goodbye(or not)

salam.


 im saying goodbye to this old place.waiting for you here

alhamdulillah

salam.

here is just a quick update on what the latest happenings in my life.well,as what stated in facebook,my status has changed from single to married.alhamdulillah.Allah has granted my dua.

so how's life as a wife,as asked by many since i got married.to them...i just smiled.honestly i have no answer yet.the best part being a wife is i have the right to love the husband as much and as best as i could.in fact it's my responsibility to do so.there's no boundary as to how,when and where the love could be expressed.its a freedom for both man and woman that Allah has granted once a man recited the akad.after 8 years of relationship,surely the new bond that ties us together will be greatly appreciated.

and honestly,marriage is a good learning ground for me.from the husband i have learnt a lot since day one.certainly marriage is no walk in a park,but no matter how many humps and bumps along the road,we hold our hands tight and brave through everything together.

i think that's all for tonight.

i'll write again iAllah :)

comparison kills.

salam.

how cruel work can be that it deters me from writing here.haih.thousand apologize.i think this is the longest i've ever been hibernated from this page or do i have an even worse record before?gosh,i hope not.

it's already july.2011.thinking about how time flies so fast enough to tickle my spines.hope i dont miss out any important things before the event.i think i am now going through a painful period of waiting.so far this is the hardest time.i tried to gather all my strength and faced it alone but i just couldn't do it alone any longer.i need a break.let's just wait till he comes home.

yes till he's home......


eeeee....benci la rasa sedih2 ni.layan cite korea pon bagus.jom :))

of getting married(ntah edisi ke berapa)

salam.
forgive me if u peeped thru here and no new entry was written.i was caught up in between the craziness of my work and the feeling of laziness that would never go away,duh!so im officially 26 years old a few days ago and yet i still feel like i'm 16!haha.age is just a number right?what's more important is the way we feel about ourselves and how we enjoy our life.This year,i celebrated my birthday at work and on the road cause we had another road-tripping to the south.boy,it was different from the last 6 six years where i spent with my friends back in dublin.no more fancy holiday in european countries on my buffday like previous years.but blowing candles in front of my sister and mak was the best thing that happened in years.mak recited some prayers beforehand and that's the best gift a person could have given me ;)

my cousins whom i dearly miss.seronok dpt kumpul like this once in a while.

and now lets talk about something erm...different.haha.when i was reviewing patients..i was daydreaming  about my wedding.when i'm filling in blood forms,i was day dreaming about my wedding and when i'm about to sleep,again....the same thing would happen.i think i'm having this wedding blues.haha.is it normal?dah la tgh posting ward yg dhsyat gile teruk,boleh pulak berangan-angan camni.ishk..ishk..owh ya,my consultant now perangai dahsyat gile lae truk dari boss anne hathaway dlm the devil wears prada tu :(((

the unwanted nauseous feeling

salam.

before 5
all of us(read:me and my 6other colleagues) were bored to death for not having much work to do since 10am this morning.everyone including the boss couldn't hardly wait for 5pm so that we could punch out and dissappeared from the hosp compound.what an atypical day but i love it.hehe.

after 5.

i started to miss him so terribly.
i hate not seeing him over the weekend when i'm off from work.
i despised the fact i couldn't text him goodnight
i missed his laugh,his jokes,his smell around me.
and what i missed the most is his presence.
*paling rindu adalah bila dia buat lawak-lawak kecil yang i try not to laugh berpura-pura macho but it tickles my tummy deep inside that i silently had to laugh when i turned the other way around or when he's not looking*<---i dunno why i feel not right no laugh in front of him.haha.

missing loads.

salam.

waaahh..mcm dah lama tadak masa nk berleisure tulis blog bagai macam malam ni.hari-hari balik rumah fikir nk settlekan baju yg nk beriron,beg yg nak berkemas dan lunch box for tomorrow.mmg tadak life.but hey,that perception mmg kena ubah.so as a first step towards happier future.....let's write something here.

before 5.
while settling ward works before heading home,me,my colleague and mr boss were having this casual chat on why people still choose medicine despite the lifeless nature of it.our conclusion is:most of these people were not properly informed of the consequences of choosing doctor as a career.who would want to take care of like 45-50 patients in the middle of the night while other people are so soundly asleep?that is only a small gist of being a doctor.i need not tell u more.cukuplah bila pesakit sendiri hairan bila u tak balik dr pagi semalam ke petang harini sampai pesakit pun tnya"doctor tak balik rumah ke?marathon jaga ward ek"demn.

after 5.
waaaarggghhh....baru 4 bulan.lambatnya nk TUJUH bulan.ye,kenapa saya pilih pelaut?kenapa?*bang my head on the wall 100x*

when things are not falling into place.

salam.

its been a long time i came here to write.time decided to go against me nowadays.i barely breathe,whatmore to write.so lets start before i lose grip again on the mighty time.

before 5.
work is truly crazy.i never imagined not having any sleep in 24hours but since i started working in a new department,i was awake for 37hours  working non-stop during on-calls.so there goes the human rights to sleep all out the window.and talking about the mean things about working life,i think all of the living creatures in the hospital have no mercy towards each other at all.the nurses will bug u non-stop,from signing investigation forms to checking transfusion bloods series number from dusk till dawn.to top it up,the specialists will simply order  weird blood investigations(that u have never heard of) and blood cultures from morning to odd hours eventhough they are well aware TB labs are close non-working hours and viral loads and CD4 count can only be run on tue and thurs only.dan patient pula,stop ingesting clorox,racun serangga dan ubat gegat for these things are not even food or edible,MORONS!even writing about all these things give me shortness of breath.now i feel like running away.run away from the chaos in hospital.run away from never-ending ward works.in short,just quit being a doctor.

selepas pukul 5.
i'm souless.no mood to be human anymore.i practically dragged myself home.i even dozed off while driving at times.God loves me he saved my journey back home despite the recklessness and lethargy while driving.Sometimes i wished i hit the divider and broke my femur and not having to go to work for months.haha.silly me!the worst thing about this  crazy work is not having enough time for family and my loved one.stupid work.i lost count on how many times i cursed my job.but i'm grateful to God for sending my angelic mother who prays everyday so that i'm strong enough to face these trials and tribulations of so-called glamourous job of mine and a sister who iron my clothes on days i slept earlier than 9 and packed my lunch the night before as she noticed i'm not as chubby as before.God bless them.and God,please send syir all the happiness in the world for his patience and understandings towards me is far greater than i thought.

tomorrow i'm going somewhere not so near,yet not so far away,IAllah.it's somewhere i used to go with bapak.the short and sweet trips we used to had together.ah,the good old days and the memories that pierce my heart so softly yet so painfully felt.

next.

salam.

starting a new posting is dreadful.i think it's worse than having exams tomorrow because i can't actually guess what sort of things i'm facing tomorrow.at the moment,i'm just preparing myself with the basic stuffs i learnt from med school.blurgh.tak bestnya this feeling.


it's ok azimah.it's ok.everything is going to be fine.

lillahitaa'la.

it's all good

salam.

phew.an email and a phone call took all the troubles away.alhamdulillah semuanya baik-baik saja.
don't ask about the details of the tsunami because what we've been talking about for the precious 11 mins were "baju kaler apa?pakej tu ada apa?pelamin cantek tak? and bla..bla..bla.."

seriously as if tsunami has never happened.

syukur.
alhamdulillah.

of getting married.

while waiting for my ms zoe to get a bath(setelah lama dia tak mandi),sempatlah saya nak menulis sepatah 2 kata here.so ladies and gentlemen,i'm officially on leave again.yes read me:cuti lagi selama 7 hari.now dah tgal 4.apa yang i buat for the last 3 days i pun tak tahu but this end of posting leave seriously berjalan laju macam bullet train tu.ahaks.exaggerate sket.

so this long hols is specially dedicated for wedding preps.for these 4 days i'm going to travel north-south for that purpose.things haven't even started yet,i mean the travelling but mentally i'm tired already.but when i dah start buat sket2 tetiba rasa lebih bersemangat dan idea pun mencurah2 datang.and when i updated to syir what i've been doing he's more than happy to hear it and nak senyum pun ada bila dengar apa requests dia untuk wedding nti.now it's crytal clear tunang saya nampaknya lebih bersemangat untuk wedding kami. :)))

but now i'm damn worried!did u hear about the 8.9 in richter scale earthquake? and the place was the one he used to go during prev trips.eventhough now he's not using that route anymore,i'm still worried sick since he's still in that country and according to schedule,he's arriving in 2days time which means he's somewhere near the perairan jepun.ya Allah,kepadaMU kami berlindung dan meminta pertolongan.


p/s:kita doa sama-sama ya untuk keselamatan mereka yang jauh nun di lautan mencari rezeki and for those affected by the calamity,my heart goes out to you.

the island

salam.

masa,
tolonglah bergerak dengan perlahan
aku mahu mengkagumi ciptaan tuhan
yang tak pernah menjemukan ini


i don't understand why i always chose somewhere near the sea or surrounded by it as my holiday destination.i guess this is how i remember someone so dearly,so close to my heart when he's not around.....

p/s:harini saya naik bus zoo.hikhik.

blessed.

salam.

where were i on the valentine's eve?searching prezzies,having supper and strolling along gurney drive with two of my secondary school besties.instead of celebrating valentine's with our significant other,we decided to just went out and updating bout each other's lives.we talked about how we first met....how we became close and even discussing about our big days which happen to be in the same year.although we short of one,the night was still happening as usual.sometimes i felt so blessed i have them around during good and hard times.bak kata my friend,kita makan pasembur nie together dari belum masuk university sampai sorang ke jepun,ireland,sabah and god knows where lagi sampailah sekarang semua org dah jadi tunang org soon to be husband and wives.the bond we have was so strong even after 6 years abroad i could still talk to them whenever i want to.just ring them,poof!they are in front of me offering their ears to listen and their shoulders just in case i cry in the middle of stories.kawan-kawan yang baik tak akn berkira untuk call u up eventhough u forget to do it first.kawan-kawan yang baik tak akn berkecil hati if u forget their buffdays but will suggest a belated party to meet up.kawan-kawan yang baik will treat your mum the same as theirs.and kawan-kawan yang baik will tell u the truth even it hurts.


God,im very grateful u sent them to me and please bless them for their kindness and sincerity are beyond what i deserved.

my charlie tercrop pulak.huhu.sorry charlie.

cekelat celup.

salam.

anda suke cekelat mcam saya?

anda mahu kahwen dlm masa terdekat?

any buffday party around the corner?

jom ramai-ramai tempah cekelat dr cekelat house nie:

http://cekelathouse.blogspot.com/

 tetiba saya rasa mahu menempah cekelat dr sini juga sedap benau nengoknya.hehe.

jom tempah ramai2!

p/s:kata korang kenal cik jeem and mntak extra diskaun.hehe

pre-hols excitement!

salam.

before 5
the last oncall was an eventful one.it was AnE call.5 beds in total and they were full not even before 12midnite.out of 5,2 were for toilet and suturing and K-wiring(i have no idea how to do this but eventually partient's finger dapat diselamatkan with the k-wiring :) .so with the help of my bestie,i managed to settled those at 12.and out we went to have a drink.at 1am i received a call from paeds ward and another child with fractured tibia/fibula(tulang betis)came in.after full clerking..i sent the child for backslab.everything finished at 2.30.my eyes  could barely be opened anymore and when i went up to my ward to have some sleep i saw one body berbungkus already on the way into coffin.aiyark.what a timing.so dgn berat hati i walked in on-call room and i saw my bestie and thought she was in deep slumber already until she said something and was awaken by my entrance.we talked about the patient who was just died and how at 23 he would have the whole future in front of him if he's alive.both of us were disturbed by his death.i thought i have no empathy left in me but i should be glad at least i still retain some even after feeling like zombie with nonstop works for the whole day.

after 5
esok i dah start my much-deserved holidayyyyy.yippeyyy!~so many plans in my mind right now:
!)kemas my wardrobe.it's a mess!
@)survey butik pengantins.hehe.
#)lepak starbucks smbil baca mags.
%)bercutiiiiii!!!!

harini i tgh tgu call dr nippon.rindu betul la.

dil to pagal hai.

sequencing

salam.

before 5(few days ago)
first time i experienced a patient collapsed and eventually died during my call.no doubt it wasn't a pleasant experience afterall but that's life.in medical world,things are unpredictable.a patient could be healthy one day and passed away the next day.ajal,maut dan jodoh di tgn tuhan.

after 5
planning for holiday is never easy but i love doing it simply because i get to travel.if i were not a doctor,i most probably be a tour guide right now jetsetting myself from one country to another telling a bunch of tourists why they should visit this place with me.owh boy what a joyous feeling just imagining it.hoho.but huhu...tomorrow morning i akn terpacak dlm ward reviewing patients.reality hurts.haha.but i i have a good news.....i'm taking holiday to rejuvenate my body and mind going somewhere not-so-far away.

besides planning for holiday,i'm also looking for photographer for my big day.any ideas any photographer that would make my wedding a fairy tale?:p let me know jgn malu-malu okay darlings!

tada.

salam.

tadi  ada org guna mr marc and sekejap je saya bg pnjam dia accidentally engraved the top cover by writing letters A-Z with sharp blade.u know bila org tgh bergayut,kita selalu akn conteng2 kertas atau main2 dgn rambut.dia pergi tulis huruf2 atas kertas atas top cover mr marc dgn blade!apalagi,saya jd naga lah.berapi-rapi saya marah.saya sedih sgt-sgt tau.tapi saya lega.ini hnya mimpi.tu la.mak kata jgn tido lepas asar.hehe.

sori-sori...iklan sekejap tdi.well.....saya berjaya menukar layout blog ini kepada yang baru.the background picture was taken by my sister semasa she came to ireland last year.it's a picture of grasses with the blurred version of cliffs of moher,the famous tourist spot in ireland as a background.if any of you go to ireland one day,don't leave before u visit this place. seriously it's breathtakingly beautiful :) hopefuly saya lebih bersemangat untuk menulis with the new layout.it may not be as beautiful or as sophisticated as the other modern blogs in this whole entire blogosphere,but this picture means a lot to me...

and since dah berkerjaya nie,my life basically can be divided into two;before 5pm where i would spend most of my time  in everyone's fave place,hospital and after 5 usually at home lah.sekarang ni rumahku mmg syurga ku.so my post from now onwards will be about my life at work and after work.hehe.ok tak?

baiklah,since i cuti harini...di bawah adalah cerita semalam dan harini.

before 5.(yesterday)
my first ever patient with retroviral disease(HIV +ve).came in with infection of the left knee joint.am i scared?yes.but this is what doctors do.try our best to alleviate pain from patients and help them live their lives in the best quality possible.so this HIV +ve man included in the list so no matter what disease he carries,i am responsible for the knee joint infection and makesure he'll be treated accordingly.

after 5.
today i cooked again.mee ketam for lunch and fish and (mashed potato) for dinner. it's something i enjoy doing but having difficulty in finding time to do so due to work and sleep deprivation nowadays.so yeay for today i'm holding the pans and pots again.hehe.the rest of the day i chillex(chill out and rilex) sahaja.hehe




esok i oncall.esok juga mr handsome saya anchor.sedihnye.i dislike working after 5 :((

couch potato

salam.

i planned to go to cinema and have a good time watching movie but none of the current movies attract me so i thought why not just stay at home and watch movies that i missed when they were showing on the big screen.so i bought 4 new dvds and i just managed to watch one and another 3 still pending.


after watching Killers,i have to admit ashton kutcher is damn gorgeous!haha.i love the movie.and i realize that man who's leading a not-so-normal life ,for an instance a pilot,spy or erm...marine engineer (who's contantly on the go) will love their partner extraordinarily.no?haha.and i tremendously love that too!wawa.

oklah.marapu saja.i'm on call again tomorrow.chow!

nu.

salam.



today is my happy day.postcall and was home at 5.45pm.usually at that time i was still busy running around the wards clearing up all the ward works left by specialist and MOs.but tadaaa...here i am bermanja-manja with mr marc.hehe.

my other half i bet is one happiest creature on the other side of the world. planning our big day is far from easy but i never knew he would be this excited.hehe.and i do think his excitement is infectious because i started to feel adrenaline rushing in me whenever we talked about this.seronok.seronok.

ya Tuhan,permudahkan lah.permudahkan lah.

lovable year

salam.

wah,it's already the beginning of a new year.so let's do a quick recap on what were the highlights of 2010.

january-i got myself a fiance yang penyayang lagi cute.haha.
april-struggling for final med exam.yikes.
mei-final med exams over.*big sigh*
     -travelling around europe with mak,kakak and abg.different experience altogether.
june-i graduated and was conferred.awww best gila! :D
august-syir signed off and cuti smp lebam sama-sama for 4months.puasa sama,raya pun sama :)
november-induction and started my housemanship.horror!
december-earned my first decent paycheck.hurm....alhamdulillah :)

i don't have any resolution for this year cos i did my resolutions on daily basis.
today's:to eat lesser and walk and smile more often.

what's yours?

btw,happy new year everyone.i pray for more lovable years to come for each and everyone of us :D