

departure:5th sept 1550hrs(delayed to 1650hrs)
arrival:5th sept 1730hrs

total journey:23hours and 32mins(not including penang-klia)

total energy consumed:in total exhaustion.

p/s:mst korang pening tgok departure and arrival time tu kan?especially bila tgok bertolak 5sept,sampai pun 5sept.this is due to difference in local time of different count.i think around 4-5..apa-apaun malaysia lae cepat

well,that was 2 days ago.i've already recovered and alhamdulillah no jet lag so far.

tapi cerita ni tak best lah tadak drama kan?when checking-in at klia,i were told that i could check-in my luggage directly to dublin.u see,i booked my flights to heathrow and dublin separately using different airlines and so i don't think this is possible.when the staff confidently told me he can do that,without further thinking i quickly handed in my booking reference of the flight from london to dublin.this is handy as direct check-in means i dont have to collect my bag in heathrow and recheck-in again.time and energy saving.but all the way i had this uneasy feeling about my luggage.when i finally touched down in dublin i quickly go to baggage reclaim and waited anxiously for my's blue and red in color and weighed 23kg.after waiting for quite sometime,i noticed the no show of the bag.i waited until there's no more beg on the belt and finally accepted the fact that my bag was missing and slowly i walked to the airline baggage counter to make a report.hurm....i didn't feel anything.not panic nor sad.i knew this coming.i somehow the same time,i were tired and my head was dizzy like hell i've no time to excessively worry about my bag anymore.kat mata nampak katil je.the receptionist will contact me once they trace my beg and send it to me around 8-12am the next day.

the next day:i woke up at half nine.still no news about the missing bag.continued unpacking and tidying up the messy room.the room was not only full of mess but chilly at the same time.i missed malaysia 2pm i called them asking about the whereabouts of my bag.still untraceable.half-an hour late,i sent an email to emirates asking them a favor of locating the bag.~bersungguh-sunggu wa cakap lu sebab terkenangkan kek cokelat sebijik dan segala ketupat segera,perencah knorr secukup rasa dan 12 perencah nasik u know lah why my nasik goreng i sedap kan.ahem!at 3pm baru je angkat takbir nak solat,ada call.terus angkat and woOOhoooo,they have found my beg it has safely arrived at dublin airport!yeay!around 8 the delivery man arrived and handed me the bag.siap sms lae after the called me.


bag01/BLUE-your item has been prepared to be delivered to you.-

::the exact sms i've received::

efficient kan?=)

i rasa dlm drama nie kan..i learnt something tau.masa beg hilang,takde perasaan.sehari selepas tu,i rasa sedeh.pastu mula la macam-macam perasaan lain bercambah.rasa unlucky lah,rasa malang lah.kalau la i bercomunicate dengan org,mst i rasa nak marah je.i trus tak bersemangat nak bgun pagi.masa sahur pg tu,i minum air paip and mkn kueh raya 3-4 bijik sbb tu je yg ada dlm hand-carry i.kettle pulak rosak.last i mkn heavy was in the flight from dubai-heathrow.around berbelas hours before.perut i sensitive.i doaaaaa sgt kat tuhan jgn bg i lapar or sakit perut sbb i mkn tu je for sahur.waktu puasa kat sini longer than malaysia.15jam setengah.bila dah tau beg dah jumpa,i malu sendri.i rasa i overreacted. tgok...tuhan nk duga i.sehari je dia hilangkan beg dah gelabah.tu baru beg.klau menda penting lain..for an instance..passport ke...(nauuzubillah la).lagi haru especially dalam bulan mulia ni...i dah promise myself nak increase the level of patience in myself.dan tuhan nak tunjukkan dalam apa2 menda pun...kita kena ada sifat kebergantungan kepada Allah yang sgt jitu.i bagi nama Allah high-dependancy unit(AHDU).kalau kat hospital unit nie menakutkan sbb it full of post-operative patients(baru lepas bedah) or org tenat but but not critical enough to be admitted into ICU.tapi kalau AHDU ni selamanya dok dlm nie lae bagus.tapi manusia selalu lupa.senang sket igt diri sendri je.kan?eh mungkin bukan korang,i je nie.
okielah,i rasa mcm ustazah tak bertauliah pulak.hehe

i baru buat grocery shopping and i dah beli 2pieces of salmon fillet and king prawns.ada idea tak nak masak apa?hurm...nampaknya perut nie masih belum bersedia nak terima ayam setelah 2 bulan dimanjakan sangat dengan variety of fish and seafoods.takpa pelan-pelan i cuba.

enuff for now lah ye.i'll write more when i have time and ideas.

till then take care.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


it's sadden me that the holiday is coming to an end eventually.worse when i'm having super great time fasting and feasting my tummy with malays,indian and chinese delicacies that seriously irresistable.but to tell you the truth,i haven't gone to any bazaar ramadhan yet.ini adalah kejayaan besar okay.i'm truly satisfied with what we had for berbuka so far which was all homecooked!i started to dislike bazar ramadhan since most of the kueh and lauk-pauk weren't as good as they used to be and some were even spoilt or not edible at all.but i do like bazar ramadhan near nilai,N9.they have this super long bazar ramadhan and the foods were marvellous was last year tho.hopefully it stays the same this year.

incik ichigo has reminded me that i only have 4 days left in malaysia.i said 3.i made a mistake by telling him i'll be flying off to dublin on saturday nite but it's actually 5th sept at klau ikut bahasa melayu jumaat malam la.haiyark.he's going to anchor at hakata probably on thursday nite and lets hope i'm not on the plane to k.l at that time.

part of me is excited to go back and resume my student life again after such a long break but another part of me dare not to face new challenges in studies as doing paediatric next is far from easy.hurm...whatever it is,i need to prioritize my responsibility and i got to do what i'm suppose to do,aight?

offnote,to hajar,dzariff and liana....thanx for the short and sweet mini-reunion that we had just now.being given the oppurtunity to get to know u all is one of the most wonderful moments in my life.w'pun setelah 12 tahun berlalu,saya still rasa kita adalah kanak-kanak 11 tahun yang suka menyakat dan bertengkar tapi malas membuat homework dan belajar.haha.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

when i came to my senses.


to love
is to be able to bear the pain and the sufferings.
to face doubts and uncertainties
to feel hurt
to taste tears
to stand still against the gravity of obstacles
and to go insane.

while to stop loving
is to live no life at all.

dont ask me to stop hoping cause that's the way i live my life with you.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

2nd day.


how's ramadhan treating u people?

sekejap ja berlalu hari ke-2..hari ini kami(me,mak and kakak)berbuka dengan kurma,sagu gula melaka dan nasi berlauk ikan bawal masak kicap,sawi goreng dan sambal belacan(oghang utagha la katakan).cakap pasal sagu gula melaka nie,saya pertama kali rasa masa majlis kahwin abg kepada kawan saya.tak puas rasanya mkn kat situ.sedap i decided to try make it myself.tambah2 bulan puasa kan.mst la lagiii teringin.senang saja nak buatnya.meh chek ceghita macam mana nak buat:

1)bahan-bahan A
-sagu(anggaran 1 cawan utk 3 org)
-gula(2 sudu makan-manis2 buah gitu)~optional
cara:masak sagu sampai tidak nampak biji putih(kira sampai kembang la).sambil masak sambil kacau.kalau tidak,sagu melekat.apabila kembang,basuh dengan air untuk membuang kanji-kanjinya supaya sagu itu berbiji-biji,baru sedap.letakkan dalam acuan kecil.sejukkan.anda boleh warnakan dengan pewarna atau mesin daun pandan semasa mengacau sagu ini untuk lebih berseri-seri gitu.heheh

2)bahan-bahan B
-gula melaka.
-daun pandan
cara:cairkan gula sampai likat bersama daun pandan.

3)bahan-bahan c
-sedikit garam
cara:panaskan santan jangan sampai pecah minyak.

akhir sekali silalah tuang santan dan gula melaka ke atas sagu mengikut kegemaran masing2.nak kemarau ke banjir ke kuahnya terpulang.hehe.klau cuaca panas,makan sejuk-sejuk lagi best.kalau hujan macam 2-3 hari nie,makan panas-panas baru terangkat.hehe.

seghonok betoi dapat posa dengan famili dan suasana di malaysia ni lain lah.feel tu mmg dahsyat.dah la cuaca 2-3 haghi nie asek hujan manjang.sejuuukkk saja.semayang terawikh pun ghasa ghingan.hehe.

anyway esok mak nak ajak buat kueh cagha.esok klau jadi saya paste kat sini naa...

selamat berpuasa semua=)

Thursday, August 20, 2009

welcoming ramadhan.


while having dinner with beloved sister,both my eyes were fixed to the telly watching peyimpan mohor besar raja-raja announcing the beginning of ramadhan.seems like the anak bulan was too shy to show itself yet making the saturday as the beginning of the fasting month.reminiscing the good old times when all of us were young,still teenagers and kids.all of us would cross-legged in front of the telly waiting anxiously for the announcement,with both parents too.we started betting wether puasa will start the next day or the day after.when the announcement was made those won the bet shouted happily saying"i've told u so!".yang kalah tunduk je la.huhu.but everyone happy. alhamdulillah.another ramadhan approaching.this yr marks the 2nd year of me being able to fast together with family here at home.eventhough for 2 weeks only i'll try my best to make full use of it in terms of ibadah and good deeds that we are strongly encouraged to do,GOD before we start fasting...i would like to extend my apologies to everyone that knows me personally atau tidak if ever i'm hurting u guys by words or actions.saya hanya manusia biasa yang tidak lari dari kesilapan.yang baik itu dari Allah dan yang buruk itu dari Allah juga tetapi melalui diri saya.sebelum tidur malam ini i juga akn maafkan semua org =)doakan agar i tidak lupa ye.

before puasa starts,mak is so kind she let me go to the night market and buy whatever i craved habesla duit yang diberi.ampun mak.hehe.

owh nanti kena bangun sahur pagi2.knowing mak,after sahur.....we have to recite quran while waiting for subuh prayer.sleeping is not allowed.after subuh tu depends.tapikan..masa nie mmg critical tau.susah betul nak bukak mata.klau boleh tongkat dengan mancis..dah lama i buat tau.lae satu...i have a bad habit.i'm definately not an early-riser.yeee...sifat yang paling tidak disukai ibu mertua sekalian alam.unless i have something important to attend,my usual wakey time is around 10 every morning.tu kira awal tu.huhu.dah try ubah.tak jalan mum marah?dia dh gave up lama dah.tapi eventhough i woke up very late...i still do the housechores.kira kerja umah siap.cuma bgun awal nie....mmg tokleh laa...incik ichigo on the other hand is really good at waking up do i knoe?dah kantoi byk kali dah.dulu masa baru-baru kawan byk je alasan nak cover.sampai tak angkat tepon pun i gave up lah.suara bagun tidoq tu mmg tokleh tipu...any petua tak supaya senang bgun awai?

oklah....until next time folks=)selamat berpuasa ye.

Dapatkan Mesej Bergambar di Sini

Sunday, August 16, 2009

when my day sucks!


take a deeepppp breath in....
and breathe outttt......

today is definately one of the day that i couldn't wait to let it pass by.
tak sabar tunggu hari esok boleh?

i'm mad at everything!

first of all..................STREAMYX!this bloody service really made by blood pressure soars up to the sky!i've been reconnecting more than a dozen times already.furthermore i have to go to cc if i have something urgent to the bad old times..sebelum i pasang menda bodoh nie.motif i pasang streamyx is i tak payah lagi kuar umah nak guna internet totally unreliable streamyx from the respective TMNET is behaving!urrrggghhhhh!seriously rasa nak nanges pun ada!i dah call customer service dia pun.dah buat trouble shooting berjam-jam pun.i telefon 5x!5x tau tak in A DAY!!!!....everytime putus pun disebabkan mereka.1st they said the conversation will be recorded for learning purposes and they kept all the infos about the caller such as names,hp no and home no but they never bother to call me back when the conversation ended abruptly!NEVER!and everytime i called again,someone elses would answer and i had to repeat the problems again.and then u know what the solution is?they told me to take they main connectors from the telephone to the modem which is totally absurd since the telephone and my pc are metres make the matter worse,wiring suma fixed to the wall.yang dalam dinding pun ada.dia kata kenapa buat begini?i tanya...the wiring mmg dah berpuluh tahun lama fixed begitu and kenapa masa pasang streamyx haritu u tak pikir menda2 nie suma.why u all bodoh sgt tak pikir all the complications and such.pastu bg contoh2 bodoh kt dlm telefon kata streamyx ni macam pakai kereta lah and bla..bla..bla.ada time akan rosak bla..bla...yg u all suma tak sanggup dengaq.sebab tu klau streamyx macam kereta, proton nak bankrupt dah.oowh my god.....silalah beri rahmat dah hidayahMu kepada pekerja2 TMnet ini supaya mereka lebih laju dan maju dalam kerja2 mereka.when ada ja contract2 besar from the international company or especially goverment...tmnet ini berebut2 nak kan menda tu and surprisingly mereka yang dapat.but the service never improved!apa nie?cuba bagi kat company lain tgok...i'm sure the internet connection wouldn't be this suck!

dari semalam dah i naik darah tapi i sabar sebab yang ada dalam rumah ni mak and kakak i saja..takkan nak sembur kat mereka kan...tak adil i simpan.hari ni,sebelum i pergi rumah aunties i...i dah cakap awal2 dalam kereta i tanak duduk lama-lama.takyah sedia makanan segala...i dah kenyang.i just nak nice chit-chatting sket2 dan balik.tapi tu la...end-up,sampai kul 10 kena stay.siap masak,goreng ikan,masak sayur beli laksa segala.selamat depa tak kata nak masak gulai ayam atau buat kerabu pucuk paku.klau cakap begitu i mmg mengamuk ok.i bukan apa...i have my own plans.i have my own cravings tu fullfill.dan i nak pi cari baju raya.klau i dh makan segala and stay lama-lama,segala plans i musnah.and bukan selalu i ada free weekend tahu tak.i nak spend relax-relax dengan 2 org kesayangan i tepi laut..makan KFC..minum starbucks sambil bercinta-cinta dengan mak dan kakak i.i jugak tak beli baju raya lagi tahu tak.9 hb depan i dah balik ireland dah.and bila beli kain my mum kena jahit which dia ada 100 baju nak kena jahit untuk orang lain pakai raya nanti.bila jadi macam ni..kena paksa duduk lelama dan makan segala..i jd gelisah..sampai satu tahap i akn nak marah semua org and silap2 i akn meletup....see...sekarang i dah cara i cakap dengan mereka wouldn't be nice anymore and cara i mintak balik pun dah tak sedap didengar.

lagi satu...i marah sbb incik ichigo tak balas-balas email lagiii i naik darah.i punya berkobar2 nak balik check email sekali dia tak balas.eeeee....down tau tak.ok i dah malas nak layan orang kapal seorang nie.u tido la sorang2 atas kapal..i tak kesah dah.

lastly..i maraaaaah gila kat nyamuk!bukan kiasan atau pun simbolik.mmg betul2 nyamuk.boleh tak geget orang lain atau jangan ngeng..ngeng..ngeng..kat telinga ai.rimas tau tak!u igt u untung ke geget i.bila i pakai baju or seluar2 yg gelap je..the more u get excited and do u think it's possible for me to wear bright colors everyday?silap2 i boleh masuk hospital and that's definately not a good idea since cuti i less than a month je.i beg u ,please ask the whole clan get out of my house and find another better place to stay and breed!

haaa....bersembur2 habes basah blog i.ngan nyamuk2 pun kena.takpa,nie blog sendri kan.cara cakap pun dah macam orang psychotic dah.maaf if i ada menyinggung sesiapa.i cuma manusia yang ada sikap marah dan tidak terlalu penyabar.i hope i could tolerate more next time which i'll try my best but as for today,it's all unbearable which i have to pour it out loud.
sorry blog today just simply not my day!

Friday, August 14, 2009

as life goes on....


hidup nie macam roda.

kadang-kadang kita di atas,
kekadang kita di bawah.
selalu kita happy,
ada ketika mesti berduka.
walaupun kita sihat sentiasa,
mesti ada ketika kita akn diuji dengan kesakitan.

roda itu kan berputar.
lumrah alam.

makna bahagia pula?

wang ringgit berpuluh angka?
kereta BMW?merc?mini cooper?
atau kah rumah banglo di atas bukit nyaman?

sepasang suami isteri/kekasih sedang berpimpingan tangan.
meniti anak tangga,
bergurau senda,bergelak ketawa.
sungguh bahagia.
si suami memegang tongkat,si isteri pula memimpin tangan.
kedua-duanya buta.

definisikan bahagia..........sekali lagi.

melihat keluarga tersenyum gembira dan sihat sejahtera.
itu adalah bahagia saya.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

truly touched.


hari ini adalah indah.=)

finally i met his was it?macam mana saya jatuh cinta dengan dia,begitu juga saya jatuh cinta dengan ibunya.she's lovely.enough said.terasa banyak kurangnya diri saya apabila dilayan sebegitu rupa.bukan dilayan tidak baik.tetapi dia membuatkan saya merasa dekat dengan keluarganya.dilayan seperti sudah kenal lama.sudah pernah berjumpa.padahal ini adalah pertama kali bagi segala-galanya.seeing my mum and his mum walking side by side joking around made me feel like i have two mums.i felt warm inside.

and his brothers and sisters?they made me feel secured.terasa segala permasalahan besar menjadi kecil.serasa cepat saja mahu menjadi sebahagian daripada mereka.they took great care of each other.betul cakap dia dahulu,dia tak perlu orang lain sebagai rakan sepermainan sewaktu kecil.dia ada mereka.sekarang saya betul-betul faham.he has the most wonderful siblings i've emer met.

selain tempoyak,asam jawa dan kuah durian homemade serta cempedak dan bahulu,terlalu banyak kasih dan sayang saya terima hari ini.saya juga telah berjumpa acuan yang membentuk dia selama ini.i'm glad i found him.

sekali lagi saya jatuh cinta....bukan sahaja dengan dia,tetapi dengan seluruh keluarganya.

kepada Tuhan saya bersyukur dan berdoa agar dipanjangkan jodoh kami dan berkatilah kedua-dua keluarga agar cinta kami semua menuju kepada cintaMu.

to mak and kakak for being so understanding...only GOD can repay everything.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

nak pakai baju apa ye?

kesian sungguh blog ni.makin lama makin diabaikan.rasa nak close down terus pun ada.haiih..makin hari makin malas nak menulis.nak tutup sayang la pulak.

takpalah saya cerita je apa yang boleh ok.hari ini perjumpaan dengan bestfriend lama saya.we all been friends since primary school lae.alhamdulillah..we can talk about everything eventhough jumpa setahun sekali.susah nak cari kawan macam ni kan.main objective nak cari wedding gift for a couple ni,lama jugaklah pusing.sambil2 tu window shopping di east india company and sommerset bay.lawa sungguh baju-baju di situ.tapi kan..saya agak kecewa la dengan attidude sesetengah salesgirls di malaysia nie.melayan org guna double standard,nak tak nak ja.tak semestinya klau kita selekeh kita tak ada duit yg cukup untuk beli.klau tak mampu beli,org tak akn masuk dan beriya memilih.betul tak?nak beli pun dah hilang mood.tsk..tsk..tsk..

hari sabtu adalah hari penting.agaknya hari apa ya?tgh pening nak pakai baju apa nie.kang klau pakai baju kurung..tudiaaa ayu tak bertempat la kan.klau pakai dress dengan skinny jeans melebih la pulak.isk..pening-pening.huhu.tnya mak and kakak lah.owh mungkin perlu mintak pendapat incik ichigo.maybe dia bleh tolon..hehe.

chow chin chowwwww!

Monday, August 3, 2009

my only drug.


another friend of mine got married yesterday.congratulations!may the marriage last forever and ever=)i can see the chemistry kata bahagia.haha.

by the way,H1N1 makin mengganas.if only the goverment could do's frightening seeing the no of people affected increasing day by day,what's more the rising death toll.could this be a warning sent by god so that we realize everything in this world happens according to His will?

today is not good.i miss the one and only so badly i couldn't think of anything he ok?does he get good foods onboard?is everyday a monday like he used to tell me?are the superiors treating him nicely?and most importantly....does he miss me like i miss him?i think i've been drugged!

`I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox.` – Woody Allen

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

when everything else is here....


life for the past weeks were hectic.sarawak get-away,friends coming over...everything was awesome.

mak and kakak are the greatest!

rasa sebulan berlalu sekelip mata.i ate like a cow and slept like a baby.


incik ichigo as usual somewhere between bintulu-hakata.nothing really change.everything stays the same=)owh cuma satu yang berubah...hurm..nevermind.anyway tunggu lelaki ini macam tunggu bulan tak jatuh.balik cepat boleh?

okie lah.i'll write more esok-esok keh.nite

Saturday, June 27, 2009

it's summer,again!


i need someone to help me packing.esok cab dtg at way nak buat semua malas.sleep deprivation is taking it's toll on me semua obs and gynae punya pasal la.tdik kul satu ptg baru habes exam.smlam tidoq 4 jam lebey ja.

sale menggila plak tu kat kota dublin.klau tak balek esok leh ranap duit dalam bank.seb baik.haha.

beg2 besaq tak penuh lak this yr.selalu smp tak muat or terlebey berat.betul org kata..makin lama tinggal kat oversea(cam nak muntah sebut nie)makin tatau nak beli apa utk org kat malaysia.byak sebenarnya kena beli.mana family sendri nye,rakan dan taulan serta keluarga bakal mentua.nie ayat gedix la naa. ishk,pening-pening.

pastu sempat lae buat jahat.perli-perli seayat dua kepada member-member yang balik lambat sket and yang tak balik trus summer.mana nk dapat yong tau foo seraga dua kat dublin nie betui dak?hehe.take a pill and chill babeh.tak lama lagi balik ah.hehe.

ok ah.malam 29hb sampai la kat klia i nie.jgn lupa karpet merah ye tuan-puan dan puan-tuan sekalian.lepas nie sila sound saya untuk pertemuan here ai silap,malaysia saya dataaaaang!=D

jom layaaannnn lagu nie.kasik up sket.esok dah "here in my home"

offnote:sekarang semua orang akan dengaq lagu michael jackson sampai muntah.kalau benar dia muslim,ayat standard:semoga tuhan mencucuri rahmat ke atas rohnya.

Monday, June 22, 2009

.jangan tunggu lama-lama.


sila bertahan dengan saya untuk hari ini.saya akn berbahasa melayu sepenuhnya.bahasa inggeris tak meningkat.bahasa melayu semakin cacat(bak kata sarah amin).apa nak jadi ni?
hari ini agak tertekan.belom sampai tahap kemurungan lagi,alhamdulillah.

rasa mahu sahaja menelefon bonda tercinta dan nyet..nyet..nyet...sampai lebam,tapi beliau mesti di alam mimpi.ah,kalaulah saya menelaah dari awal mungkin situasi bukan seteruk ini.tadi berborak sebentar bersama incik ichigo yang berlabuh di hakata sana,rasa agak keberatan mahu membebankan beliau dengan tekanan2 saya memandangkan dia juga mempunyai tekanan nya sendiri.apatah lagi mereka sekapal dikuarantin kerana H1N1 yg mkin mengganas.mencegah lebih baik bukan?ahh,abaikan sahaja ya.

hari ini kata-kata professor saya tengiang-ngiang di telinga."ladies,don't wait till the end".berulang-ulang kali beliau mengulang ayat yang sama sambil memberi senyuman penuh makna dan mata yang penuh mengharap kepada kami gadis-gadis panas(haha)supaya kami tidak mengabaikan nasihat beliau.

agak-agak kalian lah...apakah maksud tersirat di situ?

cuba lihat statistik ini....

prevalence of infertility

25-29 yrs: 5.5%

30-34 yrs: 9.4%

35-39 yrs: 19.7%

wpun figura di atas tidak kelihatan begitu keterlaluan,cuba fikirkan kembali.signifikasinya sgt tinggi lebih-lebih lagi apabila umur makin meningkat.(owh ayat mcm indon,maafkan)

dan di eropah,1 dari 7 pasangan adalah mandul.anda mengerti sekarang?

saya bukanlah seorang yang mesra kanak-kanak.apatah lagi bayi.saya juga mungkin akn mengambil masa untuk menjadi ibu suatu hari nanti.maksud saya merancang keluarga.saya perlu masa membangunkan kerjaya saya.saya juga perlu masa mengenali suami saya dengan lebih mendalam.itu adalah rancangan asal.w'pun tuhan sahaja yang tahu bila saya akan berkahwin tetapi saya sudah mempunyai rancangan masa depan.mst ada yang tersenyum sinis apabila bercakap seperti ini.cuba fikir,di umur ini,generasi atas mungkin sudah beranak pinak.oleh itu saya merasakan perlu untuk berfikir sejenak.saya perlu betul-betul bersedia.menjadi seorang ibu bukan perkara senang.hidup terlalu berharga untuk diambil mudah.cuma kata-kata profesor saya membuatkan saya terus berfikir.

hurm...minggu ini saya ada peperiksaan besar.obstetric and gynaaecology.jumaat dan sabtu.oleh itu saya memerlukan doa semua pembaca blog ini agar saya dpt mengharungi peperiksaan dengan tenang dan jayanya.owh lagi satu,saya akan pulang ke malaysia pada ahad sehari selepas peperiksaan.jom jumpa!=D

Friday, June 19, 2009



bukan,ini bukan jemputan kahwin.betul,tak tipu.

ahaks,gimik.lame.i know.

anyway,on my way home from hospital this afternoon,i bumped into one muslim sister.she came from iraq.very nice and friendly lady she is.from far,she gave me a smile,i just knew it's sincere.she walked by and after a few steps she called,"assalamualaikum sister"sambil merenung dalam muka saya.

"waalaikumasalam.yes,can i help you?"i thought she was gonna ask for direction.

she smiled again."i love your scarf".ahaa,"thanx".i blushed."i got it from malaysia."

actually she was looking for scarf that is colorful and bright thay may suit the current summer season.feeling a bit more caring i offered to buy a few for her but with a condition that she has to wait for another 2 months.we exchanged mobile nmbers so that i can contact her to pass the scarves later on.she seemed very happy and i'm happy too.

owh wait,the story isn't finish story is not to brag about my scarf but there's something new i learnt about my name.i told her i can't promise her about the scarf sbb nti takut lupa,but i'll try my best to bring her a few in 2 months time.then she said,it's ok at least she has made a new friend and while looking at my face she said"u know what ur name means in arabic?"


invitation......patutla kadang-kadang saya rasa kuasa ajakan saya nie terlebih kuat.ajakan baik mahupun jahat semua jalan.haha.semoga saya lebih/akan mengajak kepada kebaikan dari kejahatan.haha.


dear darling,
i couldn't contain my feeling anymore,
i think i fell in love again,
u know i was once in love with him,
but u say u are better,much better,
owh how it took some time to actually succumb to that reality,
but after seeing him again,
with his charisma that never fades
his kindness in saving the human race
and his strength and power bestowed upon him
owh my optimus prime..
so darling dear,
i had to turn my back on you,
i had to tell u this..........
i'm sorry darling,i tgok transformers dulu dari you.

puisi khas untuk incik ichigoku.

5 reasons why u have to watch transformers:
1)more powerful optimus prime and more robots
2)hotter megan fox
3)sinematography mantap and locations mmg cun.petra,jordan mmg magnificient.
4)soundtracks best gila!artists include:linkin park,green day(yes,they are back folks!),the fray,iris and many more!
5)i dah compromised my obs and gynae study time,kenapa tidak anda.heheheh.ajakan jahat nie.muahahah.

opppss...i gotta go.he's mad already.


Sunday, June 14, 2009

.weekend blues.


lama tak letak lagu dalam nie.jordin sparks is moi size,beautiful with powerful voice.kalau nyanyi dalam bahasa,lagu nie agak-agak mcm lagu patriotik atau nasyid bunyinya.

medan perang


Saturday, June 13, 2009

.paris timelapse.


owh my blog was crying its lung out wanting a new entry to be written.yes..yes...busy is always the inevitable reason for the absence of any post lately.blame my obstetric and gynaecology professor for making life miserable for a while.but well at least i know how to pronounce adnexae and adnexum perfectly and know how to distinguish which one is singular and which one plural after having my head knocked to the white board a few times by him.yes,in this 21st century!

before i rant more,i would like to say million thanx to my housemates,my best buddies here(from the end of parnel sq to reuben st(sila follow route 122),not forgetting all the way from newcastle),and friends seluruh dunia who celebrated my buffday wif's like my childhood dream came all just superb!and yes to you too who dropped 'aku sayang ko' sms to me the other day,i'm truly touched!that one sms enough to make my whole self puffed up with happiness :D(and gave me extra strength to brave he-who-must-not-be-named). how's induction course dear?hope everything went well and u'll be a good doctor,i'm sure.

unfortunately,communication with mr seaman didn't go well for the last 2 weeks that i missed him in btween my holiday and his work trips but i'm hoping to talk to him anytime soon as he's already within maxis and celcom coverage.hurraah!and mum told me there something waiting for me at home.he refused to disclose what is it and i refused to let mum open it for me.u know why la kan.

anyway,it's time for pictures.trip to paris was a spontaneous day aiza was craving for french macaroon and next we were in front of the lappy booking flight tics and looking for hostel.3 days and 2 nights were there goes my special day.joyfully spent!we took early morning flight back to dublin and i arrived just in time before tutorial with he-who-must-not-be-named started.pheewww....

one of the many arches in the city.

river cruising

aiza,in front of cathedral of notre dame

the cathedral on the other side

the side view of the cathedral.took this picture while having a delicious hot nutella crepe and belgian waffle.

where monalisa is

...Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, flow sister...

wif our walking tourguide,sam.

most people found paris as a romantic city for for me,i love walking around the city and feasted my eyes with countless historical buildings and beautiful sculptures around town especially with aiza when she had loads of subject for her photography addiction but it's not a place that i would splurge my money on especially for honeymoon.the eiffel is magnificent and the metro is efficient enough to commute but i think there are other countries that impressed me more.don't be put off by my opinion.maybe if u can tolerate a bit of unfriendly people and uncleanliness of certain places,u'll love paris.

au revoir.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009



another bank holiday last monday.that made my weekend longer.heaven.

instead of buying myself another present like yesteryears,i decided to change the norm.

where was i?

just before the sun set.

another overrated city.but thumbs up to eiffel tower and the metro system.j'dore beaucoup,beaucoup....!


Thursday, May 28, 2009



tonight will be the last nite i have to be in labour ward.

********hawaian dancing**************

bukan tak best,cuma sleep cycle mmg 360 degree changed and comes together puffy saggy eyes with it.huuuu kan dh nampak 5 tahun tua dr umur yg sediakala mencecah setaun-lagi-nak-smp-suku-abad.

anyway,selama nie saya sgt kagum dengan all the 7 wonders of the world,u know colosseum,great wall of china,taj mahal and the are the latest one.

after 4 nights seeing and believing what happened in the labour ward,i think i found a new addition to the present 7 wonders of the world,the eighth one.jeng..jeng..jeng...!


hahah.cara ini mmg magic.magic tau tak.the differences on women with and without epidural are significantly obvious!initially she could be in excruciating pain with all the sweat and tears but once the epidural kicks in,she's just lying on her back chatting away with the husband and the midwife like nothing happen and some even fell asleep and has to be awaken when the right time comes to push the baby out.klau yang tak pakai tu,masyaAllah jerit satu hospital boleh dengaq.and i did asked one of the anaesthethist which happen to be a malaysian which i thought another midwife before hand,(and malangnya siap tanya lagi.."r u a midviwe here?"no,i'm the anesthetist"dong!).she told me better to go on epidural since it helps a lot with the pain and no point to act heroic if there's something to help us facing the pain soo effectively.but they are drawbacks of using epi.hypotension,dizziness and shakiness,massive headache and prolongation of 2nd stage of labour(btween full dilation of the cervix and delivery of the baby) are among all but worry not.the medical staffs will monitor your vitals every now and then i'm sure they are all being in their consideration if u're on epi.

but if u feel like giving birth natural way or hate it when ur body being poked by huge needles then no problemo.we have pethidine,painkiller jugak whereby we injected into ur bump and entonox,an inhaled gas consist of 50%nitrus oxide and 50% oxygen both act to lessen ur pain but work to the lesser extent of epidural.and yeah quite a number of women did just great depending on them.=)

okies..itu sahaja wahai ibu-ibu mengandung sekalian.any Qs don't hesitate to ask.try my best to answer.

in a nutshell,always remember u are special and u deserve the best care any staff could give.

till next time then.


Monday, May 25, 2009

it's ok sweetheart.


my tummy is having a bad day today..i felt bloated the whole day.i think excessive consumption of ayam masak cili could be the reason.anyway,my aym masak cili tastes like aym percik at the end of the day.blame the coconut milk.

a few texts from nagasaki make me drooling of japanese-made sushi and japanese ramen and owh not forgotten excellent choices of levi's jeans which some are not available anywhere else.wish i could be there and help him choosing the best-suited levi's jeans and most importantly choose a pair of my own;P .i'm always fascinated by his stories about japan.but i don't think he'll bring me to japan one day as buying flight tix is just a waste of money as he can go there back and forth FOC or fully paid by misc.sheesh..too bad azimah.

anyhoot,seeing women in labour made me think twice of getting pregnant.well,although it's not going to happen anytime soon but as a lady it's something possible(can't say definately as everything comes from the ONE and ONLY) to happen to me right?hehe.and tabik spring lah to all mother.from morning sickness to third stage of labour,i tak rasa lelaki sanggup tanggung all those things more than once.maybe ada but how many?provocative sket.i'm not being's just another point to support the phrase"syurga di bawah telapak kaki ibu".

have a nice day all.

Friday, May 22, 2009

behind smiles.


another friend turning 24.owh how i wish we still 19.yes not 21 but one.nine.

i hate knowing the fact that im already in a category with the big t.w.o at the front and yet i love doing what only those with the big t.w.o are permitted to do.

perhaps this is the reason why god created dementia.


dunno what's dementia?go google.