Monday, December 6, 2010



the joy of working is u get to see your previously bedbound patients are back on their feet again beaming from ear to ear making their first steps all over again .isn't it a wonder?

and the joy of being loved is you know he/she will return into your arms again no matter how long or how far  the person may go..i think this is simply as sweet as a candy(yes,u may puke.haha)

he's going offshore again.we both are okay with it.we had more than enough time won't get any nicer by going against the nature of his work right?'s time and with full-heartedly support,i wish him well and smooth-sailing journeys ahead.

dear fiance,

please find me asap once you sign-off.i'll make sure i have a beautiful wedding gown to wear by the time u're back  :)

Thursday, December 2, 2010



it's winter time and i miss wearing boots.

it's only 12 noon in dublin.

: (

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

introductory entry.


owh dear,i knew this would happen.i was too busy tagging people asses i have no time to even read whatmore write my own blog.well,i'm still breathing fyi.not in repiratory distress to be exact(i was a few days back but let us forget the past,will ya?)hehe.

so how's my new life treating me? was sucks big time for the past 14 days.i got scolded by my superiors depending on how many times i presented case in clinic.even when i'm writing patients' charts or while walking during rounds  my ears tend to get this nasty way of im-being nice-but-at-the-same-time-i-hate-the-way-u-work kinda of advice.i don't mind being scolded for my mistakes but what pissed me off the most is when there are people who acted like they are damn good in everything just because they mastered the hands-on work after they've been doing the same things for the past erm..a year and a half kot and yet their brain seemed so empty it echoes when u drop a needle in it.come on....if you train a 10 year old kid to do blood takings and branulla settings everyday,i bet that kid can do it with one eye close after a year++ of nothing xtraordinary with that.please la.u are nothing but stupid by being arrogant just because u started earlier than me and managed to finish ward works so effortlessly but when people asked you how to get ABSI(ankle-brachial systolic index) and what the normal level u have to ask people next to you for the answer.u are just plain stupid!if u tak tahu jawab tak mengapa but when u buat2 tahu and pandang org sebelah mata that what makes ur level even lower than my juniors in uni.

ok.enough bitching.i hate being one of the bad guys in movie u know..haha.

i 'm currently still adjusting to my new life to be honest and owh boy,it's so hard in the beginning..but a friend of mine once told me that each day that passes will make things better.i expect no miracle but i really hope what she said is right.

dear God,i depend on you solely to guide me thru and please make me stronger to face whatever challenges that awaits for me in future for my path is still bleak and only on you i put my confidence that one day everything will turn out right and so i will be just fine in my chosen path.

nawaitu lilla hitaa'la.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

something to be grateful for


alhamdulillah,induction was over's a relief actually because we had to strain our ears for nearly 10 hours per day untuk dengar ceramah during the induction!i think 6x per day meals is not gud enough to bribe us for that 10 hours torture we had endured,seriously.haha.besides listening to loads of ceramah,i also managed to make some new friends there.all the best with your postings guys!may God ease every path we take :)

waaahhh..tak sgka this monday dah kerja.and sedar tak sedar the year nearly draws its curtain down.can u believe it's already nov?rasa mcm mgu lepas bru attend my graduation day :P.tuptuptup nti dh masuk januari dan skrg bila masa free yg byk dulu mcm akn vanish soon baru nk rasa gelabah wedding prep tak buat lagi.hmmm.....*rasa nak masuk fantasy zone and dissappear sekejap*

oklah.actually i rasa bad mood harini.rasa panas semacam.nk kate hot flush,i masih muda lah i guess that's it for today.take care and see you soon.iA.

Friday, November 5, 2010

always a silver lining.


i igt i nk tulis ni on monday but since i tak tahu keadaan i mcm mana comes monday nti..i decided to just write it now.i got a call for induction this monday and finally i boleh pergi tanpa apa-apa halangan's gonna be on monday till friday.i hope the activities are gong to be exciting(well not to expect much since induction means loads of ceramah!).i dunno how many times i said this to syir but i'm really not in the mood of packing.let it be last minute this time.i wont die of not having enough clothes to wear or toiletteries to use,would i?:P

once induction starts,i immediately have to think about working already because i only have weekend to prepare before i register with the  head of department in any given this monday is induction,next monday is working time!honestly i'm scared yet thrilled to become a real doctor.the word 'real' there means bigger responsibilities.tapi i akn selalu igt dalam kerja mst kena ikhlas dan iAllah Allah akn mempermudahkan semua.

dulu masa bru-bru grad,i cakap dlm hati i nak bercuti smp syir sign-off and sign-on kembali.but i didn't mean lah,klau nk tgu syir naik balik mmg berbulan2 lah i nampaknya Allah kabulkan permintaan kecil i tu(so next time becareful of what u're wishing for).nak kata mnyesal tak la,cuma sian family kena tanggung i yg tak bekerja skrg both of us pun nk start kerja balik.bila nk bid him goodbye tdi i cam sgt sedih.ntah2 yg tadi tu last kitorang jmpa.klau dia kena panggil sign-on time i induksi mmg that's it!6bulan lagi la kot baru akn jumpa dia lagi.rasa nk menangis je dlm kereta tp tu la..bila terlalu sedih nk menangis pun tak boleh.

so dear self,
Allah akn permudahkan segala dan menyayangi org-org yg sabar :)

p/s:smlm first time i nampak muka kecewa dia and my heart broke.rasa nk cakap je ngan dia jgn sedih dan kecewa sbb i akn ada dgn dia smp mati,iAllah.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

a tale of a nightmare.


yesterday i had a the dream,there's a lady around my age.she stood on a swing,swinging.she's  tall,slim,short-haired(almost like a boy-cut) and dark-skinned(hitam manis dalam bahasa melayu).she's not so beautiful but sweet.the kind that u wanna look again if u were happened to have a glance at her(or accidentally terpandang).everything about her is opposite me(except the not so beautiful part la sbb word beautiful dengan i..errr...tak seswai)in that dream,she's my fiance's girlfriend.ewww..marah tak?

sbb mimpi tu,i was down the whole day yesterday.i hope it's just purely a nightmare!fullstop.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

a day worth spent.


yesterday ada org tu bwk i jln2.main-main air sket and tgok2 dpt pgg anak harimau yg comel dan i rasa nk bawak balik rumah and bela jdi my tu la..kecik2 boleh la main-main.klau dah besar silap2 i  pun dia mkn.huhu.rilex betul.rasa tenang and best.mungkin ini la hikmah tak selalu berjumpa.darah manis tak elok juge selau jumpa2 kan.hehe?

surat induksi i dh smp malangnya i kena defer atas sebab2 tertentu.but i really hope by nov i dah boleh start kerja.dan ofis pun dah start memanggil encik kesayangan saya kembali ke laut.cepat rasanya dah hampir 3 bulan dia cuti.kalau ikutkan hati tak puas lagi nk cuti sama-sama maklumla ni first time i dpt spend full-length holiday ngan dia.selalu samada i balik the last month of his holiday atau tak dpt sama-sama trus.tapi a small part of me dah tak kisah sgt nk start kerja or dia belayar sbb what will wait for us after dia belayar mmg lumayan(not money-wise but relationship wise la) dan i kena start kerja cepat untuk nk laksanakan menda tu. :)

and org tu cakap lg dia tak sabar nk tgok i kerja.i know darl,,i pun mcm tak sabar nk kerja.w'pun i takut fikir kemungkinan yg akn dtg,i akn cuba kuat dan kerja seikhlas hati macam u..

oklah readers....nti bila ada cerita menarik nk bgtahu i akn write again.till then take care alright :)

Sunday, October 10, 2010



now i started to feel bored just staying at home.i need to work.i want my mind to start working leave it dormant for too long is no good right.i hope the long holiday i'm having now is enough so that i won't feel any regrets when i start working soon.i need to socialise again.get some fresh air,be in a new environment and meet some new faces.on top of that this long holiday starts to annoy everyone around how i slept till mid-day that bugged my mum so much,and how i harrassed my fiance with so many texts day and night like celcom tu company i yang there least work will deviate my attention from sleeping,going to malls or asking my sister to bring her baby sister jln2 and thinking about syir obsessively.haha.luckily my desire to shop has ceased.thank God.finally ,my prayer has been answered!

i think i'm ready to embrace another phase of matter how much i love my student life,i have to move on.forward.

p/s:i think i'm going to miss syir terribly when i start working and esp when he start sailing but i will always remember  that abscence makes heart grow fonder.dont u agree?

Friday, October 1, 2010



mak had been down with flu and cough and was under the weather for quite sometimes roughly since she came back from perfoming first she cought a cold then came the vigorous episodes of productive then dry cough.i kesian gile tgok her old fragile body straining to cough out the phlegm.then after that she's been vomiting right after she ate something.macam emesis gravidarum pun ada(org mengandung tu :D) hehe.i noticed now she's a bit slimmer due to the many infections she has caught.but good news,that  now she's recovering.not completely but i could see the appetite is coming back and she's already gone out doing her daily chores back(u know buying groceries,watering the plants etc...).and seeing mak smiles again is the best thing ever to me.

bravo mak for your strong spirit to get well.stay healthy and beautiful alright?muaaahhss!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

of getting married.


eventhough the predicted date is somewhere next year,fiance has already pastering me to go look out for wedding neccessities.and thinking bout this again,it's somehow refreshing as my initial thought would be he had zero interest in planning the big day just yet.but hey,thank GOD i was wrong.having an understanding and responsible partner is crucial to makesure we have a forward progression in preparing for our big day.after two wedding boutiques,i feel like throwing up already.seriously the idea of getting married and what to do in order to get married is STILL stagnant since aeon ago.mcm tak berkembang.owh wake-up call.sila lah datang.or am i just not ready yet?hurm..esok i seriously kena buat a rough plan of my wedding to-do list.perhaps,it'll excite me to start preparing for REAL!

well,off-topic,i flipped over some pages in fashion megazine and i just fell in love with this...

one of tods fall/winter 2010/2011 collections

dulu kat ireland boleh la tgok2 klau any cheaper brands plagiat style nie and if affordable i beli je.skrg dlm mimpi je la.huhu.

okies.i need to go sleep.nite2 everyone.

Thursday, September 23, 2010



after 4 days together,he left home leaving me wondering what to do tomorrow.usually every morning i woke up early and we had breakfast together.being able to wish him good morning face to face had been the sweetest thing!seeing him,walking towards him and and seeing he smiles to me.....things are so beautiful even having a row feels good.haha mum classified this as love sick that goes away once a couple got married but i hope we make it lasts forever,this love sick. :D

now i have tonnes of work to do after being sick for a while :p


Sunday, September 12, 2010



a short update about this year's eid.mine alhamdulillah semua lancar je.cuma kurang happenng sket.perhaps because mak is far away in the holy soon as mak comes back,baru nak masak2 meriah's another 3days of waiting and i'm already sick missing her.syir once told me this is how she felt when i was far away in ireland and if this is true,i think i made the right choice by coming back here for good.huhu.however,rindu,rindu jugak.makan mmg the best. i had to frequently reminded myself that my body cannot tolerate foods that well that i would put on weight sooo very easily.maybe that's the only way of holding me back from swallowing whatever that i came across for the past 3 days.hehe.bukan nk berdiet sgt pun..cuma nk jd lebih health concious sedikit.wawawa!and beraya bersama kakak-kakak,abg dan anak2 sedara best juga.the kids la make it more fun.i love teasing my 5 year old niece whenever she's counting her duit raya that would grabbed her bag and hid it somewhere until she cried,like really cried.poor the kid. :D

as beraya bersama incik tunang for the first time is simply fabulous!i lost count on how many times both of us exchanged raya wishes thru texts and calls smp even raya ke-3 still ada.betapa jakunnya kami.haha.dia 5 tahun away and i enam.still my number beat his but number is just a number.apa yang penting?kerjasamaexperience :D

dan sepanjang raya nie i gigih dok habeskan this korean drama yang sgtlah masyuk.haish...hero nih mmg buat saya tak boleh tido...patutla mak saya tak pernah miss tengok boys over flower dulu smp saya naik hairan.

the title in english is personal preference or personal taste.and for the first time i dpt exposure about a furniture designer.korean mmg creative.their drma series or movies always have different themes and not as cliche as ehem....malay dramas.i'm sorry but since coffee prince mmg i dh kagum sbb drama melayu mana ada nk kupas pasal pembuat kopi dan pereka perobot in details kan?hehe.itu just a few examples that came if anyone bored mcm saya,sila lah layannnnnzzzz!

eh lupa pulak,selamat hari raya aidilfitri everyone.maaf zahir dan batin. :D

Monday, September 6, 2010

tagging game.


i was tagged again.this time by cik imma,a member of a group i've known thru syir(happening gile group nie tak tipu)

since i have a minute a two before i go to bed,so here goes:

1) Adakah anda rasa HOT?
depending on what do you mean by hot?sexy ke...CUN ke?....or panas suke marah ke.if all of the above,i'm neither.suam-suam kuku saja saya nie.hikhik.

2)Upload wallpaper PC/Laptop yang anda guna sekarang...?
i couldn't upload it.but let me tell ya is a simple picture of me and my late father

3) Cerita Pasal Gambar Ini...?
it was during kenduri kesyukuran before i flew to ireland back in's an old picture but a very meaningful one.

4) Kali Terakhir Makan Pizza...?
owh how random this Q compare to the previous one :).well...i couldn't remember.erm..let me think....yes,the last time i had some was when im in venice italy with my was made there and then and it's a hugeeeeee one.besar tudung saji.tak tipu.sedap gile.dah lama rupanya tak mkn pizza.

5)Lagu Terakhir Anda Dengar...?
lagu raya dalam jusco tdi.tajuk lupa.hehe.

6)Apa Yang Anda Buat Selain Menyelesaikan Tag Ini...?
goyang kaki.hehe.(and tgh fikir jawapan kepada soalan nie)

7) Selain Nama Sendiri, Anda Dipanggil Nama Apa...?
maksu(by my nieces and nephews dan dotdotdot by syir)muahahah.

8) Tag Lagi 5 Orang Siapa Yer Nak Tag Nie...?
since i met some new bloggers,i would like to get to know them here the newly-added friends in my list(and those i belum kenakan mana-mana tag before):
1.zura the dentist-to-be
2..k.maslina mommy rizqullah
4.dr ainarasyid
5.kerry(sbb dia just celeb her 2*buffday!happy belated buffday dear!sorry my fb ada prob i couldn't wish you as the prezzie dia tag nie,boleh kan?)hihi

9) Siapa Orang No.1 Pada Anda...???

she's a dental student whose  blog i read once in a while(kire silent reader lah nie.hope u dont mind ;p) and she's also a mariner's gf.

10. Katakan Sesuatu Pada Orang No.5
my best friend masa matrix.i paling suka dia panggil nama i 'jeeemaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh'.hihi.a very cute friend of mine.

11. No.3 Ada Hubungan Dengan Sape...???

hoh?!i think dengan bf dia kot.siapa lagi kan.:D

12. Bagaimana Pulak Dengan No.2...???
i just read her blog just now.a mariner's wife as well who has a very cheeky son!comel betul.itu je i tahu.hye kak maslina*wave!*hihi

13. Kata² Cinta Dengan Orang No.4...???
let her partner do this.hehe.he knows best.

14. Berikan Perkara Yang Anda Tau Tentang Orang Yang Tag Anda....
she's called gedik-geli-girlz(but trust me....dia baik gila despite the fancy name.hehe.)
sgt peramah ya amattttt!
syir once had mistaken her for me.haha.
a very good friend yang sgt kebal kalau kena usik ngan the other members of the group.
akan back-up i dlm fb klau kena attack.hehe.thanks imma!
phew...can't believe i just did 14 Qs of a tag.byk rupenye and i spend nearly an hour or so or maybe!time flies bila buat tag rupenye.hehe.oklah.esok i ada 2 major housechores nak dibuat.huhuhuhu.malas yg rasa nk kuar dating je ni.blerh.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

masih ada.


guess what sleep deprivation has done to me?the predictables,cranky and moody.luckily i'm alone at home and it's ramadhan.dan syir pulak tido.mcm dia tahu-tahu saja.bukan apa,time moody-moody nie memarahi boyfriend/tunang mmg satisfiying menurut kata one of my junior which i coudn't agree more.haha.don't try this at home.

anyway,yesterday i was cleaning my mum's room.changed and washed the bedsheets and pillow cases.the washing part washing machine la yg buat kan.swept the floor and arranged the folded clothes back into the wardrobe.masa nk tukar cadar tu,i terjumpa my late father punya fave kain pelikat.tetiba i wonder what was it doing on the bed around the pillows?owh,mungkin juga somebody needs that to pray...say my brother-in-law or my uncle(s) during any visits and perhaps my mum lupa nk ambil basuh or simpan?tetiba i terfikir,maybe itu pengubat rindu my mum kat my dad?the one she holds when she missed him so badly.klau betul my second guessing tu,i rasa sedih dan terharu.i'm sad because no matter how much i miss syir at times,i tahu akan akn jumpa lagi one day ngan dia.but for mak?huhu.dan terharu sbb i dpt witness cinta sebenar yang org kata cinta smp mati.and she always tells me she dreamt of my dad almost every single day!it's been 2 years and 6 months already.

nti raya pertama i nk ajak kakak pergi jumpa bapak first thing after solat raya.i rindu.

Sunday, August 29, 2010



it has been 3 days since mak left us for umrah.the house is a bit gloomy and uncheerful.if not i would be hearing her sewing machine running and  making the noisy sound that started usually after she finished her Al-Quran classes every morning.when i came back from sending her off last friday,my eyes caught the very unusual sight.all the sewing machines(the true sewing machines(the new and old ones,both still work!),mesin jahit tepi(i dunno how to translate this)) are nicely folded and covered.terus rasa mcm nak menangis.eventhough she's away during the first 5 days of my first hari raya after 6 years abroad,i don't really mind(i do at first,i was mad at her in fact!).as a daughter,what makes her happy,makes me happy too.seeing her very excited to go to a place she had longed for ,for years enough to tell me that there's nothing i should be mad at.semoga kepergian mak ke mekah kali nie dpt mengubat kerinduan mak sejak mak balik untuk pertama kali safe mother and my prayers always be with you.

of another note,i started my applications for job's better to do it now than after raya.takut rushing nanti.semoga Allah permudahkan.rasa in denial pulak nk kerja.seronok betul menganggur sebenarnya-minus the miskin part la.haha.

my one and only picture wearing whitecoat during  medical school.comot.sbb tu tanak amek gmbr time blajar byk2.nie pun last day of school before final exams.seb baik syir first kenal i thru middle person.klau tak,takmau kot dia kat i.haha.sebenarnya,i dah rindu belajar.sobsob.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

eat pray love


The Balinese don't wait and see"how things go." That will be terrifying .They organize how things go,in order to keep things from falling apart.

eat pray love
elizabeth gilbert

i've tried to find a more meaningful quote from this book but i just couldn't remember in what page or the dog ear seemed to unfold itself.owh well,this one is not that bad kan.i can't wait to watch the same title movie based on this book although it took me ages to finish this book sbb byk sgt benda baru nk kena digest.with julia roberts as the main cast(liz),i'm sure the movie wont be dissappointing.and by reading the book,bali looks so tempting that it makes me wanna extend my jobless period so that i can  experience its beauty,peace and serenity.

offnote,rasa sgt beryukur sgt tuhan bagi kelapangan hati dan keseronokan Ramadhan untuk saya kali nie.ntah kenapa semayang terawikh tak rasa berat seperti tahun2 sebelumnya.berbuka pun ala kadar masak snedri je tapi itu dah lebih dr cukup.tak pernah lagi ke bazar ramdhan.mungkin towards the end nti kot.yang penting dengan siapa kita berbuka kan and for me,family and loved ones are the greatest company.Alhamdulillah.dan semua org yg saya sayang dekat saje kali.keluarga,tunang dan of them baru je balik dr UK.seronok nk jumpa.dan malam nie ada berbuka dgn angel dan charlie saya.w'pun xcukup seorang angel,plan kena's ok,raya nti harap2 dah boleh complete.ok lah,selamat resume ramadhan  nie ye kawan-kawan.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

kisah semangkuk laksa.


dear syir,

i'm home,safe and sound..and as usual,fully-loaded.sorri tak msg/call awal.semua org decided tinggal hp kat rumah mlm nie.sian saya kacau awak tido td.

masa saya nak cari  seat dlm bus td kan,saya langgar smua org yang dah duduk dengan bag2 saya yang agk byk dan besar tu.naseb baik awak tolong pack kan.kalu tak,lagi la,mcm-mcm mak awak bg kan sblum sya balik.laksa,nasi,even bbur lambuk pun ada.nk makesure saya tak lapar atas bus lepas buka puasa.seronok tau dpt mak yang rajin masak mcm mak awak.tu belum masuk 4 biji limau bali yg boleh tahan saiz dia.mak saya gelak je saya bli byk tu.dia kata mak suruh beli sebiji je(tp sya tak dengar pun dia kata sebiji tu)mereka pasrah je.hehe.pastu kan compartment atas tempat letak beg tu takleh buka la pulak.nama je bus xsma mcm bus dulu-dulu.end-up kat bawah tempat letak kaki penuh dgn saya duduk la jugak.nk buat mcm mana kan.masa tu nk makan bekal tu mcm payah la pulak.dgn beg kiri-kanan,atas-bawah.saya dah gelisah asyik tringat laksa mak awak awak punya pasal,dok promote2 dlm kereta td.lepas saya meksure bus masuk highway and tiada lagi pit stop nk ambil more penumpang,saya jalan ke driver tanya"bang,seat kosong kat belakang tu takde org duduk ke?boleh saya duduk tak?"(kebetulan saya survey2 ada la 3 baris kosong kat belakang).abg tu jawab"takde.duduk la mana kamu nk duduk".owh ini mmg peluang keemasan.saya pun apa lagi,jlnkan proses pemindahan bag..dan dptlah saya 2 seats for myself.lepas tu kan awak,saya trus bukak mangkuk laksa tu.bukak2 je,saya nampak telur rebus separuh utk mkn dgn laksa.perghhh...mmmg nikmat.saya rasa tak smp 10 mins kot,laksa tu pun dah selamat masuk perut.see...siapa kata saya segan.saya tak kira dah satu bus bau ke...saya tetap nk makan.mmg betul kata awak,laksa tu sedap gile.mcm mkn kat kedai.ini bukan nk amek hati,tp betul2.baik awak belajar mcm mana nk buat nie dr mak awak..sbb saya rasa 85%chance saya akn kempunan laksa nie bila saya mengandung nt(in future la,bukan skrg)hehe.buatnye saya nk mkn tgh2 mlm,takkan nk kol mak awak kots.kan? :D

owh selain makanan dan limau bali,beg saya juga mengandungi sepasang baju kurung biru.eccceyyyy mcm tajuk lagu raya pulak kan?terima kasih byk2 belikan untuk saya.honestly,walau pun saya ada baju kurung lain yang sepasang 200-300ringgit,baju kurung biru nie tentunya akan jadi baju kurung yang paling saya sayang.sebabnya awak yang bagi.baju kurung pertama dari awak.saya tak kisah pasal harga,cantik ke tak(kalau tak cantik mst kita tak beli kan)...apa yang penting,awak sanggup redah lebih dari sepuluh kedai dgn saya(tolong jgn serik okkk).u were there when i tried them on.U WERE THERE!tolong bagi pendapat,tolong kutuk jugak la kan.but i wouldn't mind(for now la,klau dah kawen nti,awak kutuk lagi saya gemok,siap!)itu yg paling saya hargai. :) trust me,i love it! the bju kurung and YOU.

and lastly,terima kasih berbuka puasa air apple dan jagung rebus je dgn saya dan tunggu saya tdi sehingga bus jalan eventhough saya di dalam,awak di luar.kalau saya tahu driver tu lambat dia buka puasa dulu,saya dh trun bawak laksa-laksa sekali kita makan dolu.mula-mula saya mmg nak awak tgu smp bus jalan.igtkan after more than 15 mins,saya kesian sbb saya tau awak lapar.kita berbuka tak proper bus pun smp.awak tak mkn apapun lagi.kalau awak balik pun saya smp bus jalan saya nampak muka awak tercongok tgu saya.sayu betul nak balik.sobsobsob.

sya syg awk byk-byk.

yang benar,
si comel awak(kikiki)

Thursday, August 19, 2010


i can't hardly wait yet thrilled to meet mr fiance tomorrow.i'm going to his place tomorrow,yes to future inlaws' place just in case u're wondering.i really don't like the feelings i have now let alone to think deeply on what's gonna happen tomorrow or their perceptions on's not that i don't like them.they are fine,in fact they treated me well before like i'm one of their own but to be honest i always think i'm below par compared to those who had spent their teenage years under their moms' nose so that they have near-to-perfect attidude of soft-spoken,delicate,lemah-gamalai,sopan-santun (who could stand duduk bersimpuh for hours without having the urge to change sitting positions every minutes like i did) type of ladies.i spent most of my time best to learn these protocols in the west.that's what i'm afraid of.the thoughts of me breaking any plates or glasses while helping the mum serving dinner,water splashing while cleaning the dishes and worst running out of words to talk to the dad have been echoing in my mind from the minute i said yes to syir and they could be my only nightmares in my sleep i too paronoid.?and frankly speaking,im not the kind who's chatty with just anybody.i picked people.not that i'm that arrogant,it's just im shy-shy cat.haha.if u gain enough trust out of me,believe me,we can talk till dawn.why not just stay quiet in penang?too many times he had asked me to go over to his place but i kept saying that he's signed off and available to be there with me,i think i'm running out of excuses anymore.the next question is...what to wear?i don't know.i dont' know.i don't want to be hypocrite by wearing a baju kurung which i just wear during eid or when attending makes me wanna stumble when i'm standing up.waaaa....i really wished i could talk as friendly as possible to his parents like some people who do it effortlessly and flawlessly.yes flawlessly.i think the problems with this issue are there were to many rules&regulations,DOs&DONTs and unneccessary protocols that complicate things regarding joining another family but not quite yet, if u get what i mean..too bad jeem,u came from the root which has this phrase from eons ago long before you even existed that says'biar mati anak.jgn mati adat".my reply will be 'baik mak.". :)

hurm....but i have to get over face the fears and most importantly just  be myself.i wouldn't want my future daughter in-law(if i have any son to begin with.haha)to pretend to be what she's not..right?and afterall,syir akan ada dengan i all the time pun(i'll makesure he is).tolong doa i tak chicken out last*while wriggling my index finger left-right-left*

Monday, August 16, 2010


hyde 2010.

i was nearly going to name this post as childbirth.what a name!haha.

well,these few days have been euphoric.with mr fiance just a few hundreds km away( me,it does make a difference compared to when he's sailing) and fasting month environs that is sooo different from previous years,i think i never felt much better to i am dh boleh remove ticker berapa bulan dia onboard tu.sakit mate je tgok.haha.

rasa seronok sgt fiance dh dekat dgn i.our relationship i would say is like a pregnancy-childbirth cyle.ask a pregnant woman what does it feel to become pregnant.mst dia ckp mcm-mcm ada.sakit,pening,loya,nk muntah,hyperemesis(muntah terlalu kerap),letih,malas..u name it.semua ada.put the terible things aside,apart from those,mst rasa super happy+nervous when she found out there's a baby growing in the womb.pasti rasa superrrr excited when the baby starts kicking.then rasa terharu bila pergi scan dgr heartbeat and nampak how the lil one looks like in it's crib(at that time is the womb,still(hehe)then comes the dramatic part....childbirth.for 9months,all the pain and hardship were bearable but when the final battle starts,God knows how excruciating the pain is.the screaming,gassing or if intolerable sesangat...epidural.tapikan bila baby kuar,dpt tgok muka dia....hilang suma sakit.hilang semua letih bertarung nyawa seketika.even ingatan how the pain was pun poooff!just dissappeared!(the experience told by beloved mother and sisters) ngeeee!

samalah macam tgu mr fiance saya.6 bulan dahulu,when he got the call to sign on...i mcm kucing nk beranak.nervous,SAD...mixed the same time i'm thankful that he still got a job to do and this means no delaying of his lah,with all the living neccessities yang kena bayar,siapa tak risau off he went.haaa....masa tu i was struggling with my final year....the tension and stress yang sky high made things worse between us.bila dia anchor or masuk port,i pulak ada ward rounds,clinics,lecture,etc....bila i cuti,dia di tgh lautan la pulak.bila i smgt nk call,dia letih baru abes duty.bila dia plak nk chit chat,i pulak merajuk.haha.but he's always the cool one.try to be patient all the time.i macam api.thank god dpt partner bila sesekali dpt call,chatting,skyping..mmg hati melompat2 tak cukup tanah.seronok sgt.pernah sekali i rasa nk nangis terharu sbb i dpt tgok muka dia thru skype sbb selalu we ol sembang je.tak pernah webcam.ada je masalah. :)) see these little things do matter for us yg peluang utk communicate sgt susah.dan during his last month onboard was the hardest.i barely lived my life counting the days lamanya lgi dia nk balik.susah nk convince myself i ada 4 to 3 to 2 weeks more before his time is up.the worst thing is when they delayed him from signing's equivalent to a full-term mother with full dilatation still having full+frequent contractions(bukan brixton hicks dah ni) and yet the baby still refuse to come out.haaaa.mcm tu lah.tapi kan...bila dh tgok muka dia balik....rambut dia yg berubah sedikit...senyum dia...bau dia...suara dia...automatically i felt connected! i lupa semua.i lupa berapa kali i nangis sepanjang 6 bulan nie.i lupa berapa kali i promised myself tanak cakap dgn dia lagi.i juga lupa yang dah 6 bulan i tak jumpa's all worth it.well worth it!

waahhhh panjang gile i bebel kali nie.saje je.dah lama blog nie cam bosaaaan je content dia.hehe.and owh,how's ramadhan treating u guys?i rasa seronok sgt kali nie.i boleh berpuasa dan bertarawikh tanpa perlu mengira berapa hari lagi i kena balik dublin.definately the best feeling ever!dan setiap hari boleh text syir nak ucap selamat berbuka!hehe.alhamdulillah! :)))

Thursday, August 12, 2010

happy faces


he's home :)

Monday, August 9, 2010

welcoming both.


i have a feeling that this ramadhan will be better.
i hope so.

and i pray that with the beginning of the holy month,all of us will be blessed with good health and pure intentions of doing nothing but good deeds and gain lots of pahala.


maafkan salah silap,terkasar kata mahupun bahasa.
kita insan biasa yang hnya menjadi hamba yang ESA.

selamat menyambut ramadhan al-mubarak.

Saturday, August 7, 2010

previously on beautifully arranged....


last entry i was whining about some uncertainties that bugged me like you remember? last that thing was confirmed!phewwwwww!nasib baik betul-betul.if not i seriously rasa nak bakar bangunan dayabumi tuh. syir dah serik dah bg nombor agent dia kat i after those episodes of i-called-dia-i-emailed-u-i-called-dia-balik-bla-bla-bla.....sampai berapa kali daaa.tapikan,nasib baik tahap kesabaran i sedikit least i mantained my tone at normal level.optimum la.if not mahu ada la org yg makan dalam kot kena sound.tapikan i dah janji dgn myself,i nk jd lebih penyabar...doa semoga tuhan bantu i.

so i guess i can start counting days,like really do it.hari nie ahad....esok isnin,pastu selasa.owh 2 days more :D

to be honest,excitement yg ada dah declined sedikit as a result of the bad news dulu.i hope in two days time i dpt refresh keterujaan yg baru!


Tuesday, August 3, 2010



it's quarter past one in the morning and im still's already wednesday.another 6 days.
i've tried to book a flight ticket a few times tonight but i guess i'm too traumatised by the recent terrible experience that it affects my judgement wether to just click the 'purchase' button or wait till tomorrow.i deteste the thought of making another call to the agent to confirm the status of mr fiance that suppose to preceed any booking of flight should i make one.i dh cakap kat syir hati i sakit lagi i tak sanggup nk kol lagi.but nak tak nak esok kena jugak kol or else duit atau points enrich possible je melebur begitu sahaja.i couldn't bear any more losses apart from the time that we shoud have had spent together by now..argh,abaikan.

org sebok-sebok tgok baju and my mum dok sebok cari idea baju nikah.sempat lagi pk nk cari baju bertandang skali.gile.haha.owh before that sempat juga tinjau-tinjau perfume utk buat hntaran.mahal betul lah satu set perfume tu.huwaaa...down.senang2 pakai one drop perfumes je lah buat hntaran.haha.btw,i'm nowhere near the BIG's just i got carried away once in a while.kasik chance la eh?

: p

p/s:when i passed by my hanging stathescope on the bookshelve just now,tetiba rindu nak amek letak dlm whitecoat(owh sekarang dah boleh hang dekat leher dah :)  ).petanda lepas raya je i kena  start kerja.dan i envy my friend yg dah dpt baby or carrying one at the mo.ini bukan petanda ye,ini mengada-ngada!hehe :p

Thursday, July 29, 2010



everyone at home has caught a fair share of different kind of illness at the moment.and yet i'm leaving to k.l again tomorrow which i don't think is a good idea at all.anyhow,the matters that'll take me there are reasonably wrong to i booked the tics.and aloha k.l!i'll be leaving tomorrow and come back on sunday(hopefully)!i really miss home!(although i'm home).and talking about going to k.l during this mega-sale period,i've already started dreaming of doing a bit of retail theraphy while i'm there.the problem is,i just did a massive shopping of few good pieces of tops and accessories  in penang which burnt a huge hole in my sis's pocket(which i(or WE) dare not telling my mum about)!haha(evil laugh).so i better be good.furthermore puasa is just around the corner and i guess some saving up would definately benefit me comes raya!

offnote,an email form the sea really cheer me up and elevates my mood  now that a euphoric i am.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

dont dare to read this.


i could never feel as irritated as i am right now.everything that i planned has gone down the drain.the fact that some people didn't do their work as best as they promised makes me angrier!hey miss/mrs.....can you just imagine if your significant other was in the shoes?i bet u'll cry your lungs out if you were me!i hope you do! much as i hoped i was calmer,the irritation was unberable!it was like when u woke up from a sleep and having a bad dream and yet the bad dream is one hell of  a reality that i have to force myself facing it!

take a deep breath in,and out......*sigh*

yes,they decided to keep mr fiance for another 12 f**king days!itu klau dia tak lupa nk cari reliever lah kan?!

goodbye cuti-cuti malaysia.i guess i sambut syir dengan berpuasa bersama-sama sahaje.what a nobel way of celebrating homecoming :()

i really wanted to curse the day u were born but if i do,we are two same heartless i decided to let you off the hook.but forgiveness is nowhere near  forgetting,just so u know.

p/s:mind the language.the words just slipped thru when i'm typing away.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010



i started missing things that beyond reach.

i miss dublin.i miss my student life.i misss friends that i used to hang out with,go road-tripping with,sama-sama nervous nk masuk bilik OSCE before's all(the memories) coming back to me now.i think that my status now as a penganggur just making things worse.i like being at home.slept till mid-day,killing time by reading things beside medicine and going places for the purpose of holiday semata-mata.who would resist all those things?tp it just isn't me.ntah..rasa hidup kosong.juga menyusahkan keluarga for not being able to contribute much.saya mungkin harus bersabar sedikit is already syaaban,then comes ramadhan.lepas raya im all yours....kementerian kesihatan malaysia(owh pedihnya fact nie.huhu)

on a brighter note,the offshore period for mr fiance is nearly up.if the agent manage to find his reliever i might get to see him again next mon/tues.from the bottom of my heart,i really hope this will happen.kalau awak kata awak penat,saya penat juga.menunggu.sila pulang cepat.i just wanna be me in front of you for the first time.i really miss you.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010



seronok aja tgok bila bloghop geng-geng sekapal yg lain dah berjumpa org tersayang.

buka satu blog,owh papa si chomel dah balik. :D

jalan-jalan lagi,owh incik suami sudah pulang. :)

intai-intai yang lain,yey incik tunang dia datang melawat. :P

jenguk-jenguk lagi satu,owh boyfriend-boyfriend mereka dh sign off. =)

yang paling best,ada antara mereka yang dapat turun gile!

tetiba jdi kesian pada diri sendiri..

: ' (

p/s:i think i deserve a cry.

Friday, July 2, 2010



i baru call agent syir kat office mnta dia dpt balik ontime which is in the end of july.bukan seminggu,2mgu atau sebulan after the expected release date sebab nti dh bulan puasa.i hope she really means what she has said."kita akan buat kerja kita dengan sebaiknya".i have a good feeling that she will walk the talk as my syir has quite an impressive history on being released ontime(a few days or a week tu kira cincai la...since tak pernah rasanya he being held captive onboard for more than a month overdued).

owh masa cepatla...cepatla...i dah rindu nak pi fishing dengan dia.pastu lumba-lumba siapa dpt ikan byk dan gelakkan masing-masing siapa dpt buntal(pufferfish!this devil is not only poisonous,but it bites the hook and plummet/sinker smp putus!) and now tgh musim durian...i nk ajak dia makan durian kat balik pulau near the place we went fishing the last time.


p/s:sekejap je hati dah berbunga-bunga.baru td igt nak buat entry pasal hati kosong.hati kosong?apakah?

Thursday, July 1, 2010

too full to be true.


kawan smp syurga....
bersabar,bertahan dan please kuat.
things will get me.


take care.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

a lot like love.


the final month always the hardest.i knew it.for the last 5 months i was fine on my own.
but when my concious mind finished doing the maths,automatically heart says it couldn't wait any longer.and this is when suffering begins.

why there is a thing called love in the first place?

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

la tahzan.


semenjak-dua menjak nie,rasanya tiada masalah lain dlm hidup ni kecuali masalah kewangan.adat hidup menganggur,beginilah.akibat tidak pandai mnguruskan kewangan di masa lampau pun iya juga.cuma saya tidak terkilan berhabis membawa ibunda dan kakak dan abg berjalan-jalan sewaku menghadiri graduation tempoh hari.itu adalah sebagai membalas jasa mereka.doa-doa yang tidak putus sepanjang 6 tahun pengajian...itu belum lagi muka gembira dan sedih(yg selalu cuba disembunyikan) menunggu di airport setiap tahun menyambut dan menghantar saya kembali ke ireland.walau berjuta saya belanjakan nilainya tidak sama.letak itu ketepi.

mungkin kerana selalu berwang(w'pun scholarship dan matawang lain-lain),bila tidak ada,susah hati betul.dan saya tidak layak mengadu kepada keluarga kerana dari dulu keperluan asas memang tak pernah kurang.cuma apa yang hati minta ini mengada-ngada.Tuhan..kalau ini lah denda atau kafarah atas rezeki orang lain yg aku terbelanja atau diguna tanpa sedar,risau di hati mmg milik aku.kena redha dari ditanggung kemudian hari.kadang-kadang terfikir,duit tu harta dunia semata-mata.tak boleh masuk kubur pun.apalah yang nk dirisaukan sangat kan?tapi fitrah manusia,bukan sekadar kewangan,tapi tenaga,masa dan kadang-kadang kasih sayang memang tidak pernah cukup...jauh sekali nak bersyukur.

Tuhan dah jelaskan,ingatlah 5 perkara sebelum 5 perkara:
1)muda sebelum tua
2)sehat sebelum sakit
3)kaya sebelum miskin
4)lapang sebelum sempit
5)hidup sebelum mati.

tu dia,Tuhan awai2 dah bagi warning,tapi tetap tak beringat.dah-dah..jgn dok bersedih dah,dari dipikir duit yang mmg tak akn cukup smp bila2,lebih baik berazam jgn ulangi kesilapan yg sama dan pikir mcm mana nk tambah pahala kurangkan dosa.ecece....bunyi alimnyerrrr hai.(monolog dalaman mcm nilah yg selalu melengahkan kita nk buat menda baik kan?)

                                                                                   cliff of moher,ireland.summer2010
                                                        dalam byk2 tempat lagi grand yg depa pi,ireland jugak pujaan hati.
okies kawan2....jumpa lagi.

Friday, June 18, 2010

nota hari jumaat.


"barang yang lepas jangan dikenang............"

ingat tak intro lagu p.ramlee nie?
tadi masa tgh melipat kain yang klau sidai tak cukup ampaian tu...smbil mata ke layar nk tukar channel lain seperti selalu,tetapi bila tgk tajuk. taubat.
hati macam berbisik2 pulak....."at least dengar la sikit apa ustaz tu nk cakap..".

dalam banyak benda yang diperbincangkan tadi,ada satu isinya yang menarik hati.

kata professor jemputan tadi,ada 2 benda yang perlu dikenang selalu dan kalau boleh sampai ke akhir hayat.

1)dosa-dosa lama.ini supaya kita terusan2 insaf dan timbul rasa rendah diri kepada Allah  s.w.t dan selalu meminta ampun dan bertaubat tanpa jemu.

2)mati.ini sendiri mau igt la kenapa kan?hehe

selamat hujung minggu dan selamat beramal.

p/s:skrg musim durian dan buah-buahan tempatan kat penang nie.ada org kata buah durian balik pulau yang terbaik seantero dunia.ada berani rasa ?:P

Thursday, June 17, 2010

worn out.


harini hari leth saya.

tak larat nk berpuisi,apatah lagi nk bermadah helah(tp tulis blog ok yerk?)

cuma nak cakap,"lambatnya nk tunggu bulan august!"


p/s:first time ada harapan nk ambil syir kat airport nti :D hopefully dia tak turun dalam bulan puasa lah.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

i hate me.


to hurt or be hurt?


to hurt AND be hurt.this is more likely.

Monday, June 14, 2010



malam yang hujannya renyai-renyai,bersama-sama secawan besar milo panas adalah gabungan terbaik senaskah novel milik kakak.


"Dahlia,sesungguhnya Allah telah menyembunyikan enam perkara...."

1)Allah telah menyembunyikan reda-Nya dalam taat

2)Allah telah menyembunyikan murka-Nya dalam maksiat

3)Allah telah menyembunyikan namaNya yang maha agung dalam al-Quran

4)Allah telah menyembunyikan lailatul Qadar dalam bulan Ramadhan

5)Allah telah menyembunyikan solat yang paling utama dalam solat(yang 5 waktu)

6)Allah telah menyembunyikan (tarikh terjadinya) hari kiamat dalam semua hari.

                                                                                    ~panggil aku Dahlia

harini dah 1 rejab.bermulalah bulan mngejar pahala.sebetulnya mungkin hati belum cukup ikhlas untuk berpuasa sehari penuh ia lebur sebelum masuknya asar. :(

Sunday, June 13, 2010



i'm home.

 12 hours flight with family members onboard was somehow sweet experience that makes time went by quicker.sedar-sedar dan smp klia.truly like the feeling of seeing familiar faces around. :)

plus,i just had a catching-up session with my buddies who i missed their presence so dearly when i was in dublin.we talked about so many things from work,politic to relationship matters.there were happy and not-so-happy stories and from them i realized as we grow old,the problems are more difficult and harder to deal with.tetapi tuhan maha bijaksana,the older the wiser we are :)

however,there's something i miss about dublin,the summer weather.i know i'm complaining now but who wouldn't when u could feel sweats dripping from all over your body most of time especially after 6 years living with natural air-conditioner and sweat-free?(eleh jeem,macam u lahir kat kutub utara kan?hehehe).come on,cut me some slack and give me time.iAllah,i'll adapt back.

owh lupa,being able to talk to syir for hours via mobile phone add another extra point to the positive side of being home.the fiance of mine just anchored at bintulu upon my arrival  indirectly making my homecoming extra special. ;)

but i know,life is not a bed of roses.while i'm happily eating mom's cookings,happily chatting away with childhood friends,happily wasting call-credits with my loved one,there are friends back in dublin or wherever  they are who's struggling with their modular exams,final med exams and the likes.itu belom lagi org kat palestine nu yang ditembak hidup2,children separated from their parents and worst, limited foods and medications for fact,in my own life,i dont know what God has in store for me in future,but i do pray he gives me strength and bless me,my family dan seluruh umat manusia with nur ,hidayah and peace of mind.

owh apa yg i merepek malam-malam ni.oklah kamu-kamu,i'm officially penanam iAllah jeem ada plenty time to write later.take care and drink plenty of water to replace the insensible loss from the sweating ye(khas untuk ex-dubliners just in case u read this :P)
p/s:to my dear blogger friend who's recuperating from a great loss recently,my heart goes out to you.Allah knows best.remember that tau :)

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

it's not goodbye.


dear dublin,

for so long i've been waiting for this moment to come,to go home and never come back to meet you again.i guess my wish has been granted come tomorrow.but why i feel very sad?my heart is aching departing from start to feel like home to me.the place where i've learnt so many things,cried  so many times and laugh out loud!the place which thought me a true meaning of friendship and most importantly the place which made me realize i have more in me than i previously thought.eventhough i have opportunity to prolong my stay,to let myself falling deeper with your beautiful summer,i have to admit i have far more reasons to go home where i truly belong.i have undeniably a wonderful family who will wait for me at the front door when i'm exhausted from work,i have friends who never fail to show up and drag me for teh tarik and support my back when things go haywire and not to be forgotten,i have a fiance that i want to build a life together and spend the rest of my life with Godwilling and he's waiting for me to come home.

semoga kita berjumpa lagi dublin.

thank you for making me,me.thank you for giving me such memorable moments that i would definately cherish forever and thank you for making my biggest dream came true.

yours truly,


predictable yet meaningful song.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

highlights of may.


1)i just got an invitation to my conferring ceremony and reception a few days ago.yeay!it's on the 3rd june at 11 am.hoh,finally i get to wear the robe which consists of a gown and hood.and my request for an extra pass into the hall had been granted!so no one will be left outside.double yeay!

2)i am busy packing my things into boxes right now.after 6 years,one can imagine how many clothes,books,begs,shoes and whatnots that i've been accumulating in my room.i wish mak and kakak were here now instead of on the 2nd june to help me out main problem is these boxes are to be collected by tomorrow!*pengsan!*

3)can't believe i'm actually leaving this room,house for good soon.definately going to miss the sounds of neighbor chit-chatting with her elderly friends(that indicates she's still alive:btw,she'a an old lady),playing piano(creepy sometimes especially at night),and having party till 10am the next day(not nice,i tell ya)

i'm excited to start things anew in my beloved country but at the same time i have this mixed feelings what if things don't turn out the way i expected?


Friday, May 21, 2010



today is the day when i typed so many entries and published them but at the end the day,they are either being deleted or saved as a many things happened in between that eventually resulted in me having headache and lost interest to write at all.luckily i have some courtesy left to explain this.

i think i might retire early tonight.

p/s:how to bring back the lost excitement in a relationship just in case anyone knows?

Thursday, May 13, 2010

not another minute

im about to declare procrastination as my biggest enemy in a sec.i hafta.with boxes, unfolded leaning on the wall,laundry spinning in the washing machine,luggage contained of mixed clothes from previous and upcoming trips and a few more bookings to be done...i think im in a great mess!

okay,i'm gonna start functioning as a maidhuman now.where's the hangers again?

offnote:i hope we wont receive any cancelling email from the airlines company for tomorrow's trip.i did received one at 1430 for my 1455 flight the other day and i only managed to check the email after i safely landed at the cancelled destination.what a joke of the day!oslo and berlin,here we come :D pray for our safety dear readers.


Tuesday, May 11, 2010



forget the breathtaking views for a while.seeing an old friend and reminiscing about our golden days back in secondary school is aesthetic! lying side by side with your old friend on the left and best friend on the right while catching up on each other's latest news and going-ons in life is truly happiness that makes me want to lay like that forever.i wished!

dublin welcomed me back with grey sky and cold shivery breeze.even after 6 years i still couldn't befriend its weather.

Thursday, May 6, 2010


the avoca trip really worn me out.i spent most of the time today sleeping.syir has just anchored  but i decided to let him do whatever he wanted to do,in other words i just lack of energy even to have a chat with him and some discussions between us has tire me more.but whatever it is,i love him anyway.

the official result has just been glad i got the title finally.the journey was excruciating yet worthwhile.besides graduation,there are a couple of things that i look forward to.

5-11 mei:nice and monaco
14-20 mei:oslo and berlin
24 mei:arrival of mak,kakak and abg.will meet them in heathrow
24-27 mei:london
27 mei-2 june:venice,florence and rome
5-8 june:paris
9 june:malaysia.

for the wonderful life,Alhamdulillah.segala pujian hanya untukNYA.

Monday, May 3, 2010



i had a good time with the magnificents watching iron man 2 this's not like other action-packed movies which are stressful all the way from the beginning till the end.this movie gives us a bit of laughs here and there and robert downey jr really nailed the iron man character.he's like a middle age man who's hot!(if u know what i mean ;P).if u have watched the first one,then u must watch the second.more robots for sure.apparently marvel's collections never disappoint me.

and ladies......
put on your louboutins or blahniks and let's enjoy the next SITC sequel..... it's gonna be on cinema on the 28th may.i dunno whether the premier is gonna be on the same date worldwide.i hope least before i go back to malaysia for good.takut malaysia tak lepas censorship board.hehe.

eh jap....28 may i dekat italy.
hurmmm.....girls,malam graduation jom!!!!!!!!!!

oklah.actually i HAVE to start packing.i'll jump in the car again tomorrow for another road trip in Ireland.this is probably the last one as each and everyone of us gonna be scattered around europe within a couple days time.this makes me sad already.the last 6 years have been wonderful with them around.after this we'll be sent to new places to start anew and meet new i wish things stay the same but then,this is life.
maybe something better awaits us in the future kan?we still have the memories that will remain forever.IAllah...

p/s:mr big reminds me of syir.i think they have similarities in some ways.haha.on the other hand i think i have chemistry with carrie..........'s walk-in walkdrobe!what do you think? i miss him already.esok mungkin dia smp bintulu and he told me kapal will anchor for a week in IS may!

Sunday, May 2, 2010



harini marathon series di atas dr episod 2-15.haritu dh tertengok episod exam punya pasal terpaksa postpon samp last semua kerja terbengkalai.tapi puas hati.cerita nie best.

watak lelaki utama.di potray as seoarng lelaki yg perfect.ada segala:rupa,harta and a golden heart although a bit control freak at first.tapi in reality,rasanya tiada kot lelaki seperfect ni.

watak perempuan utama.di paksa kahwin pada usia yg muda,bukan dengan kekasih hati,tetapi dengan pilihan apa bercinta lepas kahwin dengan husband sendri?maya nie dilemma antara suami dan 1st love dia.small issues in her marriage actually drift her back to her first love.subtle issues such as husband doesn't include her in decison making,working to hard...etc.dan sebenarnya benda2 kecil macam ni lah yg hancurkan perhubungan byk org.

watak antagonis.first love maya.very determine to get maya back.dia buat saya geram!

well,i'm not married yet.but this story nak kata berat tu tak lah sgt tp agak 'practical'. byk subtle and hidden messages yg saya dpt.kdg-kdg lelaki sempurna bukan segalanya.mungkin pada pandangan mata org luar.he may have everything that most women want but lack of one little thing that essential to the partner.dan kadang-kadang juga lelaki insensitive.tak berat nk bertanya apa yg partner/wife tu nak sebenarnya dlm r'ship she really happy?bgi perempuan pula,kdg-kdg,yg depan mata tak dipandang.yg jauh dikenang-kenang.let's say if maya tak buat perangai,they could live happily ever after tapi adakah maya akn hidup dlm ketidak puasan hati sbb diketepikan dr pelbagai perkara yang dianggap kecil oleh adam.dan mungkin juga adam won't pursue his interest like photography.untuk nk memahami issue nie dengan lebih jelas,sila tgok 500 days of summer.then u'll understand what i mean.tak semua bad endings will lead to disastrous life.but still,if we have an awesome partner,why on earth looking for troubles by cheating with someone else.hey ,that's not nice! ;P

weee.....susah rupanya hidup berumah tangga ni.ahaks.

Saturday, May 1, 2010



provisional result for final exam of medicine was out yesterday.
thank you Allah,the most gracious and most merciful.couldn't be more happier.

when i was told i passed,the first person that i called is mak.she sounded happy.actually this is for her.for always be my pillar of strength,who never tired of giving me  her unconditional love,prayers and supports throughout my 6 years abroad being a medical student.she told me the whole family was praying hard for my success.God bless them for that.i couldn't thank them enough.

and to mr fiance,look how far we've come.thank you for always being there and may God bless you for your patience.

now,dah jdi penganggur tetap.huhu

congrats UCD class 2010.we finally made it doctors! :D

Sunday, April 18, 2010



it's not even eleven yet,but my body being signaled by the great mastermind--->the brain is dragging 'ms jeem' to bed already.i hate this.i should be reading something instead of blogging.but if i don't blog,i sleep. which one is worse?God help!

on a different note,sunday is just a perfect day!talk to mak for hours and got buzzed by syir from philippine on his way to bintulu.sehari-dua lagi sampai la tu ke bintulu.yey-yey!


Friday, April 16, 2010



i forgot the first month.

i missed the second.

but hey, i remember the third! :D

tgok ticker kat sebelah,dah 3 bulan cincin kat jari.selalu lupa dah jadi tunangan org.selalu je lagi tersasul cakap"boyfriend i bla..bla..bla..." hehe.



my name is azimah.
i'm a final year medical student.
thank you for helping us in the exam.
as you know,this is part of my exam and this exam is the most important exam in my life as it's going to determine my future career.
i hope u will help me as best as u can and give your full cooperation  in the exam.

i can start memorising these lines from now on.
a friend of mine once said,"the last push always the hardest!".i couldn't agree more.

10 days to go.

wish me luck people!

Sunday, April 4, 2010



a simple NO would make a HUGE difference.period.

that's the end of the first para,not the entire entry bear with me or shall i say enjoy the rest?=D

weekend's wonderful!grande java chip frappucino with extra shots for this weekend.kidding!i got a better bargain.saw and talk to mr fiance for quite a good few hours over the skype.he's in a chirpy mood(thank you mr cole and mr drogba) and i on the other hand was too mesmerized to talk as awful lot as before once i saw his face.gosh, how i wished that moment lasts's only 2 months and he looks slightly thinner if the webcam didn't lie..i left him with only 2 hours of sleep last night and this morning he skipped bfast break and use the remnants of the coverage to spend time with me while the tanker slowly was a bit challenging for him  to keep up with time and worrying about the bars of coverage that flactuate  so often over time while talking.everything has to be done's funny when he quickly stood up and pull the curtain aside in hoping for more coverage in his room when the bar went down so rapidly.and how fast he called me back when we were disconnected impressed me further.i did have palpitations everytime i couldn't hear his voice again and the screen went blank.thank god it only lasted a few seconds.

and tonight i have the same kind of feelings as when we first started as a couple.the prominent one is the feeling when my heart jumped after seing him again.the rush,the time constraint.and the feeling of appreciation of one's small gestures and acts are definately what i remember most too.masa tgok dia bgun buka curtain sedikit for better coverage,wrinkles in his forehead when the line buat hal,muka dia sedih bila i cakap i rindu dia, semua buat hati i tersentuh.

malam ini terharu sampai nak nangis.

offnote:i love seeing you in the t-shirt and p/s:i love you

Wednesday, March 31, 2010



just now while studying with aiza,for a split second i thought i was having dejavu.'hey,i was in this situation before,facing her and telling her risk factors of a disease and complications of another'.when thinking back,i've been doing this for years.everytime exam is approaching i would find myself talking to her like this.this is not a dejavu.this is a routine.yearly routine.and because i only do it yearly or half-yearly,it seems so far back in time that i perceived it as a dejavu.3weeks ++still counting.

currently the temp outside is 1 degree celcius.can u believe it?it's already 1st of april and yet the season still refuses to move was even snowing yesterday!i need a warmer!who not only warms my winter,but colors my spring,chills my summer and brighten my autumn... :D

 owh dearie syirspring,where art thou?

Sunday, March 28, 2010



it feels unfamiliar somehow to attend 'formal' lectures back.lecture days were long gone(it was 2 and a half year ago during my pre-clinical years).bukan nya tiada lansung kuliah dlm clinical years nie cuma byk lae buat practical dr pergi kuliah.but from tomorrow onwards,i'm going to lectures again.time to put on jeans and snickers again as love!tp 4 lectures in a day?pengsan!tetiba berkobar pulak.haha.hopefully tak hangat2 tahi ayam la this will be my final 4 weeks of lectures as a medical student insyaAllah(kalau i takyah repeat.ya Allah....mntalah i pass my final,ameen).how time flies yeah?i'm nearly done.heheh.UCDians 2010,skeeet jeeee laeeeee :))))

owh ya,smlm tunang i dh boleh msg2 thru fb dr nagasaki,nippon.bila tgok nama dia dok komen2 kat fb i mmg terubat lah rindu sket! kepada buah hati org kapal sekalian,selain msg2 thru celcom,maxis,digi etc yg akn charge rm2 setiap sms dr luar negara,diorang bleh activate facebook mobile and msg to your facebook inbox with just rm1 per week!(i agk xpercaya but i dh clarify dgn dia.nti i confirm balik) tp still,rate itu jauh lebih boleh la save duit sket nk bina masjid kan?keskes.what u need is a facebook account yow!(which i'm sure most of u guys ada)hehe.ada org dh pesan suruh i rajin update facebook ni.i will dear=)

3hb april nie dh 2 bulan la dia sign off.another 4 months to go.yeah,i boleh,i boleh!
tetiba rasa nk plan percutian extravaganza bila dia balik.incik syir,kemana kita?hehe.

bukit bendera.a week after i landed from dublin.well-planned!i suka(padahal kat penang je pun.ahaks!)

rightO!i nk titun.nite2!

Saturday, March 27, 2010



for the first time sumone gave me an award.
thanx a million nanie.u'r such a sweet mother-to-be :D
mesti tak sabar nak jumpa sechomel kan?

so,what do i do now?

Thank the person that gave you the award:
i just did

Pass this award onto 15 blogger you're recently discovered and think are fantastic:
i wanna give it to:
  • cik azie zainal
  • cik ain(tak lama lagi dh puan nie)
  • cik kerry
  • puan ena mazly
  • cik myra
  • cik farah galway
  • puan izan
  • puan yatt
  • cik a'a(hopefully she blogs again after this)
  • puan nurul mommy alya

yeah,that's about it.sikit sungguh list blog kat sebelah tu yer.nt msa blog hopping i nk ketuk2 rumah org.selalu jd silent reader je.actually segan dan agk malu tak bertempat.huhu

state 7things about you:
well,this is the hard avoid bias,i put it this way:
  1. my sister said i'm clumsy.100% agreed!
  2. my mum said i'm full of confidence when talking.erm..55%agreed.not all the time for sure.
  3. syir kata i chummel.haha.nie i tipu.he said i malas argument is sini sejuk ya demam klau mandi lebih dr sekali or 2x.
  4. i love cooking.bila i stress study i masak.bila masak i mkn.bila makan i put on weight.sbb tu tak kurus2.
  5. my bestfriend kai said i'm so girlish that he banned me from buying another pair of converse.syir totally agreed on this!i dunno why they both hate converse.huuu
  6. the whole bunch of my best friends kata i love pink.undeniable.more specific pink pokedots.
  7. kawan smp syurga kata i mcm iman dlm cerita sepi tu.i suka bercakap.i will keep on talking to my bf even if he wasn't listening,i will snap at people like she did in the train but the most important thing that i realized myself is i am a bit like her in lovey-dovey matter.loyal.but be warned,i might be flirty at times.keskeskes.
my one and only pair.dulu buruk,skrg dh cuci nmpak baru.heheh.pic snapped by jay baharin and taken from my previous blog~myILHAM~
hoh,there goes.a lenghty one.igtkan nk tulis pendek2 je.anyway,thanx again nanie.

on another side of the world,syir dh smp nagasaki.heeee....he dropped me a text at 3.45a.m and i was still sleeping.takpe,i bg chance dia jln2 dgn tenang.klau tak mst i kaco dia all the way.hehe.
have a good weekend folks=)

Friday, March 26, 2010

short but swit.

i'm hype.
~today is my last day with the surgical team,ENT(telinga,hidung dan tekak).i was with them for a week.besides the very kind intern,i have this super handsome kacak dan baik senior specialist juga.hish buat dosa je duduk dlm team nie sbb asek nak tgoook je dia cakap masa buat ward round =P kacak sungguh!(sori na mr fiance).lepas ni no more early mornings.hurrey!

~bilik intern on-call macam in wardrobe,katil dan ensuite with toilet and shower.i heard kat malaysia,pengudaraan pun tiada.tiada tingkap and double decker bed.takpe,houseman klau sakit baru bleh cuti.bagus2.onkol sehari,cuti 2-3 hari.owh haven.

~one of my team's patients is dying.she just had massive bleeding from the base of her tongue,due to oral/tongue cancer.i saw her husband walked in and sat down beside her and gave a few pats on her head.emotional btul tgok.huhu.she could be gone forever any time.

~and today is daffodil's day.
Daffodil Day on Friday 26th March is the Irish Cancer Society’s major fundraising day supporting cancer patient care and information services across the country. It’s a day for all of us to come together and pin a daffodil to the nation, giving hope and support to people affected by cancer in Ireland. 

~i hope syir smp jepun esok.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010



it's silly when we take silent treatment seriously for quite a while and by the end of the day u go nowhere but back into each other's words of comfort.silly.

offnote,it feels good when u have an eye-candy to look forward to every's worth the early mornings.



Tuesday, March 23, 2010

when u're scared.

just keep breathing.

medicine is cruel,at times.

medicine is cruel when a doctor is left facing the son telling him his father is dying and could be gone at any time.

medicine is cruel when the result of a biopsy is so devastating it hurts u for ordering it in the first place.

medicine is cruel when it sucked out the residual emphaties left in me

medicine is cruel for taking away my time and emotions needed to love and to be loved.

i think it's just cruel.

Monday, March 22, 2010



 i j'dore the style and whatever waves of fashion that currently hit the racks in those shops along o'connell and grafton st.the plated skirts,the lacy tops and straw hats and begs that are being displayed at the moment never failed to slow down my pace of fact i adore the color of this season to the max!i felt happy just by strolling along the shops.chronic nye penyakit nih.huhu. ahhhh..if only i got more money or being the third wife of the royal highness of brunei.(joking!).but life isn't solely about money and new clothes right?

cuma satu je benda i kena dpt dlm masa terdekat.with mei and june coming soon,i would be soooooooo grateful if i can get it a.s.a.p.nak click~click~click and sNap!sNap!sNap! masa jln2 nti and iAllah masa konvo.huuuuuuu............ishk bagaimana ye?(dlm hati kata maybe boleh beli time bila dh kerja nnti je.mmg takde lubang dah nk gali nk beli tu)sobs.

ok lah.stress je pk pasal bukan kebendaan semata-mata.

nite dearies =)

p/s:cik azie,may the force be with you and so do my prayers ;)

Friday, March 19, 2010



today is just too much.i was braved.i was positive.i was happy.

but today,i'm scared.i'm a pessimist.i'm un happy.

hug me and tell me,"it's ok.we'll go through it together".together.

that's all i want to hear.

Monday, March 15, 2010



i couldn't sleep.this sleepless state never fails to visit me every year,a few times.i guess he came knocking again.

the first day,i said go away please.

go to hell!i told him to leave again the next day.

i gave my come in but promise me dont stay for too long.because your stay here will invite another dreadful guest,depression.

i nak syir.
balik cepat.
i nak u.

Saturday, March 13, 2010



last night out of blue i felt like making pancakes from scratch.i googled the recipe and picked the easiest one.and to tell u the truth,i slept early so that i could get up early and well,make some pancakes for breakfast.i know it's ambitious and so,i had pancakes for brunch and early dinner instead of bfast.and i still have some batter left for tomorrow.what a pancake's day!whoorey!

 one looks like joker's face and apparently all of them appear to be more like roti canai than pancakes.

this is how u enjoy them.nuttella or honey.maple syrup is an alternative too!

i'm having sorethroat with mild temperature.forget the lemsip.i wont take them yet.they taste horrible!

i hope this will reach where it supposed to be just in time when syir arrives.8 years ago i wouldn't imagine myself to love someone this much.not even is not only blind,but it makes me broke too!haha.


Thursday, March 11, 2010

.south shields.


If you want more laugh,
why don't you say so.
heartbreak warfare
~john mayer

saya tengah cari satu gambar nie.tetiba jumpa gambar lain pulak..dh terlanjur jumpa sya pun nk buatlah cerita ttg gambar-gambar nie.mst ada antara korang yg pernah dgr tajuk di atas tu kan?ye tak lain tak bukan tempat kekanda-kekanda anda(wow,it ryhmes!) pernah belajar suatu msa dulu.xsilap i ada few batches yg dihantar ke enggine mostly.and i heard ada gak di sent ke tempat lain but that was earlier punya batch.south shields nie terletak dlm jajahan newcastle which is a part of united kingdom(UK).dekat dh dgn scotland.kira kat UK nie belah atas2 la.definately jauh dr london.area nie klau winter,pergh..kalah dublin kesejukan dia.smp demam2 i.hehe.

meh i bwk korg tour south shileds ni nak?

i pergi masa spring.cuti masa dalam metro(ala2 LRT yg connect airport dgn south shields nie)i tak igt dh how far this place from airport tp tak lama sgt la.less than an hour kot(org kapal yg tahu plis correct me if i'm wrong)abaikan caption tu ye.i lupa bila i buat tu.haha.tgok i cakar muka dia.=P.nope,i'm just joking here.jgn pk bukan2!

ni plak dh smp south shields.ferry-ferry itu adalah utk membawa penumpang ke north shields.haa...north shields ni kan mst buah-buah hati org kapal ni suka(termasuk la i) sebab di situ byaaaakk factory outlets.hehe.korang akn tanak balik bila smp sana.nak pi the other side cost us aorund 1-2pounds each.i ckp ngan syir murah gila.tgok-tgok dekaat je pun.tak sempat nk abes satu cerita dh smp.haha.

ini pulak dh smp north shileds.tak ambil pun gambar kedai-kedai kat sana.sibuk jln-jln window shopping.i beli sket saja sbb xmuat beg.kecik.nti i cerita kenapa beg kecik.the body shop punya brg mmg murah!by the time nk balik bru tringat nk amek gambar.

time ni nak tgu ferry ke south shields balik dah.=)

time nie angin masih sepoi-sepoi bahasa org cakap.hehe.mmg kawasan nie dekat laut.sesuai la dgn kerja diorang kan.hehe.

gambar nie di south shileds'town rasanya.i tak jln byk kat sini sbb kitorang kejar masa.ambil gambar je.i igt i beli a pair of gloves je kat furry gloves to match my outfit.

then bila dh ptg sket kitorang bergerak ke newcastle main city.malam dh time gambar kureng sket.huhu

 then we amek last metro off to the saya bawa beg kecil sbb saya tak bermalam proper pun.dia busy nk exam time ni.saya tak nak la kaco lama-lama.gerak dr dublin pg-pg buta.flite kul 6 pg rasanya.masa saya smp,syir xsmp lae.train plg awai belum start rasanya.haha.and jln-jln sehari suntuk then we actually stay kat airport smp the next morning for my flite back to dublin.borak-borak kat airport smlmn.=)msa nie 2-2 org pun muda je(skrg pun muda lae.hehe)duit tak byk dan selalu pokai(dia sbb saya selalu pujuk dtg dublin.saya kot.ahaks),student pulak tu=studi+exam.semua benda kena catu sbb nk jmpa each other punya pasal.mkn menda-menda kecik je pun.but we were so happy=)

saya tak jejak kaki pun kat college kesayangan diorang sbb time limited and college tu lelaki semua rasanya.susah nak sludup saya masuk haha.

masa kat newcastle nie kami mkn di chicken cottage.ala-ala marrybrown malaysia la.byak cawangan dia around UK.murah dan sedap.seswai la standard pelajar.bygkan betapa sedapnya chicken cottage nie masa di manchester,w'pun tempat nie penuh dgn mknan halal,kami tetap pengunjung setia chicken cottage.hehe.manchester lain hari cerita key.nt klau korang tringin nk dtg sini,ajk suami honeymoon.harap-harap misc bg bonus end of this yr.boleh la shopping kat sini.hehe.

okies.berjela pulak.harap-harap korang enjoy la baca.ayat cm skema sbb susah nk translate tanak bg rojak sgt.see,dh jd abc dh nie.=)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

pain revisited.


i have a joke to tell.but b4 that do understand this first.there are 2 heart sounds in normal healthy people.the first heart sound and the second heart sound.the first heart sound is due to the closure of mitral and tricuspid valves.the second one is due to closure of aortic and pulmonary valves but well they are not this simple.but for now,itu je yg penting.

Dr T******: "Ali,can you tell me what the two heart sounds are?"
Ali:"Lub Dub?!"

extracted from 2009 ucd yearbook

luckily Dr T****** is a neurologist not a cardiologist.i wonder what will happen if he's a cardio.dah kena sekeh kot.hahahah.

neurologist:doktor pakar saraf
cardiologist:doktor pakar jantung

for quite a while i've been looking for this song.i love one republic.i love their songs.i love the front man(ini harus).hehe.

click here for a better quality embed that here gives sore to my eyes.

and i love the masquerade ball.but it reminds me of venice.i never liked venice since the first visit except for the masquerade masks that were on sale everywhere jgn ajak i pi venice tok honeymoon.i tak suka

tomorrow i have a plan to date with available patient(s) in the hospital.

anyone interested?

offnote;i received both sms and email from the land of the rising but still not enough.i'm one hell of a greedy person.blame is never enough.

p/s:i just realized i dislike places that people go for!venice?!i guess the outer space would suit me best;p