Thursday, August 19, 2010


i can't hardly wait yet thrilled to meet mr fiance tomorrow.i'm going to his place tomorrow,yes to future inlaws' place just in case u're wondering.i really don't like the feelings i have now let alone to think deeply on what's gonna happen tomorrow or their perceptions on's not that i don't like them.they are fine,in fact they treated me well before like i'm one of their own but to be honest i always think i'm below par compared to those who had spent their teenage years under their moms' nose so that they have near-to-perfect attidude of soft-spoken,delicate,lemah-gamalai,sopan-santun (who could stand duduk bersimpuh for hours without having the urge to change sitting positions every minutes like i did) type of ladies.i spent most of my time best to learn these protocols in the west.that's what i'm afraid of.the thoughts of me breaking any plates or glasses while helping the mum serving dinner,water splashing while cleaning the dishes and worst running out of words to talk to the dad have been echoing in my mind from the minute i said yes to syir and they could be my only nightmares in my sleep i too paronoid.?and frankly speaking,im not the kind who's chatty with just anybody.i picked people.not that i'm that arrogant,it's just im shy-shy cat.haha.if u gain enough trust out of me,believe me,we can talk till dawn.why not just stay quiet in penang?too many times he had asked me to go over to his place but i kept saying that he's signed off and available to be there with me,i think i'm running out of excuses anymore.the next question is...what to wear?i don't know.i dont' know.i don't want to be hypocrite by wearing a baju kurung which i just wear during eid or when attending makes me wanna stumble when i'm standing up.waaaa....i really wished i could talk as friendly as possible to his parents like some people who do it effortlessly and flawlessly.yes flawlessly.i think the problems with this issue are there were to many rules&regulations,DOs&DONTs and unneccessary protocols that complicate things regarding joining another family but not quite yet, if u get what i mean..too bad jeem,u came from the root which has this phrase from eons ago long before you even existed that says'biar mati anak.jgn mati adat".my reply will be 'baik mak.". :)

hurm....but i have to get over face the fears and most importantly just  be myself.i wouldn't want my future daughter in-law(if i have any son to begin with.haha)to pretend to be what she's not..right?and afterall,syir akan ada dengan i all the time pun(i'll makesure he is).tolong doa i tak chicken out last*while wriggling my index finger left-right-left*

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